Letters / Postive additon to your university; Reference letter-- Scholarship [2]

Dear everyone!
Can you see my reference letter for a student to get a scholarship. Do you mind correcting my grammar mistakes and structures. please help me as soon as possible!

Dear Sir/Madam...
I am writing this reference at the request of Le Phuong who is applying for...
I have known Le Phuong since I taught her class Pharmacy English last year. She was the monitor and I contacted with her class through her. She has completed all duties that I gave her with a care and highly concentration.

Although I only taught her for a year, I was impressed by her abilities and skills. Not only does she have a smart way to learn, but also she has a suitable timetable for social work and many activities at school. In my English class, she was always the one who first volunteered to answer my questions; whether it was wrong or right, I appreciated highly her spirit. Moreover, I was very attracted with a large number of new ideas that she presented in my periods. In addition, she usually supports her classmate with difficult exercises and she really has a good skill in team work.

In conclusion, I would highly recommend Le Phuong . If her performance in my class in any indication of how she'd perform in your position, Le Phuong will be a positive addition to your universities. If you should ever need any additional information you can contact me at ... Or by email ...

Sincerely,

Writing Feedback / Reasons for overweight children in developed countries... [4]

In recent years, obesity in children in developed countries has become a hot issue all over the world. Some people suspect the sharp rise of fast food market causes this, while others believe the main reason is the careless attitude of parents to their kids' health. I agree with 2 ideas and I will present more details in this essay.

As we can see, the consumption of fast food has accelerated and it is one of main reasons leading to the large number of overweight children. Fast food has spread steeply and constantly since it was first appeared. With various flavors from bread, meat to vegetables and peppers as well as its convenience, this dish attracts children a lot that a kid can eat at least 3 hamburgers each day. In fast food's ingredients, nearly three fourths of the ingredients are lipid and carbohydrates, which provide in excess of calories and less nutrients for bodies. As a result, if children consume fast food regularly, they can be overweight and lazy in physical activities. Moreover, overweight kids may not have enough nutrients for their mental development.

On other hand, many parents have not looked after their kids' diet, so it may also a main reason for overweight children. Busy work occupies almost the time of some parents so they can't spend on their kids' diet carefully. For example, instead of a meal with sufficient dishes, parents can buy their kids hamburgers or hot dogs that help them to save time reasonably. Therefore, many children are used to eating fast food after school, even at lunch or dinner.

In conclusion, I agree with the view that parents are the most responsible for their overweight children. Parents can prevent their kids from eating fast food despite its popularity and build a supplement diet their sons or daughters.

p/s: Please correct my mistakes and show me that! thank u very much...

Writing Feedback / IELTS:mobile phones have become a crucial part of human life [NEW]

Nowadays, mobile phones have become a crucial part of human life and are as popular as the internet. People have promoted more and more magic generations of a mobile phone since the first one was launched in 1967- Carry Phone. Beside a large number of advantages, mobile phones also pose some problems for users, especially relating to our health and our family life.

Thanks to mobile phones, people have solved in excess of work and saved time to spend on other activities. Firstly, surfing webs, downloading files, watching videos at anywhere are now easier for people while working, particularly searching information relevant to lessons or projects is highly necessary for students and officers. Instead of going home and surfing the net by a PC , it is more convenient to solve duties while driving or chatting with a smart phone providing a substantial number of things we need. Next, people around the world become closer by using apps of mobile phone which are improved by well-known manufacturers such as Samsung, Nokia, Black berry with better qualities and a rapid speed For instances, a person who lives apart from their home can talk and see images of his or her parents at the same time by using some software available in cell phones.

On the other hand, a non-stop development of mobile technology can cause some negative effects on our life. To regard with our health, most people usually bring and even hold mobile phones near them while sleeping, which is very hazardous to our brains, especially it can lead to injury permanent brain if we misuse them for a long time. Moreover, mobile phones make people lazier and more passive in completing some work they can do own themselves without equipments. For examples, many children are allowed to use mobile phones to search the result of a math question or a difficult essay, which may be not good for their creation and their positive thinking.

To sum up, mobile phones can assist us and also harm to us, depending on the way we use them. In total, We should let them help us, not replace us.

P/s: please correct my essay, the more careful correcting is, the more better my skill is...thank u very much!