Research Papers / Struggling with/unsure about research paper based on social anxiety/phobia [2]

Just quickly throwing some stuff out there:

1. Social media replaces physical social interaction (negative)
2. Social media fosters the ability to create multiple friendships (such as having 500 friends) and anxiety occurs from attempting to maintain so many "friendships"

I like the topic - think it has great potential.

Graduate / "If you could wish for one thing, what would it be?" ;SOP/Choice of career [3]

What I'm confused about is the topic. Is this essay supposed to be "If I had one wish" or is this supposed to be a statement of purpose?

If the prompt is SOP, then your essay answers that. However, if it is supposed to answer "If I had one wish" then it doesn't.

By the way, your writing is better than some I know who speak English as their first language, so kudos there!

Undergraduate / "If you could wish for one thing, what would it be?" ; Whitman College Essay [5]

or would my wish be nothing but a waste? (Or)

Females in Africa are view as nothing more than child-bears. (viewed) (child-bearers)

Most parents don't education their girls' children, not because they don't have it, but because they believe it's a waste of money, and instead makes profits from their child through arrange marriages. (their female children?) (could be two sentences) (make a profit) (arranged)

*You write that you have grown up in West Africa, so I'm going to guess that you've seen this. I would try to work some of that personal experience in there.

I like your opening, it made me want to keep reading!

Undergraduate / My family had sacrificed so much; Why I want to transfer [3]

My mom and I packed up our whole lives and move across the country (moved)

However, although (kind of awkward, maybe just Although or Even though)

From what I've seen and heard, (I would stick with what you've personally experienced, not what you've heard)

I really like it. You're not afraid to take a huge risk, you acknowledge the facets of your current college that are disappointing and why that would be different at W&M.

I would print this out and read it over a couple of times, out loud, so you get a feel for how it flows. Also, you will notice if you've made grammatical errors.