Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by farideh [Suspended]
Name: farideh azarfam
Joined: Dec 8, 2013
Last Post: Dec 22, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  
Likes:
From: iran
School: bahonar

Displayed posts: 7
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
farideh   
Dec 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / Interest in subject , gain qualification - the result of a survey of adult education [4]

The chart illustrate the percentage of out come the reason young people decide to study . pie chart provide the information that how the coast of each course should be shared?

Lets divide our chart into three category : interest in subject , gain qualification. And, current job, prospects of promotion, enjoy study, and the last part, change jobs , to meet people. As it can be seen, the striking feature for reason to study is about 40% of student who are interested in subject . The second category shows similar pattern , approximately 20%for each. Moreover, the lowest percentage reported from 3rd proportion around 10%respectivelly.

Regarding to the pie chart , money should be shared between three category: individual, employer, and , taxpayer 40% , 35% , 25% for each respectively.

To sum up, one of the most reason to study is interest in subject, and 40% of cost should be shared for adult education.
farideh   
Dec 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / Entertainment, culture, heritage - What do we need music? [5]

There are many different types of music in the world today. What do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

No one can deny that, different type of music has been increasing markedly a round the world. Some people put forward the view that, traditional music is one of the most important than international music, but others say that international music is more up to date and young generation all around the word interested in. lets discussed both side of this issues.

First of all, regardless the type of music, listen to music is one of the most entertainment for people all around the word. As it can be seen that, over 50% of people prefer fills their leisure time with music. Because, they think its essential for their nerve and have a positive effect on their behavior. Now a days, music divided two types : traditional music and international music such as rock music, pop music, etc. Traditional music is not well known as international music in the word. More over, investment for traditional music don't enough in comparison, international music.

On the other hand, different type of music have different advocate. For instance, international music are more interested in by young generation , because its more attractive and fashionable , a lot of sings performance by famous singers. For example, international music have especial clubs for young people who are keen on singers, due to this reasons traditional music would not competitive whit the international music. traditional music are supported whit elderly and middle aged generation so we don't have attractive advertising about it. Furthermore, its not enough only use traditional music in specific places such as museum, art galleries, relaxation classes, such as back ground music.

In conclusion , as we all are aware, traditional music is part of our culture and, like other valuable heritage we should preserve this art for next generations.
farideh   
Dec 21, 2013
Undergraduate / I push my way through the crowded path ; World I come from [4]

I really liked you essay. In the first paragraph you have very well described your surrounding, and daily schedule. However, I think you should consider removing "still", since you used it three times in the paragraph, and the last part in which you referred to your daily homework, swimming and school project "banal affairs". That simply doesn't fit in and presents you as someone who's bored with homework and swimming.

Your second paragraph furthers describes your city, but at the same time it throws light on the problems that you face on daily basis. I liked that part. Then in the third paragraph you show how prfundly you have been impacted by your sorrunding, however, I personally believe you should cut down a bit on writing about politicians etc and tell something about your family or school. Since school and family are an integral part of our lives, I believe that should be included in your essay. Good luck!

Reply Quote
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