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Posts by USNAGoal
Joined: Jun 29, 2013
Last Post: Aug 12, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 7  
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From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 9
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USNAGoal   
Aug 12, 2013
Essays / United States Naval Academy Essay; 'armed forces' [4]

Naval Academy

(1) Describe what led to your initial interest in the naval service and how
the Naval Academy will help you achieve your long range goals, and
(2) Describe a personal experience you have had which you
feel has contributed to your own character development and integrity.

Main Goal: Seals

1) Initial interest
- Navy Seals
- I loved the campus
- Seemed like a challenge that would be fun to take on
- prestegious school
- I especially like the 'Honor' codes and concepts that are emphasized.
The unique education, "moral, mental, and physical",
made me want to attend an academy versus going
through a [N]ROTC program at another school.
- Not a slack college or a joke college
*- This school would prepair me more than any other school to become what i want to be

2) Personal experience that has changed your own character development and integrity
- Swimming in general
- Dad going on tours when younger
- Switching teams

For as long as I can remember I have had the desire to serve my country in the armed forces. My father, being in the Army, has always pushed me to the Army side of

things. My dad has supported me with every decision I have made in my life, he repeatedly reminds me to not give in to complacency and to strive to be the best and my

opinion of the best is the navy seals. After hearing about the naval academy from a senior at my high school I did some research and took the tour with my dad shortly

after. About half way into the initial hearing I realized that the naval academy was probably my best bet at getting where I want to be in the next 10 years of my

life.

help please!!!
USNAGoal   
Jul 27, 2013
Writing Feedback / When students move to a new school, they sometimes face problems. [2]

The problem with your reasoning is that most schools have sports year round that almost anyone can participate in. I think that maybe there should be a program ran by students that welcomes students into the school and show them around. Someone could be assigned a new student and show him around the school and bring him into conversations with his friends so that he doesn't feel left out. Your other reasoning I don't really understand, rewrite some and i'll help you again.
USNAGoal   
Jul 27, 2013
Writing Feedback / Which is more important to you?A Business Or A House [6]

Give more specific reasons why purchasing a business would be better than purchasing a house. You gave one example but it was an obvious one, try to get more in depth.
USNAGoal   
Jul 27, 2013
Essays / Getting nomination for Naval academy [3]

I am seeking a nomination largely because receiving this nomination would be a large step closer to a goal that I have had since I was younger. This goal is to become a United States Navy Seal, they in my opinion are among the top soldiers in the United States.

^^^^ ** This is what i have trouble with**---- I don't know how to state my goal of navy seals in a different and unique way...

I feel that it's not about just simply being qualified: it's about exceeding the qualifications. I feel like that is what I do as an applicant. I have become a great self-motivator and I am determined not just to meet the standards that are placed in front of me but to surpass them and in turn become a better person.

** the last question I don't really know how to put it in there, I want to become a commissioned officer because my dad inspired me and i can't see myself doing another job.**
USNAGoal   
Jul 22, 2013
Essays / Getting nomination for Naval academy [3]

in 200 words or less, please address the following questions:

Why are you seeking a nomination?
Why do you feel that you are qualified?
Why do you want to be a commissioned officer?

----------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------

Now I have always wanted to be a Navy seal or at least live up to my father who has been in the army for the last 26 years, he has inspired me to want to be the best i can and join the army, i feel like i am a very qualified individual but i am not the best writer.

here is what i have so far... if someone could help me through writing this i would be thankful.

I am seeking a nomination largely because receiving this nomination would be a large step closer to a goal that I have had since I was younger. I feel that it's not about just simply being qualified it's about exceeding the qualifications and I feel like that is what i do as an applicant.
USNAGoal   
Jul 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS:Good members of society - Who's Responsible? [4]

You have a good amount of grammar and spelling issues to fix. I will help you with some of them now.
- Organizations
Also in this line: First of all, school is the first place where children obtain formal education, including knowledge about nature as well as culture and researching skills.

Change to: First of all, school is the place where children FIRST obtain a formal education, including knowledge about nature, culture and researching skills.

Chance this line: Pupils are taught how to learn the alphabet in phonetic sound form and write simple sentences right in the primary school.
To something like this: Pupils are taught in primary schools to learn the alphabet through phonetic sound and writing simple sentences.

Recheck your grammar and then post again and I will reread and help you out.

- Flakah
USNAGoal   
Jul 21, 2013
Essays / United States Naval Academy Essay; 'armed forces' [4]

For as long as I can remember I have had the desire to serve my country in the armed forces. My father, being in the Army, has always pushed me to the Army side of things but I have always had the mind set to be best and in my opinion the best is the Navy Seals. After visiting the Virginia Military Institute with my father I realized that military based schools are some of the top tier schools in the country. Knowing that I wanted to be a Navy Seal I talked to a senior on my old swim team that applied and got accepted to the Naval Academy. He told me it was by far the best school he visited and the swim team was amazing. I did some research and then talked to my dad about visiting and we planned to visit one day that he was off work. When we first showed up I was already impressed with how beautiful the campus was and after the presentation I was even more impressed.

This is what I have so far, any suggestions?
USNAGoal   
Jun 29, 2013
Essays / United States Naval Academy Essay; 'armed forces' [4]

I have started my essay and I would like some help finishing it or any advice!

1) Describe what led to your initial interest in the naval service and how the Naval Academy will help you achieve your long range goals, and

(2) Describe a personal experience you have had which you feel has contributed to your own character development and integrity.

My start:

For as long as I can remember I have had the desire to serve my country in the armed forces. My father, being in the Army, has always pushed me twords the Army side of things but I have always

wanted to be one of the best and in my opinion the best is the Navy Seals.

My dad is in the army and i would like to write about how he inspired me to join the armed forces, but my goal is to become a Navy Seal because i enjoy a challenge.
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