Prompt: Given what you know about Olin College, please tell us why you want to attend Olin, and why you think Olin is a good fit for you.
I have researched innumerable colleges to find the perfect college for me. And without doubt, I firmly believe that Olin College is the best college for me.
The first thing I consider in choosing a college is its tuition. Coming from a low-income family, I had to always to seek for scholarships available for students. There are a lot of scholarships opened to citizens, but not many to international students. Unlike other colleges, Olin College provides a tuition scholarship (valued at more than $85,000 over four years) for every enrolled student. This opportunity is unique not because it gives scholarships to every enrolled student, but because it gives scholarships to students including international students! Public schools like UC Berkeley or GIT do not offer any sort of scholarships to international students. In addition, their tuitions are considerably high especially for the international students. Private schools do offer limited scholarships and financial aids to international students. However, they are not guaranteed. According to the chancellor for Admissions of one private university, the tuition scholarships are competitive and are not guaranteed even to those who are in need of financial support. Olin College, however, offers a unique opportunity cannot be found in anywhere else.
Olin College is a newly built university that is thriving its way to become the best engineering institution. To be honest, I never heard of Olin until I had recently researched universities in Massachusetts. Researching Olin, I found out that it runs a program called SCOPE (Senior Capstone Program in Engineering), which motivates students to have more innovative thoughts and to invent revolutionizing technologies. This program has caught my mind, because I want to be like Elon Musk. Though Elon Musk graduated from University of Pennsylvania, I'm confident that through SCOPE program I will be able to become an innovative thinker, inventor and entrepreneur like him. I have actually visited Olin College last summer. I toured the whole Olin campus, and it was probably the best campus I have ever visited. Unlike other universities that were either cramped in a city or isolated in a vast area of dust, Olin College was the mediocre of the two conditions. Although it wasn't a big campus like Texas A&M, it was definitely spatial enough for me to wander around to feel the nature. The modern styled buildings attracted me to think 'I have to attend this college.' After touring the campus, I went into the building fascinated to see what the students were doing. However, they were doing an important project so they didn't let anyone in. Though I wasn't able to see what the students were working on, I had the chance to talk to one of the students involved in the programs in Olin College. They told me that there are more programs other than SCOPE and assured me that Olin is the best college for engineering.
Olin's satisfying tuition, amazing programs, and stunning buildings gave me a firm belief that Olin is a perfect college for me.
You should avoid talking too much about other universities and focus on Olin alone. In your first paragraph, you should probably cut out any mention of other universities and their financial aid programs and focus on Olin's fin aid and their goals of giving out such fin aid. Plus, you should also try to write on how you can utilise that fin aid to the fullest because this essay should not be only about how Olin is perfect for you but you will fit into Olin.Again, in your second paragraph, avoid mentioning any other university because it does not serve any positive purpose nor does it shed light on who you are. It is not only you who chooses the university but the university will be the one to make the ultimate decision to accept you.
good luck!
The first thing I consider in choosing a college is its tuition.
... you are very open about it and I like your approach :)
The first thing that strikes my mind about when choosing a college is the cost.Coming from a low-income family, I had to always to seek for scholarships available for students.
First get their attention to your problem and then justify it. You need to convince them that you deserve a scholarship.
Coming from a low income family, yet being very enthusiastic about pursuing a higher education, the only avenue for me to aspire my dreams is to seek scholarships opportunities.I don't think you should mention tuition and scholarship at all. It comes off as if the biggest reason you want to attend Olin is because of potential aide. Mentioning cost is almost always a bad idea. I know because I am in same shoes as you, and my two older brothers had same situation years prior. My brother never mentioned potential financial aide when he went to Cornell, because it's only a possibility, and it's not guranteed for international students although they employ need-blind for all students. With merit-based scholarships like W&L's Johnson, you could mention it's prestige, but never in detail, because it says that that's sole reason you are applying. Make yourself stand out, without mentioning financial burdens. Also avoid mentioning you never heard of Olin until..., and focus more on what they can offer to you.
If you have time, I'll appreciate if you can check out my amherst or Bowdoin essay.
