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Posts by mnunez1107
Joined: Jan 1, 2013
Last Post: Jan 1, 2013
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Posts: 6  
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From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 6
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mnunez1107   
Jan 1, 2013
Undergraduate / Born in USA as a Muslim/ U MICH; COMMUNITY ESSAY [3]

I dont think you need this:
"a lot of people leave their homes as soon as they turn eight-teen to start their own new life and only visit their parents once in a while. but as soon" its irrelevant and it doesnt distinguish your community because that usually happens in every community.
mnunez1107   
Jan 1, 2013
Undergraduate / Central American immigrants and American Dream - Columbia Supp. 2 [7]

I think you should be more detailed about what is it that makes you fascinated by the library. Go straight into you being a reader. "access to international knowledge must also be phenomenal." change the must also be to "is phenomenal" I feel like you're being a little bit of a brown noser and it happens even if you dont mean to do it. Ive done that too before. Towards the end I would make it more about you.
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