Posts by alexzxz

alexzxz

Dec 31, 2012

Undergraduate / My love for a life of hustle and bustle; Boston U: Why BU? [6]

Time is a fickle concept. And in only monthsawkward , I would be spending most of it in college, an environment where I had the chance to discover and to mature.

Presently, my schedule is one filled with school, clubs, band practices, jobs, a social life...And I love it.
"a social life" awkward usage/place

To be surrounded in this sort of environment for 4 accomplished years is all I ask for. NICE CONCLUSION

alexzxz

Dec 31, 2012

Undergraduate / "John Hancock Center, Willis Tower"/ Badminton State Champ; UIUC civil engineerin [8]

ESSAY 2: Additional information essay

"Bump-", the shuttlecock made an elegant trajectory as it flew beyond the net and landed on the other side. The crowd audiences burst into cheers, congratulating my team afor winning the badminton state championship. Our team members, all exhausted after a 2-hour rival , hugged with each other with joyful tears on our faces. Badminton is an inseparable part of my life. I have been play badminton since I was six, and I have dedicated two years on my high school's badminton team as the captain. I have experienced notable victories as well as great losses. Yet I savor the freedom to race back in to every game with renewed passion and determination. This sport has taught me the importance of teamwork. As a core member on the team, I have committed to advising team members with techniques while listening to others' advice for improvement. Through excruciating practices and rivals , I have learned to focus on my goal ambitiously while respecting my opponents and the referees. I have also become self-disciplined and have learned to arrange time properly for badminton, academics, and other various activities including debate club, math team and student councils. Most importantly, I have realized that nothing is freely given and that in my future endeavors I have to work diligently to earn the success to which I aspire. Interesting way to conclude it

Work on: have vs. had.

alexzxz

Dec 31, 2012

Undergraduate / "John Hancock Center, Willis Tower"/ Badminton State Champ; UIUC civil engineerin [8]

John Hancock Center, Willis Tower ..." I exclaimed in awe, staring at the magnificent skyline of Chicago from a plane nine years ago. Breathtaking and structurally brilliant, they appeared to me as giant, majestic creatures, looming over, shimmering with brilliantly lit lights. That day, I had a dream: design a skyscraper and furnish my fanciful spirits to icy structures.don't understand this part

Since then, I have been working hard to achieve my dream. I chose the toughest subjects at school.Short sentence here doesn't work with the flow Within my spare time, my greatest hobby was to draw different skyscraper sketches and create unique models using my set of Legos. In the process of drawing and making, I gained hands-on experience and learned to be patient when I struggled to create the skyscrapers that I liked . Furthermore, I proactively founded the speech club during freshman year in high school because I realized the importance of interaction and communication skills required by the engineering field. All these things nurtured the passion for civil engineering in me.

With the help of my cousin, who is a successful civil engineer in Shanghai, China, I was honored to attend a very selective intern program for a 10th grade student at a construction company. The project was to build an animated version of a fully functioning building on a computer first, then to build a prototype based on the animation. The processes of taking accurate measurements and testing designs to achieve the optimized building was fascinating. As I worked with other professional civil engineers in a job setting, I began to value teamwork across design disciplines. I also realized that designing a skyscraper is a precise art against the gravity, and even a potentially small chance of (omit catastrophic) failure is unacceptable. With a great shortage of qualified engineers in China where huge projects are going on without appropriate safety regulation, the collapses of buildings are not merely something local, but rather a huge national problem; therefore, the job prospect in China for a civil engineer is fantastic. I strongly believe the civil engineering program at University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign will empower me in learning how to ameliorate skyscraper safety and make my country a better place. nice conclusion, "a better place" is vague though.

alexzxz

Dec 31, 2012

Undergraduate / "Satisfied"/ Courage to ask for more ; UVA - "favorite word" [5]

bump
if you revise mine, I'll gladly return the favor.

alexzxz

Dec 30, 2012

Undergraduate / NYU-Poly Supplement Question "How are you a 'Poly-thinker'?" [2]

lots of grammar/awkward stuff man

I am a 'PolyThinker' in every aspect of the word.

