Undergraduate / Boston offers all important features to me; Boston University / Why BU? [11]

elaborate on biological studies
part in the help section - talk about a medical or biological department there
pretty good though

Undergraduate / "First things first" ; Stanford Essay Supp-- The Fabled Letter to the Future Roomate [2]

you seem to use an excessive amount of parenthesis. Some of them are interesting with good information but I think you go overboard with them. nevertheless it is an outstanding and unique essay.

Graduate / I was praying to god for making things correct; Ethical Dilemma-TAMU [4]

You should add question marks when necessary and change repetitive words like tense. Also, change some of your sentence structure. But good essay.

Graduate / SOP for MSc in Cyber Security/ Warwick University [2]

Overall pretty strong essay. Very logical in how you became acquainted with cyber security. If you adjust your style of writing into something more formal you should be fine.