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Posts by snibberbit
Joined: Dec 28, 2012
Last Post: Dec 31, 2012
Threads: 4
Posts: 11  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 15
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snibberbit   
Dec 31, 2012
Undergraduate / Straight/ Culture/ late night/ leader; Stanford/ "Letter to your Roommate" [3]

I thought that this essay really had serious character! Stanford was my dream school so I definitely connect with you in the beginning of your essay. I like how you talked about three specific characteristics of yourself. It made me feel as if I was beginning to know you and I wanted to know more. I didn't see any major edits. Great job, good luck! Stanford would be lucky to have you!

Could you maybe take a look at some of my Rice essays?
snibberbit   
Dec 31, 2012
Undergraduate / Urban setting/opportunity for women/ education/ challenging ; Barnard/Good Match? [4]

I agree. I think that you are kind of vague within all of your individual topics. Maybe you should focus on just one that is really meaningful to you and develop it with a great deal of specifics. Do you have much more space? If you do, then you could discuss all three topics that you mention, or even just two, but having more focused ideas and specifics are better than generalized statements.

Could you please help me out as well?
snibberbit   
Dec 31, 2012
Undergraduate / Calm melting pot of culture and intellectualism / "Why Boston?" [2]

I think your essay is good but I feel like it might be able to apply to any city, not just Boston. And the essay is about why BU, not just why Boston. You did discuss why BU a little at the end but maybe talk a little more about the school specifically. Also, I don't think it is a good idea to compare NYC to Boston. Just talk about what you love about Boston. The comparisons are kind of vague whereas you could use the characters from your comparisons to talk about what is in Boston that you like. I think your essay is good but it could be made great if you add more specifics. Then they won't think that you could use this essay for almost any big city school.

Ideas:
I don't know if you're into history but Boston has a large historical factor that dates back to the colonial days - could be interesting - a great deal to learn

Many internship opportunities with large companies such as...you could list some that have to do with your major choice
I don't know if you're into sports but you could talk about BU and sports found in Boston. Maybe find some BU opportunities that allow you to go out into Boston - opportunities that couldn't get at another Boston school or in another city

You could talk about how BU students are highly motivated and how that is a great environment to be apart of in college - you know you will learn a lot

You don't have to take any of these suggestions if you don't want! :) I hope I helped!

Could you maybe take a look at mine?
snibberbit   
Dec 31, 2012
Undergraduate / TUTORING has been a significant part of my life; Extracurricular Activity [2]

I really like this essay! It is hard to decide how to cut it down. Maybe take out the last sentence of the first paragraph. That will get your closer to your character limit.

More recently, I have had the opportunity to work as a paid instructor at Mathnasium, helping kids to overcome difficulties and push farther aheadcollaborating with kids and their parents to help overcome difficulties with school material, or push even further ahead . As an instructor, I have the freedom to choose how and what students should work on to achieve better results. With greater responsibility come greater benefits for success--working with a student to overcome a year of missed material within a single month was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

I am not sure how much this cuts down but it might be shorter than it is now. I hope this helps!

Would you mind helping me with my essays?
snibberbit   
Dec 31, 2012
Undergraduate / My existence is all I can be sure of; Stanford Intellectual Idea [4]

This is very interesting! I think you definitely captivated me and will definitely captivate your reader. Your essay was extremely interesting. I think that the idea is interesting and different from what most people may say. You definitely connected it to your love of learning and why it interests you. Great job, good luck!
snibberbit   
Dec 31, 2012
Undergraduate / 'The best jobs' - Why I want to study engineering - Rice University [2]

Rice is one of my top schools and I am really nervous about it. I would love some feedback on my essay! :)

In my opinion, engineers have the best jobs. They get to solve puzzles all day long, be hands on, create designs, and help others while they are at it. With an engineering degree from Rice University, so many doors would open for me to be able to change the world. Regardless of what type of engineering I choose to study, I know that everyday that I wake up and go to work, I want the opportunity to be creative and do what I love. I have an extremely strong interest in the arts and have been artistic since I was young. I am also very interested in the problem solving and research that is associated with the sciences. Engineering is the best of both worlds, as it connects both into a career and I would thoroughly enjoy. Being that I want to change lives as I study and work in a field that I love, I have narrowed my search down to biomedical and civil engineering. With a degree in biomedical engineering, I would literally be saving lives. I could design, create, and engineer medical prostheses, imaging technology, implants and a plethora of other devices to save lives. My best friend's mother recently passed away after losing her battle with cancer. Being able to create imaging devices or other medical technology would allow me to save lives of people like her and give them the opportunity to live - an opportunity that my friend's mother never had. If I were to go in the other direction and choose structural engineering, I could create incredible buildings with great, creative designs that are safe for use. Also, as the engineer, I could create buildings that use environmentally friendly materials in order to benefit the environment. These materials would also serve to benefit those who use the buildings. There are so many different ways for an engineer to help and change society. Whichever engineering path I choose to take, I know that I would enjoy every day of it.
snibberbit   
Dec 31, 2012
Undergraduate / Housing, Location, and Academics; Why Rice? [4]

