Graduate / CULTURAL DIVERSITY; Boston University (BU) [3]

can someone please help me out with the grammar and structure or any critical feedbac! my English isn't the best! thank you!

One of the main reasons that brought me to apply to BU was perhaps the rich cultural diverse atmosphere it provides, being located in the heart of one of the most cosmopolitan cities in the world. The exposure to the many nationalities and religions in Massachusetts will enhance my cultural awareness and allow me to teach and be taught many attributes that could only be learnt with experience and from different people with an amazing blend of personalities. Furthermore, the premedical opportunities offered in BU; especially the clinical experiences and volunteer activities will help re-affirm my passionate and burning desire to pursue my dream in the health professions and to assist those in need. My trip to the refugee camp in Syria opened my eyes as to the extent that medical support is required in the world. I aspire to volunteer actively in the community service programs offered in BU not only to help me acquire characteristics needed in the health professions but help me explore my interests and prepare me to achieve in a complex, ever-changing world. I hope to fulfill my aspirations in a high quality and nurturing university in the midst of a dynamic environment to the best of my abilities.

Undergraduate / They suffer Malnutrition and traumatisation; Vanderbilt Sup- Extracurricular [5]

can someone please help me out and tell me if my answer responds to their question!! im freaking outtt

We so easily take the gift of life for granted, the roof above our heads, the four walls that surround us. Just four borders away children battle destruction while living in a war-torn country. They suffer Malnutrition and traumatisation. At the refugee camp I visited I witnessed a paediatrician battle to save the lives of Syrian children, whilst improvising medical procedures to the best of his ability. I assisted him treating the affected. We worked in two clinics, one inside Turkey- Killis and one inside Syria. Watching him make such an immense difference to these kids' life, just relieving their pain was incredible. The power of medicine, with a gentle touch of care from the doctor is enough to bring a smile on their faces, cure them mentally and physically. This experience reaffirmed my desire to help the people and opened my eyes as to the extent that medical support is required in the world. Furthermore, teaching me to appreciate all the things we take for granted, that the happiest people are content with the least. A piece of cake, colouring pencils, a teddy bear can make all the difference and could become treasures cherished by others. I was able understand the situation more from their perspective; seeing it with your own eyes is definitely different to the media we drown ourselves with 24/7. I obtained an insight on the many issues the world suffers today. This was an unforgettable experience.