Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by S0heil
Joined: May 16, 2013
Last Post: May 20, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 7  
From: Islamic Republic of Iran

Displayed posts: 9
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S0heil   
May 20, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Changing jobs and living places - Good or Bad? [5]

I would like to illustrate some positive effects on the society in the second paragraph.

I suggest you just mention that you are going to talk about some unimportant positive effects of changing the job.
And I think your result will be depend on how strong can you support your point of view.
I hope you will get a great mark on your IELTS exam!
S0heil   
May 20, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL : which on do you prefer? serious movies or amusing movies [6]

Thank you very much for your helpful point Nancy Quan!

overall u have a well organized essay with reasons that are not very strong. yet u can work on it and make it better..

Thanks junisha rai for your help! It is so motivating :) I'm working on it for improvement
S0heil   
May 19, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL : which on do you prefer? serious movies or amusing movies [6]

However, the preferences for the types of movies differ among people. Some people love to watch amusing movies that are more focused on entertaining people. Some prefer to watch serious movies that are rich in aesthetic value.

Thanks for your helpful suggestion, it will be really useful to me
S0heil   
May 19, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL : which on do you prefer? serious movies or amusing movies [6]

Nowadays, watching movies has become profoundly common among the people. However, there is a lack of agreement among the people, on what kind of movie should be watched. Although some people believe that watching serious movies are more beneficial, others prefer to spend their time watching entertaining movies. In my opinion, serious movies are more desirable and useful, because of following two reasons.

First, serious movies always help us learn something new. Obviously, learning new things throughout a movie leads to improve the quality of life among the people. For example, there are many movies about the relationships between people in a society that can be useful for communicating with others. Also, some documentary movies about our body health help us to care more about ourselves. In addition, someone who is foreigner in a country, would be able to enhance his language and communicating skills by watching movies about the culture and living conditions in that country.

The second reason is that when we watch a serious movie it makes us feel that we have spent our time on something valuable and useful. Undoubtedly, it is very important for a person to feel satisfied about the movie, and it would happen when he knows that the movie was worth to watch. For an instance, an entertaining movie may cause you feel happy during the film, but after watching it, you may feel worried about wasting your time. On the other hand, a serious movie makes you improve your knowledge, and you know that something you learnt, would lead you to overcome your problems in the future.

In conclusion, according to the justifications I made, I do believe that serious movies are more beneficial, because they help us to learn something new and useful, and also, they make us feel satisfied about spending time for watching the movie.
S0heil   
May 19, 2013
Writing Feedback / With the assistance of technology, students will learn faster and assimilate more knowledge. [3]

To encapsulate, students being accessible to necessary information easier and more electronic community forum for students to discuss drive me to advocate that with the assistance of technology, students will learn faster and assimilate more knowledge.

To encapsulate, helping students access necessary information easier than before, and also, many electronic community forums for students in which they can discuss about different issues, drive me to advocate assistance of technology.

I suggest you try to use more comma in your essay.
S0heil   
May 16, 2013
Writing Feedback / I strongly disagree that money is the most important aspect of a job ! [3]

Nowadays, every person looks for a benefit in a business. However, there is no agreement among the people, about what should be considered as the most significant aspect of a career. Although some people believe that earning money is the only reason for a job, others prefer to focus on the other aspects of a job. I certainly disagree with the statement that money is the most important aspect of a job, because of two following reasons.

Firstly, the experiences, which we obtain during an occupation, are more important than the money. Obviously, experience is something, that can help us to improve our skills, and as a result to promote in a profession. In addition, promoting and improvements are the factors that are responsible for our happiness. For an example, an employee, who contribute in different projects in a company, and try hard to become better in his job, feels more satisfied than a person, who always thinks about earning more money, without any improvement.

Another reason is that the environment and the atmosphere of a company should be considered more than financial affairs for an individual. Advances in science and psychology show that a suitable environment can affect a person positively, and makes him feel content about the occupation. For an instance, if someone works in a factory, in which there are a lot of controversy and disagreement, he will never feel satisfied about the work, in spite of the amount of salary is given. As a result, it can be inferred that monetary issues never can be replaced by high quality working conditions.

In conclusion, according to the justifications I made, in my opinion, the payment is not the most important factor for a job, because there are other factors that are more important than money for an employee, such as improvement; and also, he should pay more attention on the quality of work environment than financial issues.
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