Unanswered [9] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by midge
Name: Miriam Ridge
Joined: Oct 27, 2013
Last Post: Oct 27, 2013
Threads: 1
Posts: 8  
Likes: 2
From: United States of America
School: Lake Shore High School

Displayed posts: 9
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midge   
Oct 27, 2013
Undergraduate / Investigating the wonders of biology; University of Illinois App Essay - MAJOR [4]

Perhaps something along the lines of:
"Unlike other sciences, the findings of biological studies directly result from the pursuit to ensure (or promote) the welfare of human beings (or patients)." (I think this gets you down below 300 also, or at least quite near) That's all I've got. Good Luck :)
midge   
Oct 27, 2013
Undergraduate / Common App Essay - Garage sale as a place where I am content [3]

I agree with sthakur on the flow, it's like a little hiccup between the first and second paragraph and unfortunately I'm not really experienced enough to give advice in that area. But my god, that was beautifully written.
midge   
Oct 27, 2013
Book Reports / Hamlet and the Theme of Death! [7]

I would personally go with family, as it is the most prevalent theme in Hamlet (and most other Shakespeare plays.) If you own How to Read Literature Like a Professor, or have a means of getting it , do so. It literally saved my life and I've been using it for english projects for years.
midge   
Oct 27, 2013
Undergraduate / What I believe defines a great leader;Common app essay [6]

I wouldn't reuse their quote in the Essay; It makes it sound a tad bit cookie-cutter. Perhaps respond to their quote with a similar Quote (that is mainly stylistic- totally subjective/preference.) I would personally cut the last sentence of the first paragraph, as it makes the exact same point as the sentence before. May want to work a bit on the tense uniformity, but otherwise, a strong, well organized essay. Good Luck.
midge   
Oct 27, 2013
Undergraduate / Music - WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY? - Tufts Supplement [4]

I really enjoy your sentence structure. It is very imbued with voice. All in all a strong essay. (I'm applying to Tufts also. *Yay Jumbo*) Would you mind looking over my common app essay? It's sort of stream of consciousness, be forewarned.
midge   
Oct 27, 2013
Undergraduate / To see all of the little lights; Common App/ Where are you most content? [7]

Fireflies hang suspended in the underbrush like Christmas lights, celebrating the long-awaited dusk. The dimly-lit road lies before us. The streetlight, a lonely sentry keeping watch over the barren pavement, is nearly a mile away.

At times, words flow between us like water; we still are able to enjoy a companionable silence and the rarity of each other's presence. My best friend, my brother, is going off to school the day after tomorrow; this is how we find ourselves, walking down Sturgeon Point at 10pm.

After what seems like an eternity, we reach the railroad crossing. The lights aren't flashing- it's safe to go down along the double tracks and walk in the loose gravel. At first we laugh as we stumble over the rocks, but I'm nearly in tears ten minutes later because of the unexpected exercise my ankles are getting. I decide the relief outweighs the risk. So, for once in our lives, we act like reckless teens because we are invincible and young. Disregarding the evident danger, we mount the tracks and lunge from plank to plank.

The heat of the day is but a distant memory, but we've been here before. My leather jacket is satisfactory in its task of keeping out the nighttime chill as we swiftly move along the rails while exchanging quotes from our favorite authors. He tends to favor Oscar Wilde's "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." I prefer Virginia Woolf's "It is no use trying to sum people up."

The colors, dimly lit by moonlight, speed by faster than I can blink. Just as quickly as they appear, they disappear into the dark night. We jump the trench that separates the tracks from the woods. We've almost reached our destination. Just a short climb remains. We begin our steep ascent through rough bushes with thorns, receiving our share of cuts and scrapes.

We arrive at our final destination. There is a towering, graffiti-covered bridge at the top of the hill that overlooks the entire town. Looking out and breathing in the town, seeing the small world in which we live-it is all worth it; to see all of the little lights radiating out into the dark expanse, for a time I am content.
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