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Posts by hungtho
Name: Hung Duc Tran
Joined: Oct 20, 2013
Last Post: Jul 12, 2014
Threads: 2
Posts: 10  

From: Viet Nam
School: bach khoa

Displayed posts: 12
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hungtho   
Jul 8, 2014
Writing Feedback / Some Certain jobs are suitable for men/women because of their capabilities [4]

For instance,mechanical factories where employees are required to move heavy tools which requires them muscles power

require word is repeated you should replace it with some thesaurus, and in my opinion, heavy tool cant require the employees, it is the requirement of hard job.
hungtho   
Jul 8, 2014
Writing Feedback / The bar chart below shows the production of the world's oil in OPEC and non-OPEC [5]

Well, it is better that you have these parts separated in your essay - Introduction, Overview and the Body Parts. Accordingly, the second sentence of the above should move into the overview section. In the introduction, you should introduce the image presentation. In the overview, describe the main observations and trends very briefly. Do not have details there like figures and other data. They should go to the detailed paras.

Actually, I always try to write follow your structure your mentioned. In this essay,

the first sentence,

Given is a graph illustrating past, present, and future data about the production of world's oil on OPEC and non - OPEC countries.

I introduce the figure.

the second sentence

It is evident from the information supplied that the amount of oil production in the OPEC Middle Eastern countries is predicted to increase considerably. In stark contrast, oil production in else where is likely to fall.

I present the main observations and trends of the graph.
I think that my words in this essay it is not clear to express my idea. So, you can give me some examples which are better. Thanks you in advance.
hungtho   
Jul 4, 2014
Writing Feedback / The bar chart below shows the production of the world's oil in OPEC and non-OPEC [5]

Given is a graph illustrating past, present, and future data about the production of world's oil on OPEC and non - OPEC countries.

It is evident from the information supplied that the amount of oil production in the OPEC Middle Eastern countries is predicted to increase considerably. In stark contrast, oil production in else where is likely to fall.

Between 1980 and 2000, most of world 's oil came from non-OPEC nations with approximately 10 million barrels per day, while only two million units were produced by OPEC countries. Since then, the figures changed considerably, between 2000 and 2010, the number of oil barrel in the OPEC Middle Eastern countries climbed rapidly from 2 million to almost 8 million per day, a rise of about 6 million barrels. Likewise, the oil production in the other countries in OPEC rose dramatically with almost 6 million barrels per day and the rest is provided by non-OPEC countries.

It is worth to notice that forecasters predict that oil production in the world will be stable between 2010 and 2020; a lot more of this oil is expected to come from the Middle Eastern OPEC countries, and only under 5 million barrels per day from the other areas.

P/s: Thanks you for reading my essay in advance.




hungtho   
Jul 2, 2014
Writing Feedback / [IELTS TASK 1] Personal savings in five countries [4]

a steady upward

upward is an adjective.
So, in my opinion, you should change this sentence.
the percentage of personal saving in Germany also saw obviously in the post of reunification.
hungtho   
Jul 2, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS academic task one .. bar chart - coffee and meat consumption [5]

In my opinion, you should describe it in different ways.

People in USA consumed approximately 122 kg per human, which is the highest figures shown on the chart. Likewise, the number of kilograms eaten by person of some countries in Europe , namely France and Germany, was relatively large at around 85 and 72 kg, respectively.

By stark contrast, Japan was the smallest overall consumers with only 42 kg per person.
hungtho   
Nov 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / Given is a bar chart illustrating the amount of rice production in ten top nations in 1999 [9]

It's the first time I write a essay in here. Anyone can help me to check errors in my essay. Thanks you in advance.

Given is a bar chart illustrating the amount of rice production in ten top nations in 1999.

On particularly interesting fact highlighted by chart is that the major of ten top rice producing countries located Asian
area which had traditional about planting wet rice. We can also see that American is the smallest rice producing
of ten countries and only country outside Asia.

It is interesting to note that country with the highest population in the world is the highest of rice production.
Actually, from information provided by bar chart, China is the biggest of the amount rice producing in 1999,
reaching approximately 192.971 thousands of tons. Likewise, the second highest population is also the second rice production,
producing in the vicinity of 122.224 thousands of rice tons. Meanwhile, several developing countries like Malaysia, Thailand,
and Viet Nam achieved the rice yield in a midrange from 16 million to 27 millions of tons.

By contrast, the rice producing of both nations America and Philippines respectively are considerably smaller.
The former reaches mere 8.183 thousands of tons and the later only 10 millions of tons.
While the production of Japan is a little higher, at nearly 12 millions of tons.
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