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Posts by kumku
Joined: Sep 27, 2013
Last Post: Oct 7, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 7  

From: Mexico

Displayed posts: 9
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kumku   
Oct 7, 2013
Undergraduate / My stork got lost : my story [2]

this essay answers the promp "Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story."

the limit is 650 words (I am barely under it)

My stork got lost

I feel my mood brighten up when I see the blue and yellow flags through the bus window. As I walk inside, I wiggle my toes, in excitement. There is a display of chairs, draping one wall, and I feel at home.

However, I couldn't be farther away from home: I live in Mexico and came looking for the original IKEA all the way to Sweden.

I was born in the wrong country.

I am mesmerized as my teacher solves the equation, reorganizing numbers in mysterious ways. As I write down a new equation, I almost feel my neurons jumping in excitement: I found the "astuce", what my teacher calls the hidden step necessary to finding the solution. The bell rings, and I see my former history teacher walking out of the adjacent classroom. My neurons think the party is over.

In my sophomore year, I chose the science track. Unfortunately, this means I don't have history anymore. I fantasize of a Renaissance track, where one could study everything.

I was born in the wrong century.

" An arm was instantly around his neck. A savage noise in his ear. Sagra. How he missed her."
I feel my body pulsate as Froi is reunited with Quintana. I have waited for this scene all day, since they were separated at the end of the last book. Yet not even the adrenaline can keep me from noticing that the sky is black. It is at moments such as these that I wish I were a giraffe (they only need 2 hours of sleep per day).

I was born the wrong species.

I should have been born a Swedish "Renaissance giraffe". However, my stork got confused, and I ended up being born 5 centuries later, on the other side of the world, a human.

This might seem cause for despair, but I am grateful.

Living in one of the few countries that doesn't boast an IKEA, I was forced to design my room from scratch. However, since I live in Mexico, I had plenty of resources.

I always liked the IKEA exhibits, but not each object. So I decorated my dark green room with colorful objects, unlike the IKEA ones: I organized my collection of prints in a cloud, placed the Mexican-furniture from my childhood in the corners and filled my bookshelf with artisanal-Mexican toys. This is my favorite part, because it is placed in front of my bed, sending me cheer.

I think my room is better than an IKEA exhibit.

Because I grew up in the twenty-first century, I have some understanding of the atom, the brain, and genetics. I can also put mathematics to uses that were previously unthinkable. This is what I would like to do. For if knowledge is too vast nowadays for me to study every field, I can still be an expert in something and apply it to other fields. And even if I can't contribute to all fields with my expertise, I can easily take up my favorite subjects as hobbies.

So although I might not be a Renaissance "man", I can be a mathematician that helps neuroscientists and loves history.

I am human, so I can read, write and talk. I think it's compensates for having to sleep 6 hours a day.

I don't care that I couldn't fit the svelt IKEA lamp in my luggage, because I use IKEA as a source of ideas to deepen in my room. And I could only trust my own lamp to tolerate me as I flip the page, because I can't stop reading, and my book continues to give me energy. And I am glad I am not a giraffe, for I have 100 years to live and not 20. As I realize how lucky I am to live today and learn so much math, the neuron party resumes.
kumku   
Oct 1, 2013
Undergraduate / "The whole is greater than the sum of it"; 263 word -myself and diversity! [8]

I really like that you made your essay into a story,
but if you want to reduce the number of words, I think I would shorten the 4th or 5th phrase : "I can feel my heart thumping inside my neatly ironed dress. I can feel the droplets of sweats forming around my nostrils." because it only shows you're a good writer, and it takes up lots of words ( you can see you're a good writer in the rest of the essay).

Also I think the 5th paragraph is introduced too abruptly : "Ever since I held my mother's stethoscope..." and that you say more about that subject (about wanting to be a doctor)

good look and nice job!
kumku   
Sep 30, 2013
Undergraduate / "I tie my last knot," -Quilting: 150 Extracurricular Essay [3]

I really like your essay, I think you stand out as a very nice and persistent person
If I had to change something though, I might add something that made the quilting seem a bit more YOU, like some particular detail you like to add, so it's less focused on the organisation. Also you might want to continue your mother's story

good luck!!!
kumku   
Sep 30, 2013
Undergraduate / I hope to lead an academically demanding life; WHY GEORGIA TECH ? [7]

the limit is 150 words (I'm at 148!)
I am afraid it might be forgotten in the masses because it's not very original, any suggestions? or do you think I am not answering the question?


