Writing Feedback / IELTS ; What is the best way to reduce crime? [3]

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime .Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Which IELTS band do you think it can score? and what is your general comments and recommendation.
Thanks in advance.

All around the globe, crime is as present as ever. While any attempting to stop it, is some kind of foolishness, measures should be introduce to reduce its rate .a lot of people believe that the best measure is to judge the criminal for long sentences. Others, myself included, are of the opinion that alternative measures could be applied to address the problem.

To begin, some people think that, they can simply rid of criminal by sending them to the prison for long penalties. However, this idea can bring some benefits. One of them is to prevent those criminals from committing another crime. Also, the fear from the thought of spending long year behind the prison walls, shall has tremendous effect on reducing crime rate.

In contrast, others could think out of the box to address this problem. the new statistics and researches have proven that most of the criminals are committing crimes under the effect of drugs. Therefore, by offering them a suitable medical care, in addition to clean our streets up from drugs, shall give a very convenient result.

Furthermore, another solution is to divide the long prison sentences between the prison and the unpaid community service. In other words, the prisoner can spend a part of his sentence in the prison having a suitable training and learn how he can manage a well-balanced life. After that, the authority can let him to join the unpaid community service, and for sure this can be done just then, the doctors and the specialist recommendation. Anyway this step can be his first step to be honest citizen instead of criminal.

In conclusion, both sides are considerable and have their benefits. but I outweigh not to give the prisoners a long prison sentences.

Writing Feedback / Every year some languages die out; language as the most important achievment [3]

Every year several languages die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are a fewer languages in the world.

To what extend do you agree with this opinion?

From the entire fields of the human endeavor, we can consider the language as the most important achievement we made. However, as many places the human race has occupied and lived in all around the globe, as many languages have been developed .each language has its society and culture flavor. Some people want to take those flavors out and replace them by a mono flavor .although, they argue that the communication between people shall be easier, I shall disagree with that opinion and I prefer to keep our earth as spicy as it is.

Firstly, the most influenced area with language is art .The presence of many languages gives art a lot of diversity. In other words and for example, poets shall describe nature, moon, rivers and even women in different ways, because each language has its unique style .this Variety shall rich our life instead of the mono language which may colored our life into a single boring mono color.

Furthermore, our presence on earth is depending on our understanding and analyzing to the ancient civilizations especially how they accommodated themselves with earth. Generation after generation, language played an essential rule in transferring the human knowledge and sciences to the next era .thereby any language die out we lose a part of this accumulative experiences . For example the ancient Egyptians have developed a tremendous number of sciences. But nowadays, and as their language has died out, most of their science are mysteries for us.

In conclusion, many language presence is serving a useful purpose .As it help us to keep knowledge continues improvement .also it contribute on art diversity which riches our life and breaks our routine.

which band score do you think?

Writing Feedback / IELTS: applying community service in schools serving a good purpose [7]

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

School account for large proportion of spreading high society values among the children. Values like honesty and loyalty to the society and country could be learned through the different school activities. Anyway, I believe that unpaid community service is one of the most effective tools could be used in schools to teach the students that high values.

Loyalty to our country, is not something in our genes we born with. But it is something accumulative. Students can gain it through contact with their society. Also, if this contact has brought appreciation to them, it shall last a tremendous impact on their thinking toward their country. Therefore, schools shall understand that, and take its responsibility to involve students into their community.

However, school should not force students to enroll in community service. Instead of that, this process can take the shape of competitions or games. I believe if this idea was adopted, a vast increase in student's enrollment shall be achieved.

Furthermore, subsidies could be offered to schools to perform more and more unpaid community service. So, schools would regard community service as a financial issue.

In conclusion, applying community service in schools serving a good purpose.in addition to that its benefits last students all their life.