Undergraduate /
Breaking the glass ceiling amongst women in Engineering - UofT Engineering SPF [4]
I believe engineering is a powerful field.
I dont think this flows in the context of the surrounding sentences
I was not crazy about your intro to the video.. maybe you can say like your parent's encouragement and research has fortified confidence... One source that ressonted with me was...
I have always had a determined spirit, an inquisitive mind and a fervent goal to break the glass ceiling associated with women in such fields like engineering.
I dont know...it just does not ring. That has not always been you goal, to break the ceiling...maybe the video galvanized you to see the ceiling as a challenge and installed excitement to break through it rather than being intimidated by it
It not only has a world-class reputation amongst universities, but also because has a long history of encouraging and providing opportunities for women in all areas of study especially engineering (via pre-university programs such as Engineering Saturdays for Girls).
I think you can leave world class out since its not relevant, they already know its great. this will allow you to focus on their opportunities for women. no parenthesis since the program is important, its an example
Programs like these are intended to motivate girls to explore engineering and to show the University's commitment towards empowering women and this has had the deepest impact on me as it proves that women are regarded equally in this field.
its a mouthful. too much info in one sent. also the uni is taking steps to make women be regarded equally, you might want to change that sentence.
So I will like to know why Uni of Toronto. what attracted you to the school? out of the many schools, why do you want to study there?
good luck