Writing Feedback / 'Jail time or community sevices work' - Ielts essay 02 [5]

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teahing sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, volunteer activities becomes popular in young community, especially in students community who from all the universities of country. Some people claim that those activities particularly free community service should be compulsory part of high school but the opposite argue that all of those should be spend for student, who have finished their high school. The young at high school ought to focus in studying, enhancing their knowledge. In my opinion, i partly agree with this view for some reasons bellows.

At the first place, In spite of making community sevices compulsory can improve student's attitude with society and they aware of their possibility with the unluckier people in life; they can not concentrate into their main mission: studying. Being gone with the fun activities from working for charity, giving a hand to their neighbourhood,... Make them want to join volunteer activites instead of going to school. They will you it to judge with his parents when their parents want they care more about getting knowledge.

Beside that, the fact that making unpaid community service will blur the way of student in choosing a job which follow them entire of their life later. Instead of have a dream of lawyer, doctor, engineerer, business man for the future; they just want to be a volunteerers, jump to different place; doing the job which is use less knowledge.

In conclusion, No matter how good an unpaid community service is, it can not guide you a a basic and professional job, you can not be expert in any major. Because of that, they can be unconfident. I suggest it just be a way for student to enjoy entertainment, not a compulsory subject/ part of high school student

Let's check words and grammar for me, thanks a lot!

Writing Feedback / IELTS; Studying a foreign language at primary school is very advantageous! [6]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than Secondary school.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In the globalizing world, studying a foreign language in general and English in particular play an important role to find a high salary job in society. That is the reason why a lot of parents let their children get used to foreign language at primary school. The others argue that it is better for children to begin their non - mother touge at Secondary school, when they are older, more mature in their thought. In my opinion, I subscribe to the view of former for some reasons below.

Firstly, It is said that children's mind are likely the blank page. It is easier for teacher to teach them language when they are young. In addition to this, they can follow other actions without effort. Reality has shown that adults are not as good at speaking foreign language as kids

Secondly, the more you study, the professional you become. Sooner do children study foreign language, higher salary they can get in the future. After many years studying, they have no trouble in using foreign language, they can speak with foreigner as a native speaker.

In conclusion, I highly approve children to study foreign language as soon as possible for their brighter future. And, of course, if i have a baby, i would approach my kid to the way like that.