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Posts by bzn456
Joined: Dec 29, 2012
Last Post: Dec 29, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  

From: United States of America

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bzn456   
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / I'm from a family that attends church every SundaUnitarianism Scripps/environment [2]

Hi this just needs some line editing and grammar things
Prompt: Describe the environment you come from-family, community, and/or culture-and tell us how that has helped to shape the person you are or want to become.

I come from a family that attends church every Sunday. We are Unitarian Universalists. The congregation is united not by ideas forced upon us, but the common search for spiritual growth and understanding of faith. In the Unitarian equivalent of Sunday school, we spent most of our time learning about other religions, visiting temples and synagogues. The emphasis was not on defining Unitarianism but exploring what it could mean. The study of other religions culminates in a coming of age called the Challenge program. In ninth grade I was picked my favorite adult in the Church, my teacher, Janet, to advise me. I spent a year exploring my spirituality and writing a thesis on my belief, be it Unitarianism, Judaism or Kabbalah. At the end of the year, I presented in front of the church, a literal "This I Believe Essay." My thesis was "my faith is like a tiramisu" unable to peel apart the delicious layers of my faith and the essence was that I wanted to stick with Unitarianism.

My journey to this conclusion has made me who I am. I came to my own decision to affirmed my belief in the core principles of Unitarianism. My journey is reflected in the principle of promoting "a free and responsible search for truth and meaning," but after beginning my journey in haste, I am at temporary peace, slowing down to celebrate the affirmation of "justice, equity and compassion in human relations." I have taken steps as the leader of our church youth group to promote environmental justice within our congregation and the larger community. Unitarians recognize the injustice that American's produce the most greenhouse gas yet due to our resources, are most immune to the effects of global climate change. Unitarian Universalism has made me the advocate for those who feel the brunt of injustice in today's world.
bzn456   
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / "Wake up, son; daddy's brought you a present." /University of Colorado Boulder [3]

"Wake up, son; daddy's brought you a present." Those were the words that my mom whispered to my ear as I was drowsily trying to get up*tried to get up* . Rubbing my eyes, I immediately noticed my father unpacking a rather *more specific descriptive language, maybe enormous?* huge box and thought to myself, "What kind of a present could it possibly be?". What came out of the box left me awe-struck*move this to after the reveal so as not to give it away, take the reader on your same emotional journey* . It was a computer - a miraculous device that I had never previously seen or used. It piqued my interest straight away, so I went on to *just say urged or be more descriptive, say begged or pleaded, use powerful verbs instead of adjectives* urge my father to connect the peripherals and plug it in as fast as he could. Once he turned on the device, I felt as if I had been submerged into an entirely new world - and indeed it was so* unnecessary, the previous clause states that* .

I was merely ten years old when all this occurred, so the computer has played a vital role in my development as a person. It turned out that I had a precocious talent for computing *be more specific, programming, web design?* , which helped me grasp the basic concepts quickly and proceed to delve into the more advanced ones. By*In doing so is the proper idiom* doing so, I was able to keep my ever-growing appetite for knowledge satiated and excel as a student during both elementary and high school*how about "throughout elementary school into high school"* . Furthermore, due to computing's intrinsic connection to mathematics, I soon developed a 'passion for numbers,'no quotes necessary, own it because the essay is about you...* which has helped me progress academically in a quite eclectic manner.

It is a well-known fact that the world of computing would not be nearly as intriguing had it not been for the phenomenon known as the Internet. Confucius once said, "How happy we are to have friends from afar," and that is exactly where the Internet has come into play. I have spent my entire life in the minuscule town of Delchevospecify country to give you further context ; a town whose citizens are bound by tradition and fettered by culture. In a society where diversity is practically nonexistent, embracing other cultures as if they were your own is deemedunnecessary, it is implicit in your writing, which is good thing iconoclastic and unorthodox, yet, I dared *to* do it. By meeting people from other countries and becoming acquainted with their cultures while still valuing my own, I'vedo not use contractions in a supplement managed to create an amalgamate of both the traditional and the cosmopolitan - and that is something I take great pride in.

