I would really appreciate feedback, especially on grammar and vocab.
Thanks a lot
Topic : Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.
Essay:
Spaghetti cooking instigated the exploration of the new
I was comfortably lying on our fabric couch in the living room, watching TV. Suddenly my stomach rumbled. Once more I was at home by myself and my mom hadn't prepared any food for me. Annoyed I arose from my beloved spot and torpidly strolled over to the kitchen to make myself some spaghetti. I filled the pot with some ice cold water, since it would boil the soonest. At least that is what physics class taught me. I threw some salt in and turned up the stove. Finally, I added the last ingredient: spaghetti. Then I made my way back to the cozy place in the living room that I had left just minutes before.
About twenty minutes later I flexed shocked. I had forgotten the spaghetti! Instantly I dashed over to the kitchen just to find the stove in a mess. The whole water and the foam had spilled over. I was annoyed by my oblivion. It already happened so many times, and now it happened again!
Instantly, I decided that I wouldn't put up with this recurrent quandary anymore. I would find an answer to all my spaghetti cooking problems! However, as web didn't seem to offer an applicable solution, I decided to come up with my own method of preventing the water from spilling over.
Excitedly I explored the web to find out everything that there was to know about the cooking of noodles. As my research turned me into an expert in the field of pasta making, I finally came up with the answer! I already thought of this device as a potential foundation of a small future business.
I liked the idea of my own business. Therefore I soon found myself entangled in different topics like engineering, microeconomics and product production. Since, I found out that the web was the best way for marketing purposes, I even educated myself in programming languages html, java script, css, and php and even stumbled across c++. I learned a lot during this period, however, there is still much more to learn to put this solution into practice and to start my own company!
You never actually told us about what your device is. It leaves us wondering whether or not you actually came up with something.
By the way, you can totally prevent bubbling over by placing a wooden spoon over the top of the open pot.
I like the unique take you took on the prompt! It's very creative!
However, I feel like some of your wording is somewhat awkward, such as "I wouldn't put up with this recurrent quandary anymore". Given the natural flow of the rest of your essay, this seems a bit out of place. Also, I would change " I was annoyed by my oblivion" into "obliviousness" or "carelessness".
Please read mine? :)
Well, putting a wooden spoon on top of the pot never really helped. It makes things better, but never
entirely prevents the foam from spilling over.
thanks for the help....
will certainly consider the points made
So, what was your invention then? You still haven't told us!! You're leaving your reader not with a sense of mystery or wonder, but rather with deep frustration. If you don't want to "give away" your idea here, I would greatly advise you put it in for your Stanford readers.
I think that is is really creative but I agree that you need to put in your idea. I think it answers the question very well. Good luck!
yeah.... I'll mention it on the stanford app :)
At least that is what physics class taught me.
Sorry, but I don't think that's right. This article explains it better than I can:
scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=is-it-true-that-hot-water
alright... I'll change that part... thanks for pointing this out
