Undergraduate / "I thought I was the only one!"- Harvard [6]

Briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences

TELL ME IF ITS TOO LONG OR ANY COMMENTS
I looked down and saw the grass below me, but separating us was a space the width of the Atlantic. I had never been so high up and there was no turning back. All I kept thinking was how this string-like harness would support me or possibly save my life.

This past summer my scholars programs attended the Georgia Tech obstacle course. I was slightly nonchalant about the trip: the previous summer we completed a similar course indoors. As we got off the bus and saw the course some of us seized in amazement.

"No big deal, I had done this already." I thought. Sadly, I had been fooling myself.

The course leaders had us do activities as we prepared for what was to come.

"This is a turnstyle and you and your friends are late for a concert." They said. The coordinators named a formula and the rest was up to us. The task was to assess our leadership abilities and it was clear I was a chief.

As the day of simple fun and festivities began to end, we approached our final activity, the obstacle course. I put my harness and helmet on as fast as a hyperactive child. Remember, I had done this before and was ready to do it again.

To get to the top, I climbed a net thinking I was spiderwoman and unstoppable. Once at the top, our first obstacle was a tight rope that started as two and merged into one. We had to go in order and as one person left another had to go to maintain balance.

I had to do it.

As I stepped on the rope, my vision headed south and it looked as if I were floating in mid-air. My foot hid the cable and all I could see was the grass that seemed harder than usual. As we continued to cross, the rope began to sway. My friend asked if I could pass her a vine for support. I could not. The vine was far and if I attempted to grasp it, I was sure to fall.

I failed my teammate.

The next obstacles were metal ledges were separated great distances apart. I did not think I could go through with it but it was either complete the course our face the tight rope again. There was no turning back.

As we began to step on the ledge my heart raced. Everyone need to be on the same ledge at the once. I gripped the wire tensely; the fearless had become the fearful. With every step I hand to reach for a team member's hand. While we continued they cheered me on because it was clear I needed it.

As we got done, I was excited I had gone through with it, but I was mostly in awe. Shocked at how well we worked as a unit and how much they supported me. My team was my harness.

I then quickly went to my friend, Jennifer and apologized. I refused to aid her when she need it.

"No problem", she said "we were all afraid."

At that moment I felt at ease. Sometime the best of us might need guidance, but we must show courage and help others.

541 WORDS

Undergraduate / Diferent Ambition - Harvard Additional Essay REVISIONS [7]

You may wish to include an additional essay if you feel that the college application forms do not provide sufficient opportunity to convey important information about yourself or your accomplishments. You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following topics:

- Unusual circumstances in your life
- Travel or living experiences in other countries
- What you would want your future college roommate to know about you
- An intellectual experience (course, project, book, discussion, paper, poetry, or research topic in engineering, mathematics, science or other modes of inquiry) that has meant the most to you

- How you hope to use your college education
- A list of books you have read during the past twelve months

I ALREADY WROTE THIS AND WAS CONSIDERING TO SUBMIT IT WITH MY HARVARD APP. WHAT DO YOU THINK? ANY REVISION? THANKS :)

Perception, our awareness of something through our senses, has become a broad scope; it demonstrates our culture and formulates our opinions. As we develop intellectually throughout life our perceptions of observations change but our self-perception remains. When asked words that describe me, I internally view myself of traits that cannot be manifested on my outer surface. I am ingenious, ambitious, and rare.

I am your out of the box thinker. As a fan and producer of art it would be abnormal if I was not. I love all forms of art: literature, dance, and music to be more specific. When I hear a simple chime or see a colorful illustration, I get an indescribable feeling in my stomach and develop tears.

After participating in school activities such as the Prom Committee, Homecoming hall decorating, and in-class literary debates, my talent for art has become more apparent. For that reason, friends love working on projects with me, ask me for ideas, and compliment my crazy way of thinking. An example would be our school's hall decorating completion each Homecoming. Instead of producing a simple idea, I wanted people to feel as if they were walking through another world. I successfully lead my grade level team in creating a World of Candy, An Amazon, and Whimsical Wonderland each year. I am ingenious.

Ambition is not something you acquire, it is born within and I am sure it was bestowed upon me. I always knew I will be a paragon for society through life experiences as well as cultural background. I am a sacrificial model to convince others they can achieve greatness. Though certain of my goals, I was unsure of a plan and undecided. In my opinion, careers should not be based around money or the superficial titles of a doctor and lawyer. They should be a person's passion that satisfies them mentally and emotionally. My complex combination of a love for art and logical math made finding a happy medium obfuscating until now. After getting hired at Aéropostale, I had an epiphany. I would like to major in Marketing and minor in Mass Communications. At work I was taught of merchandise layout and presentation. The design and creativity, yet the logic and strategical placement of products, is ideal for me. My future endeavor is to progress within a company until I am a part of the headquarters' management team to develop the skills in becoming a mogul. I am ambitious.

I have always had the feeling that I do not fit in. Peers and adults describe me alike as different, calling my mind set and highly refined opinions distinct. As a being, I tend to take the "road not taken" and create a new path. I see myself as an innovator very strong willed and still humble. I have a wide range of traits that are polar opposites of one another. I enjoy being different and plan to use this and leave a legacy. I am rare.

I am ingenious, ambitious, and rare.

502 WORDS

Undergraduate / Being in Shanghai - NYU Prompt #1- NYU's Any Revisions [2]

NYU's global network of campuses, schools, colleges, and programs, provides an unrivaled urban university experience to cultivate our students' intellectual curiosity and to help them achieve their future career goals.

In evaluating your candidacy for admission, we are interested in making the best match possible with all that NYU has to offer. As a result, we are curious to learn about your academic and personal interests and how those interests relate to what we offer in the idea capitals of the world in which NYU campuses are located.

Please address, in your essay response, the following:Given your NYU campuses of interest - whether they are your primary and alternate home campuses of interest or where you would like to study away while you are a student - where, exactly, would you like to study at NYU - and why?

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK AND PLACES YOU THINK I NEED TO REVISE. THANKS :)

I have always known that I want to go to college out-of-state. I felt that Georgia did not understand me and the only place that would, is my state of birth, New York. I am diverse and can relate to a lot there: the lifestyle, the people, and the places.

After inquiring about New York University and its global network of campuses, not only do I have the opportunity to study out-of-state but also to study out-of-the-country. I find other cultures enticing, so when given a choice of campus, I would choose NYU's Shanghai. I want to be somewhere with strong customs that are much different from our American culture. I would like the full effect of being in a new country and feel Shanghai, China, would satisfy all of this and more. The Chinese culture has a more of conservative and oriental array, with strict mannerism and fervent beliefs. Although I am not accustom to these traditions, I think learning the ways of other cultures would give me a sharper understanding of the world as a whole.

I also would like to study in Shanghai because I like its vibrant liveliness. I am an active person that's always on the go. Shanghai's fast-pace ambiance, reminds New York has but with an ethnic twist. China is such a versatile place. It also provides several wonders for moments when I want calm down from the city life. While studying in Shanghai, I would take advantage of China's beauty and have many excursions throughout the country.

I believe that knowledge grows greater with experience. Becoming acquainted with traditional China will expose me to different perspectives that will prepare me for the future. Being in Shanghai, a place of growth, opportunities, and innovation would allow me to stay connected. As a marketing major, I presume that studying and temporary living in Shanghai would familiarize me with China's economy as the United States' third most widely traded countries. Participating in Shanghai's street bargaining would also give me the skill of product value and proper negotiating in the marketing field.

345 WORDS