Undergraduate /
the man who is the monster of nature ; Butterfly Cirsus [6]
I found out the meaning of life as Will,a ( the, you should use defined clause) main character of the film which is ( named BC is better) Butterfly Circus.He is a man who have no arms and legs.He was "the man who is the monster of nature.The man if you want to call him that.He was let down by the God" (Butterfly Cirsus),and the artist who performed was Nick Vujicic.He really has had a significant influence on me.
I lived ( position, in) a boring life during my childhood until the day when I knew Nick.I couldn't believe what Nick did to live a happy life with disability( you need an article) while I lived in fearness and disappointment.Ten years at the top position in class,I fall ( tense) down when I was in grade 11th for the worst result.At that time,I thought I could do nothing in the future.The first day when I walk in the door of class,I swore that I had to be the best student.Therefore,I studied hard night and day,but it was not as I expected( it was not as good as I expected) .My result was so ( too) bad because of my methods.I have just studied for reputation.I scared that my friends would comtempt me,so when I was failed,I really wanted to give up.I used to think that I would become a great doctor.My ideal ( ideal is adj) which is saving people's lives would come true,but I felt like the world againsted me.I cried and really knew what failure was.
Suddenly one day,I held Nick's book in my hands.I couldn't breath when I read about a special life.He wrote that "Dreams don't die as long as you hold them dear.Even when faced with the worst,do whatever you can to prepare yourself for the best.And,if you don't get a miracle...Become one !"(Nick Vujicic-Limitless).He is really the impressive gift that God brought to this world.He lived to made the others believe in themselves,and of course,believe in God.Then,I watched Nick's video when he prensented all over the world.I felt his strength,his dreams and his soul.I couldn't prevent (stop is better) my tears fall down my face.That was the first time I realized that people were born in this life magically( born magically, I think it is more fomal) .We came to make something specially.And ( and should not start a sentence) that was the God's unique order.I had to face challenges because God wanted me to be maturer and stronger to protect my dreams.Therefore,I have no reason to abandon.( give up is better, I think)
I studied again with my shadow beliefs,looking within and inside my heart to realized that I didn't need to win the others,I will win myself,instead.I studied for knowlegde,not for reputation.I know my own way clearly and how I should do to get closer my goals ( word order). I was conscious of having many people are looking forward a miracle while they are suffering illness,and the doctors will bring a brighter world to human life.They came and gave a gift of hope and inspiration.That is the real miracles.Therefore,I must always keep my dream burning with a strongest fire in my heart to make it come true.
Nick made me understand all of things.He is no arms,but he touched my heart,my soul and my thinking.He made me know that although I could never change my past,but ( although doesnot accompany with but) I could change my future by working ( I did not get it)today because nothing is impossible.I believe even when all people against me,God never do that.I can still stand on the top by the efforts.I will live today better than yesterday ( word order) and move forward the future.And when I was down and disappointed,like Nick was talking to me "If you're feeling alone, and your weariness has grown, look up above, and thank God for His love.There's nothing you can do, to change His love for you, hold on friend,it's not the end. Something beautiful will come, the clouds will part for the sun. But until then, you're not alone, He can make...
I THINK YOU TOLD A STORY, SO IT IS BETTER AND NECESSARY TO USE CORRECT TENSE: PAST TENSE, i DON'T KNOW WHAT TYPES OF YOUR ESSAY: IELTS... BUT I AM PREPARING IELTS EXAM, SO I THINK YOU GOT SOME SIMPLE MISTAKES LIKE ARTICLES, WORD ORDER, LINKING WORD... I HOPE MY COMMENT IS HELPFUL TO YOU. GOOD LUCK!
