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Posts by sepideh_dodaran
Joined: Aug 8, 2013
Last Post: Aug 9, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: Islamic Republic of Iran

Displayed posts: 6
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sepideh_dodaran   
Aug 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Gender Vs Career - Why some jobs are done by men and others by women/ [5]

Dear ntdang, your text was pretty good. you used so many good phrases and expressions. I am not very good at english but I write down the points that came to my mind. firstly, I want to tell you to pay more attention to your conclusion.

From past to now

I do not know but it does not sound good to me. may be you can use "during our lives" or " in the last decades"

this is right in job

instead of this you can use " and this can be generalized to their professional lives"

women certainly have to do

" had to do" you should use past time or it is better to say " used to do"

caring the children

" caring her children" by using a pronoun it looks like you make an interconnection between these two part of the sentence. once my teacher told me that it is really good by using apropriate proouns on conjunctions you make a relation between the parts of your context. also it is better to say " bring her children up"

Whereas, en can have sufficient time

you can say " they could spend their time to both their family and career", pay attention to the tense of your sentence

Equally importantly

it does not sound gramatically correct for me, I do not know why, may be because you wrote two adverbs following each other. you can say " last but not the least point is..."

I wrote for the same topic too. I would be happy to get your oppinion.

Thank you very much.
sepideh_dodaran   
Aug 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL; Gender differences and how they apply on jobs they do? [2]

Men and women are different in terms of charateristics and abilities . For this reason , some jobs are done by men and others by women

When I was younger, I was a real feminist, and this feministic view didn't let me to think of the differences between two genders properly. The time I faced these differences was when I finished my bachelor's degree. I was really disappointed because I had forgotten the importance of the social belief about a subject even more than the individual's idea. In my opinion, beside the differences between the characteristics of a man and a woman, culture is significant and mostly forgotten issue that defines the women's social life.

On one hand, I think if we think of a woman as an individual creature she would be able to take part in the same social activities that a man can does . A group of the people think you should not think of a woman as a weak creature that always need men's assist to continue hey way in her life. opposing with that group of people, I chose mechanical engineering which was, according to their idea, a proper major for the boys. In order to show their idea doesn't make sense in this modern era, I tried hard to be a successful engineer.

On the other hand, being frank , I change my mind in some ways. Because first of all, even becoming a very skillful engineer, I was considered a woman in the society and this would not change the social belief of a naive creature about me. Now I admit that I am not able to do hard stuff as a man in my situation would be able. What I mean is rather mentally than phisically. After marriage I understand that women need more peace in their life than the success that would make her husband jealous and would threaten her marital life. No matter how powerful woman you are, you always need to be supported emotionally from your husband and as far as you look more powerful than him, you would not receive the attention you were looking for. In my oppinion a woman can not be both a successful wife and worker.

Now I think, although I am a skillful and well-educated engineer, but there are some jobs that although I think I would do properly but I would not take. I need to find a job that would be more suitable for my major, my characteristics and my society's general belief. May be you would think of me as an old-minded woman, but I am speaking about the reality of living in a developing country about living situation. I do not ignore the women's ability to do their jobs properly, I am speaking the situation that is not in their hands. In order to change your society you should sacrifice your life, and I was not so much strong.
sepideh_dodaran   
Aug 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Governments can ensure all its people are educated by providing free education [5]

Dear posdream
It was very good, but I want to add just one thing.As far as I know, inwriting essays for TOEFL and IELTS exam you should try to bring the concept into yourlife and specialize your essay. I mean that although your writing was pretty good, but It was not special, because everybody can say the logical sentences about the topic. The important thing is that you write in the way that when somebody is reading your text, he would really understand that these are s.th that is your real idea about the topic. Maybe by giving some examples about your life experience or using expressions like "In my opinion", "on my side", " As far as I know"
sepideh_dodaran   
Aug 8, 2013
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Parents can help their children's life by asking them to take a job or not [7]

Dear Joyhu
I really loved your essay. The only problem that I can mention is about your introduction, which I ahve so much problems with. I think it does not really fascinate the reader, and in compare with the other parts of your writing, it was weaker. but you essay was pretty.

and also we say " I agree" not " I am agree"
thanks.

I need your help too.
sepideh_dodaran   
Aug 8, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL / How teachers can make the subject interesting to students( new)! [5]

Teaching is one of the most significant and impressive careers that a person can make. Beside the knowledge you teach to your students, you would play an effective role in his future life. Having an interested and passionate teacher could help the student to be attracted to a special field and can change his life. I have experienced the same thing.During my bachelor's degree, one of my university professor thought the subject so fascinating that it interested me, and I chose his major as my master's degree field of work, and it changed my lifestyle. As I would explain further, my experience shown that a teacher can make his students to love or hate his lessons. In my opinion there are some important factors to be a successful teacher.

Firstly, I think a passionate teacher would be more successsful in his duty, which is transferring the knowledge he knows about a subject into the students mind. It may be the most important factor, because when you are not interested in some thing, you can not help other people to understand it carefully. For instance, the professor, that I mentioned before, always used to speak so impressive about the subject he was teaching that you would feel that he has gone really through the meanings and take the subject into his real life, which in my opinion was the key point of being a good teacher.

Also using innovative methods for teaching would have incredible influence on the students, because all of us know that always new things would attract our attention. The teacher could use this characteristic of human beings to help the student to concentrate better on the subject. My be loved professor used such an interesting methods to teach us the boring subjects of "Fluid Mechanics" that not only me, but also all of the students in the class were looking forward through the week for his classes. Once he took us to the laboratory to just answer a simple question of a student, which if it was asked to another professor, he might make joke of his silly question. But he was so calm and eager to teach every simple and basic concept of fluid mechanics that spent an entire session to make it clear that for a fluid flowing inside a channel, the pressure of the coolant in the entrance is higher than the exit.

In conclusion, my experience shows that a good teaching pattern can attract any students in the class. When a person is choosing such a sacred job, by teaching passionately and using new methods , he can have a very good impression on the lives of each student. As I finish my PHD, I plan to be a university professor, and I would do my best to help my students to get even more skills than they planned to learn from the course.
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