Unanswered [9] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by falks405
Joined: Dec 27, 2012
Last Post: Dec 31, 2012
Threads: 4
Posts: 9  
Likes: 1
From: Russian Federation

Displayed posts: 13
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
falks405   
Dec 31, 2012
Writing Feedback / Young People are Encouraged to travel or work - IELTS [2]

Young People are Encourage to travel or work for one year after high school and before university studies. Write advantages and disadvantages of this matter.

Recently, many students would have a one year break between high school and university studies. This decision they accept individually in order to travel or find a part-time job so that they could get some life experience.

Firstly, I think Students can have gained a lot of benefit from travelling or working somewhere for one year. For instance, they could learn another culture or place, where they would continue studying later. Moreover, if learners would have a job at break time they can get many hopeful and interesting about specialty and profession so as to change or improve their skills. Also, students can earn some additional many for others studies and they might have been financial independent from parent or relatives.

Secondly, in compare, pupils can lose skills and habits in studying courses or they would prefer have money rather than continue improving their education. For example, they can used to get a salary or they would have a rest because of studying require periodically hard work. Studying is a difficult process and learners need to do some activities anyway even they would not do it.

To conclusion, choosing free time for one year is a personal decision each of student made by them. It could bring some advantages to them such as life experience and money and some drawbacks like losing interest in studying and improving personal skills.

regards
Leo
falks405   
Dec 29, 2012
Writing Feedback / We cannot reduce the increasing crime rate? Need proper measures to control (IELTS) [3]

Hi

It is undeniably true that, the crime rates are increasing drastically all around the world.

I think you need to used a stdong form here without It is undeniably true that and, actually in the next one to like a ....it's not easy to remove it completely from our society

Keep in mind you can sometimes avoid the word "that"

Use stronger words

Also, try use a synonyms in order to avoid repetitions

I think you should a bit work with words of structure; use them so as to make your essay clearly

Leo
falks405@gmail.com
falks405   
Dec 28, 2012
Writing Feedback / Introducing "Right" or "Wrong" to the children is the responsibility of school? IELTS [4]

These days, school introduce behavior of what is 'right' or 'wrong'. The responsibility is not only parents. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In childhood, school and family influent on a children's development in order to build their personal behavior and explain what is a "good" and what is "bad". They have tried to indroduce and prepare kids by adult life helping them to estimate their behavior and actions.

In the one side of my view, parents are responsible for childs bigger than tutors do because children spend most time in a relative's society. It has been proven that parents used to care about sons and they try to follow from thieir activities and hobies. Moreover, many adults prefer keep kids in family society because they affraid that teenagers may get some harmful habits such as smoking, drinking or hanging.

On the another side of my view, children usually get parent's habits so as to be like their relatives are. Likewise, children talk to family to most because they are usally surrounded adults much time and would know almost everithing about life expirience.

Furthermore, school teachers teach shoolboys more academically rather than generally. For instanse, the main point for teachers is to introduce a subject and give a feedback to learners providing different lesson and trainings. Thus, tutors care about general academic knowlege shoolboys and give some advice to their parents after.

In summaries, parents have more power on kids behavior in front of tutors and care about their actions and future. In contrast, teacher put most attention to development learners skills in order to give a feedback parents.
falks405   
Dec 28, 2012
Undergraduate / Quest to Find Wisdom!; Common App [10]

I think would be nice if you put some introduce sentences firstly coz It will clearfy what the main point your essay.
yes, try to work with structure and keep in mind that it's a good make a plan before you're going to write essay
falks405   
Dec 28, 2012
Undergraduate / Boston College Supplement Life is Like A Ball [4]

a608863a:
I thought his words merely meant the uncertainty in a soccer game in which the result of a game cannot be predicted easily but it turned out to be a life lesson for me in a foreign land.

I'm a bit confused with that sentence, I think you can divide it on two parts.

a608863a:
While it's been four years since I arrived at America,
you can try use here the "ever since structure" ;) like a Ever since it has I arrived at America, an embarrassing moment when I first came to an American School still fixed in my heart

been four years I arrived at America...

I think you can write somethink like this joining some parts: I arrived at America in order to study as first time, an embarrassing moment...

a608863a:
held my fist tightly
may be you need excep some "first" words, you've already mention time before
a608863a:
I develop a strong interest in science and I dream to become a computer engineer
as a option you can use a present perfect...something like that: i've developed a strong interst in scence and I've dream...

actually, this is a nice story ;)

----------------
falks405   
Dec 28, 2012
Undergraduate / Boston College Supplement Life is Like A Ball [4]

enjoyed to watch soccer game in front of TV.
enjoy is a verb that follewd by a Gerund

I think would be nice if you put some introduce sentences firstly coz It will clearfy what the main point your essay and what are you're going to talking about..

try to use a wide academic vocabulary in orter to avoid repetitions.
falks405   
Dec 27, 2012
Writing Feedback / Trends on non-cash transactions; IELTS writing tips on Graphs [3]

Hello, could anyone give me some advice how to improve this essay?

The graph shows the general trends non-cash transactions in the UK that was created by cheques, debit and credit card payments methods.

As we can see, most of all transactions were made by consumers with using debit cards through the period 1991 to 2007. Meanwhile, cheques operations declined steadily approximately from 2.3 to 0.9 billion instructions whereas debit cards reached over the 5 billion. In contrast, credit and charge cards transactions rose from 0.7 to 1.9 billion over the whole period.

On the other hand, there has been such a big difference between the ends of a period. Cheques were created mostly at the beginning 1991 compare to others methods of payments. Then, suddenly, debit cards grew steeply exceeding amount others.

In summarize, the graph illustrated that debit cards payments were grown up between 1991 and 1997 whereas cheques disappeared twice in numerous. Moreover, credit and charge card increased steadily reached a pick about 1.9 billion operations in 2004.



  • graph
falks405   
Dec 27, 2012
Writing Feedback / Nowadays, radio is being replaced by TV and the Internet. [5]

Could anyone give a feedback? I would write IELTS academic exam soon time.
Topic: Nowadays, radio is being replaced by TV and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with idea?

Telecom and web-technologies have been grown displacing old-fashioned ways. In my point of view, broadcasting is becoming to disappear because many people surround televisions and different computer devices.

Firstly, telecommunications and the internet provide larger opportunity than radio stations. For instance, there are lots of information in TV and websites that easy to assimilate. On the other side, radio is more difficult to use because people have to be more concentrated because they can only listening to radio.

Secondly, people can listen broadcast stations on the special websites and even listen to it for a particular time. Also, TV watchers have a possibility to choose programs, show a movies in order to manage their time.

Furthermore, people have already used other ways so as to avoid radio. For instance, people can listening to the podcasts and chat with each or get a feedback from services.

Finally, I think TV and web industry will be more popular rather than radio. The point is that it much easier and convenient to listen choosing personal preferences.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