Posts by Zackjam1

Zackjam1

Mar 31, 2014

Undergraduate / Purdue writing supplement; Great plan of study will be substantial for my career [2]

Help please Urgent

What life goals will Purdue help you to achieve--and how? (Respond in 100 words or fewer.)

Given the fact that Purdue has one of the top ten engineering programs, not only will I be offered a great opportunity, but I will also be offered with an amazing preparation to any engineering career that I may be envisioning. Also, Purdue University has a great plan of study which will be substantial for my career, therefore allowing me to achieve my life goals more easily.

Leaving the engineering program behind, Purdue University will also help me encounter people from different backgrounds which will provide me with the opportunity to learn about new cultures and ideas.

Zackjam1

Mar 31, 2014

Grammar, Usage / What is the Difference between Literary Writings & Business Writings [10]

Help with mine please

Zackjam1

Mar 31, 2014

Grammar, Usage / What is the Difference between Literary Writings & Business Writings [10]

Try looking it as an entrepeneur perspective. You should talk about how memorandums can affect the employer-employee ratio. Also try talking a lot about how written proposals can change the life of a person or an entire business in the business envieronment. Talk how competition has affected the different aspects of a business, and how has business writing change that.

Zackjam1

Jan 9, 2014

Undergraduate / Economics interest + how to pursue at USC--USC supplement [5]

Write more about USC, the only thing you write about USC is the last sentence, explain your goals at that university.
Add more at the end and use not so many words in the second part of the essay.

Zackjam1

Jan 9, 2014

Scholarship / Nursing Scholarship Essay for University of Texas at Austin Nursing very important to me! [4]

"I got me involved with the Health Occupation Students of America (HOSA);" - instead you should say "I got myself" or " It got me" depending on what you are referring to.

"Taking classes such as nutrition, pharmacology, and medical microbiology, I was able to not only widen my horizon of the medical world and fulfill basic prerequisites." you should make the blue part an infinitive.

"I have always been independent so my parents never have to worry about me." - I think you should delete that, plus it is worded incorrectly.

"I have overcome many obstacles and I will continue to do so." - delete that as well

Most of it is fine, just those mistakes and one that I forgot to bookmark so I lost it

Zackjam1

Jan 9, 2014

Undergraduate / I wanted to work as a mechanical engineer; Georgia Tech Writing Supplement- [4]

Why are you interested in attending Georgia Tech and what do you hope to contribute to our community? (150 word limit)

In my freshmen year of high school, I decided that I wanted to work as a mechanical engineer. I believe that Georgia Tech is the school capable of providing me with this opportunity. With its research program, I will be able to do the undergraduate research that I've hoped to perform in mechanical engineering since high school.

Not only does Georgia Tech provide me with a great engineering program, but it also is one of the schools with the highest return of investments. The high ROI of Georgia Tech will provide me the opportunity for a successful future after my undergraduate studies. As a visionary student, I hope to continue doing research at Georgia Tech and hopefully provide the Georgia Tech community with a great advancement in the field of mechanical engineering.

Zackjam1

Dec 30, 2013

Undergraduate / "Without an Expression"- CENTRAL TO IDENTITY [3]

Hi, thank you for your response on my essay, I will try to fix it.

Now your essay. I think you should write more about how your struggle on speaking started, this should be included in the middle of your essay. Next, "Finally I got the respect and credit deserved." - This should be well explained, like for example adding information about how you were treated before you could learn how to speak and if you really want to include this sentence you should check some grammatic mistakes in it. I think your beginning and your ending are quite well, it is the middle part that feels incomplete.