By pursuing a career in computer science at the University of Colorado Boulder, I will strive to take advantage of all the opportunities that would otherwise be unavailable to me. That includes great possibilities for learning and improvement, extracurricular activities and voluntary*volunteer work or volunteering* work. Moreover, the sole chance of living in a diversified environment and meeting hundreds of new people would mean the world to me, as that is where the whole beauty of life is contained. I only hope to bring along my unique values as well as my aspirations to conquer the unknown and expand my horizons even further. overall a good and meaningful essay that highlights your talents, good luck!
bzn456   
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / Essay on Bill McKibben ; McKenna/ Leadership [3]

Prompt: Leadership is a constant theme and emphasis at CMC. One way CMC emphasizes leadership is through the Athenaeum Speaker Series, which enables CMC students to dine with leaders from a wide range of fields every weeknight during the academic year. Recent speakers have included authors, activists, entrepreneurs, scientists, professors, politicians, and more. If you could invite anyone to speak at the Athenaeum, who would you choose and why?

I would invite the environmental activist, Bill McKibben, to speak at the Athenaeum. He is a leader in his field. As a journalist, author and founder of the grassroots movement, 350.org, he would certainly have some wisdom on national leadership to share with the community at Claremont McKenna.

I first found out about Bill McKibben through a link to his website, 350.org, on my friends Facebook page. Bill McKibben is in his 50's, my parents age, yet he has a grasp on how to use social media to grab engage younger generations. Moreover, he turns 350.org's Facebook "likes" into real life action. The website is captivating and well designed, grabbing attention with startling, in-your-face facts and figures and moving that attention to more important concepts. For example, he chose he number 350 is the parts per million of CO2 that is sustainable. The current level is 392 ppm, allowing the user to look into solutions to this problem on the website.

Scrolling through his website, I was impressed by the accomplished initiatives that went beyond raising awareness. I followed his campaign to block the Keystone XL Pipeline. The pipeline would funnel tar sands, which produce more pollution in their refinement than any other source of crude oil, from Canada to Nebraska. The oil company, TransCanada, claimed the project would increase energy security and create American jobs when in fact, much of the oil would be exported and it would kill more jobs than it would temporarily create according to a study by Cornell University. In response, McKibben took action and organized members of 350.org as well as everyday concerned citizens and encircle the White House in protest. Although the fight still goes on, the protest was a success and President Obama delayed the approval of the Keystone Pipeline until 2013.

Inspired by his actions, I started a chapter of 350.org at my school in Exeter, NH to participate in future demonstrations. In the process of setting up the group I discovered McKibben's bottom-up approach to leadership that unites individual, local activists in chapters then further unites each chapter under global initiatives. He grants autonomy to the local chapters and simply trusts they will get involved in national protests. The website shows his masterful connection between scattered local communities and international issues. I was excited to add photos from a 350.org protest my chapter participated in called Connect the Dots. When I was uploading, I saw a series of local demonstrations across the globe, just like ours, holding up painted circles or "dots" to highlight the connection between individual extreme weather and global climate change. There were pictures of my group waving "dots" about the lack of winter snow or the tornadoes in New Hampshire in a slideshow right next to pictures of a chapter in Salvador, Brazil with dots calling attention to the rising sea levels affecting their property and livelihoods. The pictures were powerful and truly connected the dots of local weather events to create a captivating picture of climate change and its jarring effect on human lives.

Bill McKibben's ability to unite people beyond a Facebook page and produce action makes his one of the most important environmentalists of our time, having organized 15,000 rallies in 189 countries since 2009. His wisdom on creating an enormous movement and breaking it down into smaller initiatives with heavy impact, accessible to anyone with a computer, could be instrumental in launching the careers of the future leaders Claremont McKenna hopes to produce.
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