Undergraduate /
One name became the center of my world - Haruki Murakami; Hamilton Sup [2]
In the year before I came to the States, my obsession with reading books, which had been extinguished for unknown reasons ever since I entered junior high, revived. One name became the center of my world-Haruki Murakami, almost all of whose works I later read. Although often cast into the margins of society, the protagonists of his fictions faithfully stake their identity on a spirit of rebellion and pursuit of freedom. From them, having long suffered isolation from my peers and lack of acknowledgement, I gained consolation and even assurance. "Be autonomous," I told myself. "Don't worry about success or productivity; just be truthful to your soul." Incontrovertibly believing in the idea, I even used it as a criterion to judge people. In my opinion then, a person without individual autonomy was nothing but a walking zombie, numb and worthless.
Everything changed as I diversified my reading after I came to the States. I found a despaired salesman who commits suicide to gain insurance payments for his children, a black housewife who buries all her dreams and desires out of her loyalty for her husband, a strong-willed woman who devotes a hundred years of her life simply to the prosperity of her family... Surprisingly, I found that I couldn't despise them, which I would have done before, for the poverty of their individual autonomy. Instead, I found them unimaginably brave. I didn't know why, not until my Psychology teacher introduced me the model of PERMA (Seligman)--Positive emotions, Engagement, Relationship, Meaning, Achievement. I had overvalued the importance of engagement. Although those things altogether make a good life, people have their own penchants. Some autonomous people, like me, care mostly about the engagement of their lives; others care for something else-like relationships, achievement and contributions to the world. It's presumptuous of me to have despised people who held beliefs that were different from mine.
I believe that the diversity of my personal readings and the classes I have taken have opened the once narrow-minded me. Although I have decided to pursue a career as a writer, my interest in natural sciences has faded. Recently, as I was reading some introductory writings about John Rawls, Immanuel Kant, and John Stuart Mill, I was totally stunned by their illuminating ideas. Since Hamilton doesn't have distribution requirements, I can enjoy the freedom to further delve into my interests, old and new, instead of simply focusing on my major. Maybe some time later, when I look back, I will once again find out how constrained I am now.
There's a specific program that I find quite appealing-ACC Summer Field Studies Program. Ever since I climbed the Mount Gongga three years ago with my dad, I have planned to spend the year after my college graduation supporting education in Tibet. It's not only because I was struck by the herdsman's daughter's narration about how insufficient the educational resources there were, but also because I have always wanted to spend one of my best years simply with nature. I know that there must be a long way between a student and a teacher; this program can offer me some opportunities to practice becoming a teacher.
Last but not least, as I'm obsessed with outdoor sports, running and biking, college's situation and environment matter a lot to me. Surrounded by endless greens, Hamilton offers numerous wonderful trails. Besides that, as a result of its northern location, the temperature in Hamilton is always cool, which is the best for running and biking.