I often see new problems that affect the productivity of people. short sentence, "new" is a weird word, what you mean?

One big problem is the fast rate at which technology advances. "big" "fast" not enough impact adjectives. Also, hanging sentence.

In many place, I go to, I see old systems that aren't capable of running new programs and are forced to use old outdated programs. don't reiterate stuff, don't tell us stuff we already know.

This sort of problems causes them to become less productive. again,need impact words

Solving this problem by creating a stable program that makes new programs compatible will affect almost every work field.
again, impact, but more importantly I have idea what you are talking about here. making a program that makes new programs compatible, confusing, leaves us hanging.

I only have a vague idea what you mean in the last few lines. Also you didn't answer the question, off topic. You said solving a problem. Who is solving the problem? You gotta circle back, and say you are the one solving the problem.

alexzxz

Dec 27, 2012

Undergraduate / Her name was Christel; Common APP-Person_significant influence [2]

One of my frequent days at Brookdale assistant living ended unexpectedly. Awkward, took me several readings to understand this sentence.

From that moment on, Brookdale became a journey to figure out how I could repair a woman so damaged. Awkward

Her name was Christel. Way too sudden

Who says that those who make more money than others are more intelligent? No connection to subject

My grandmother has helped me to value the qualities in people and to strive to get to know others. She is your real grandmother? or in spirit? Confusing

Try reading through aloud, and listen for any rough spots.

alexzxz

Dec 27, 2012

Undergraduate / "Satisfied"/ Courage to ask for more ; UVA - "favorite word" [5]

This is the supplement for University of Virginia's "What is your favorite word and Why" supplement. However, I feel that i could potentially use it for the Common App Essay instead.

Comments and criticism welcomed. Ideas on possible expansion welcomed as well.

I can still remember that one dinner where I first understood the meaning of the word "satisfied". At that time, we had just finished a sumptuous meal of barbequed spare ribs, bok choy, and green beans when I uttered the words "I'm satisfied" in my parents' native Cantonese. Shocked, both immediately chastised me for saying such. Upon my confusion, they explained: the proper usage was "I'm full", whereas "I'm satisfied" hinted that I had just finished my last meal on Earth. It was my turn to be shocked. My parents were usually more rationale and pragmatic than this: after all, my father had been a judge back in Taishan, China whereas my mom worked several jobs just to support her large family. Although I had been raised with their no-nonsense attitude, sometimes I'd be surprised by examples of their cultural misconceptions. Being the self-righteous, American-born-and-educated youth that I was, I easily joked back that they were being superstitious, yet I just couldn't deny their logic.

My parents were right in a sense: being "satisfied" is the end of the line. Growing up among a community of mostly immigrants and first generation Chinese, I encountered plenty of folks who were clearly dissatisfied by their station in life, stuck in low-paying manual labor jobs. Yet, despite their complaints, most had never tried to advance their prospects through courses/job training, instead abiding day to day life. From that I understood that, while most were unhappy with what they got, they were, in fact, "satisfied" in the sense that they were OK with living an unhappy life. They epitomized Henry David Thoreau's quote, "the mass of men live lives of quiet desperation". Although my parents had perceived the phrase "satisfied" for its ominous meaning, I formed my own meaning for a lifelong philosophy.

Personally, being satisfied meant that you were fine with how things stood, that you were OK with the status quo. While many might consider that to be humble and unselfish, I always saw that as a sign of weakness of those who didn't have the will or courage to ask for more. After all, where would we be if our ancestors were satisfied eating raw, uncooked meat? Where would we be if Columbus never questioned the possibility of a western route to India? Where would I be if my brethren had not fought to tear down the racial discrimination of the Chinese Exclusion Act?

To me, being "satisfied" meant giving up on progress and change. A society that was "satisfied" was stagnant and doomed to die. Until the day I die, I'll never be "satisfied", so that I will always strive for more, for better.