As a student at a small and demanding school, I dreamed of the University life: classes overflowing with students and professors teaching advanced math and science. However I soon realized, that only a few universities boast the science programs, rigorous coursework, variety of extracurricular activities and intellectual student body that I was looking for. Georgia Tech was one of them.

Gatech struck me because of its strength in the science department, the admirable work of professors Lobachev and Jiang and the variety of organizations it offers that appeal to me. I would indeed like to lead an academically challenging life at Gatech as well as join organizations such as: Club Math, to meet others thrilled with the beauty of mathematics; Acts Of Kindness; the Human Development Organization to tackle problems in the world; the Swim Club to compete for Gatech and C.H.E.F.S. to continue inventing and sharing recipes.
kumku   
Sep 30, 2013
Undergraduate / My Hampton University Autobiography Essay; 'As a young girl I always had big dreams...' [2]

nice essay!
I'm just not sure whether you should say so many stuff about your grades/courses and extracurriculars, cause you probably already said it in the application, and I think they want to hear new stuff, so for instance you could try to write a more detailed account of any of those subjects, or say something else about your life, that wasn't mentioned in your application

good luck (:
kumku   
Sep 30, 2013
Undergraduate / A Personality in Phases - Colorado College Supplement Essay [3]

Erikd
first of all, I really like your essay, and I do think it will stand out in the masses
however while the first part (up until when you discovered it) was real entertaining, I felt the rest was too long, and that you were mentioning unnecesary stuff. Because although it shows that you really did your research, and that you know a bunch about them, I don't think you really need to tell them that much about themselves (since they already know- I think they would prefer to learn more about you). So if you wrote it that long because there is a certain lenght you have to comply with, I would consider saying more about yourself, and if there is no necessary lengh, I would just reduce the second part

good luck!
kumku   
Sep 29, 2013
Undergraduate / I hope to lead an academically demanding life; WHY GEORGIA TECH ? [7]

I guess in the first phrase I was just trying to say that I am a good student and that I am used to big workloads, but I maybe it's off-subject.

I think i'll delete the 3rd phrase you quoted because it's also unnecessary.

So you don't think the fact that I list the organizations I like and the 2 professors I admire isn't enough to show that I am interested in them?

I made a new (shorter) version, what do you think?

As a student at a small and demanding school, I dreamed of the University life: classes overflowing with students and professors that taught the math and science that was always deemed too advanced for high school. However I soon realized, that only a few universities boast the reputed science programs, rigorous academic classes, variety of extracurricular activities and the intellectual student body that I was looking for. Georgia Tech was one of them.

Gatech struck me as unique because of its strength in the science department, the admirable work of professors Lobachev and Jiang and the variety of organizations it offers that appeal to me. I would indeed like to lead an academically challenging life at Gatech and join organizations such as: Club Math, where I hope to meet others thrilled by the beauty of mathematics; Acts Of Kindness through which I would like to spread joy; the Human Development Organization in which I would like to tackle world problems ; the Swim Club so I might compete for Gatech and C.H.E.F.S. to continue inventing and sharing recipes.
kumku   
Sep 27, 2013
Undergraduate / I hope to lead an academically demanding life; WHY GEORGIA TECH ? [7]

the subject is: Why are you interested in attending Georgia Tech and what do you hope to contribute to our community? and it has have a maximum of 150 words

however I wrote 250 words, so I would like to gat some feeback on what I should delete

here is my essay:

As a student at a very small and highly demanding school, I often dreamed of the University life my teachers would talk about. With the student overflowing classes and the professors that taught the math and science that was always deemed too advanced for high school. And yet the extensive amount of universities always scared me away from choosing the next big stage of my life. Until I realized, that not all universities boast reputed science programs, rigorous academic classes, a student body interested in intellectual life and a variety of non academic activities as well.

I hope to lead an academically demanding life at Gatech, for I enjoy pushing my limits, and I believe the buzz campus will offer just this, because of it's reputation in the science department and because of the admirable work of professors Kirill Lobachev and Lin Jiang.

I also look forward to joining Club Math, at the Georgia Institute of Technology, so that I might meet new people that are also thrilled by the beauty of mathematics. I would also be interested in joining less academically oriented organizations. Such as Acts Of Kindness through which I hope to make people happier; the Human Development Organization in which I would like to discuss how to solve world problems and put our plans in action; the Swim Club and Water Polo Club for I love swimming and Cooks for Heritage, Education, Fellowship, and Service because it is already a habit of mine to invent new recipes and to share them with others.

Do you think I am missing something?
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