For many reasons, I would love to be a member of the Rice undergraduate community including housing, location, and academics. First, the residential college system appeals most to me. Coming from a small New England town, I am accustomed to a close-knit community. The residential college system would give me that same "small-town" feeling, while being a member of a large, private research community. I could have a rich social life with many extracurricular activities surrounded by a diverse group of students within my college. Moreover, I would still have the opportunity to be a member of the larger community that is Rice University. In addition to the residential colleges, location is very important to me. With its short distance to the city of Houston, the number of resources available to Rice students exponentially increases. This pulsing and thriving city proves to have numerous opportunities for college students through internships, at the nearby medical center for a potential bioengineering major, or at many of the large companies in the city. Also, there are thousands of restaurants, shops and museums, and many sports teams that are great for college students to take advantage of while not in the classroom. All of these reasons along with the rich academics, research opportunities, impressive student to faculty ratio and all around school spirit at Rice make it a perfect fit for me.
snibberbit   
Dec 31, 2012
Undergraduate / UNC Chapel Hill Comfort Food Essay - Corn [3]

This is my essay for UNC-Chapel Hill. It asks what my comfort food is and why. I'd appreciate any and all suggestions and comments! Thanks!

I hear the hot sizzle of the grill, the sound of laughter as my cousins run around my backyard. I smell the slight hint of a sea breeze as the light fades from the night sky. I know that these are the summer nights I long for all year long. Nearby, I notice my cousins trying to push each other into the glistening, calm water of my pool - I guess it will not be calm for long. My mom and dad, aunts and uncles, and my grandparents are all chitchatting on the deck enjoying each other's company. This is what it means to me to be home: sitting in the open summer air, surrounded by family, enjoying one of my dad's barbeque cookouts.

On the grill are the chicken and vegetable kabobs and juicy steaks, while the lobsters are boiling on the stove inside. The one food that everyone anticipates is the corn on the cob, the one food that we always eat at family gatherings during the summer. Sometimes my uncles and my younger cousins have competitions with one another trying to see who can be the messiest, fastest, or funniest while eating it. Other times, we cut the corn off of the cob and have it as a side dish with whatever we eat. It would not be family dinner without it.

As soon as my dad yells, "Dinner's done!" all of the little kids scramble to get out of the pool. They grab their towels in a hurry and race to the table where they begin fighting over where they will sit. The corn is the first food to disappear as everyone grabs a cob for his or her plate. As everyone starts to eat, the silence is broken only by the slight crunch and pop of the corn kernels. Usually, one of the youngest children starts laughing first as he or she notices the butter running down everybody's face while they eat the corn. Eventually, the whole table is roaring with laughter.

There are certain foods that bring the family together and make for memorable moments. In my family, corn is that food. No matter where I am or what season, if there is corn, I feel at home. The family memories come rushing back and it is almost as if I can hear the laughter, feel the poking and grabbing from the children, and smell the abundance of flavors in the air. Whether I am home sick or just longing for another summer night with the family, corn can make me realize that summer is just around the corner and soon, I will be the one being pushed into the pool at the family cookout. Soon, we will all be laughing at each other around the table and smiling from ear to ear. It makes me, and the rest of my family realize that we are all young at heart. Together, during those summer nights, we realize how blessed we are to have each other.
snibberbit   
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / True Value; Stanford sup/ What Matters to you and why. [3]

I think your last paragraph was great but the beginning was not so great. I think that if you could expand on what you talked about in the last paragraph you would be better off. Most people talk about great big ideals and values in this essay so I think that music is good because it is different - I wrote about failure and how it leads to success when I applied to Stanford. I think that music stands out and is not a very heavy topic so your reader will probably enjoy it. I just think that you should go deeper. Why music as opposed to anything else? You appreciate it more now that you do not have it, did you appreciate it before? Talking about songs that impact you and your experience with music in your life is good but why those specific songs? You say music is a language anyone can speak and it can rekindle fires in a person but how does that affect you? What does that truly mean to you as a person?

I hope you find this helpful! Great idea!
snibberbit   
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / I'm a dork! [Stanford roommate supplement] [7]

Your essay is...adorable. I really got a sense of who you were! I have read a lot of roommate essays for Stanford before I sent in my SCEA app and this one stood out to me the most, out of all of the examples that I read. I loved how it really seemed that you connected with the reader and you seemed like, for lack of a better term, a real person! You were really honest and came across as a person I would want to get to know better. Great job!

Could you check out my essay?
snibberbit   
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / A melting pot of personalities; Stanford Letter to Roommate Supplement [8]

I LOVED this essay! It is relaxed and I really got a sense of who you were - it makes me want to get to know you better! And that is what Stanford is looking for in their essays. Great job and good luck!

Could you please check out mine?
snibberbit   
Dec 28, 2012
Undergraduate / I will always be is a Rhode Islander; RICE - Unique Life Experiences [5]

Please tell me what you think of it! It is the Rice Supplement question about unique life experiences and cultural traditions that lead to a unique perspective to bring to Rice.

Thank you so much!

Prompt: The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice?

I am an artist. I am a musician. I am an athlete. I am a scholar. But what I know I will always be is a Rhode Islander. No matter where I go, no matter what path I choose to take in life, I will always be a Rhode Islander. In my state, as in any other place on the planet, we are defined by our values. Our most prominent value is written clearly on our state flag: hope. The word is made of four simple letters that Rhode Islanders seem to take very seriously. It comes from the phrase in the bible, "Hope we have as an anchor of the soul." In my town of Narragansett, it means something to every member of the community, as hope is what brings us together.

In the 1800s, before the bustling casino in my town burned down, there was a coast guard station right on the coastline. Years later, in 1945, the station opened as an ocean side restaurant: The Coast Guard House. It has been an iconic symbol of Narragansett ever since. Less than fifty years after its initial opening, Hurricane Bob hit Rhode Island and destroyed the restaurant in 1991. The first floor was flooded and the structure was torn down by violent, crashing waves. Community members came together in support to get the restaurant running again. The owners of the restaurant decided to rebuild the restaurant to be better than ever and the members of my community were able to once again see their beloved Coast Guard House everyday on the way to work and school again.

This was before I was born but again in 2012, the Coast Guard House suffered the same fate as in 1991. Hurricane Sandy came forcefully up the east coast this past October and leveled our coastline. The seawall put up to keep waves off of the land was destroyed, many feet of our beach was washed out to sea, and the beach road was covered in a foot of sand and debris, nearly 50 feet away from the shoreline. The day after the storm, as the sun was rising, my family and I traveled to the pier in the center of town to see the damage along the coast of our town. It seemed as if the whole town was gathered there to do the same. What everyone began to realize was that the Coast Guard House was severely damaged again. Chairs from the dining room were found floating two streets over, the windows were shattered, and the kitchen freezer was floating in the main dining area. Our town was devastated but the symbol of our community that we had come to know and love was ruined.

For the first time in my life, I saw what it meant for a community to come together. College students came home to assess the damage and people from all around town congregated towards the pier to help restore Narragansett. Never once did we lose hope. Hope is what brought us together in optimism that we could rebuild our town. Now, the Coast Guard House Restaurant is on its way back to its original state. Everyday on the drive to and from school, I see crews working to build back the seawall, fix the beach and restore the town. Never once did I doubt that together, we could build back our beach and our home. In the past couple of months, every person in my community, including myself has represented what a true Rhode Islander is - a person filled with faith and hope. From picking up trash and debris on the beach, to helping neighbors repair destroyed homes, I have been humbled by the spirit of those around me and those who make up the culture in which I live.

When I was old enough to realize the effects of natural disasters in Rhode Island, I completed Incident Command Training through the Incident Command System courses offered through FEMA. When Hurricane Sandy hit, I stepped in to help my town recover. I know what it means to be a part of a community and provide assistance when it is needed. I have seen how residents of an area can come together to build each other up and become stronger. Houston and Galveston are two regions that know what it is like to experience natural disasters and come together as a community. From housing Hurricane Katrina victims to suffering their own damages in the past few years from hurricanes such as Ike and Rita, just to name a few. Houston is a community that lives by the Rhode Island motto of hope and what it stands for. Community members there know that hope can bring a group of people together and strengthen them.

Thomas Friedman in The World Is Flat expressed that in order to succeed, one needs hope and opportunity. My community and the community at Rice University know what it means to have hope. Rice University provides the opportunity needed to succeed. My culture and my experiences have taught me what it means to be part of something bigger than myself and I will carry that with me no matter where I go in life. Using the hope that I have for a brighter future, I can push myself harder to succeed and help others to do the same. Just as I have come together with those in my town, I can come together with my peers in college to become a strong unit that works hard towards success. This drive that comes as a result of optimism and a sense of community is stronger than just simple motivation alone. The strong drive that is found and developed within Rice students is clearly evident through their success. With a little bit of hope and a stronger bond between peers, the success and drive could be even further enhanced.

Today, sitting at a funeral for the father of one of my good friends, a Rhode Island State Police Officer, I saw embossed on every badge of every other officer the word "HOPE" in the RI Coat of Arms. Once again the community came together in hope and strength. I felt as if every person in the room, in addition to the police officers, needed a badge that said hope on it, for every person there embodied what it means to have hope. I come from a strong culture that exemplifies these values and no matter where I may end up, I will carry them with me as a member of this culture. I may be an artist, musician, athlete and scholar, but because of where I come from, I am a dreamer and with hope and opportunity, I can be an achiever. I am the true meaning of what it means to be a Rhode Islander and maybe in the future, I will be a Rice owl.
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