Writing Feedback / University students should be required to attend class; 'skipping some boring' [3]

Hi everyone, please have a look at my essay and tell me what could be improved. Thank you so much!
Topic: Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students. Which point of view do you agree with?

The university where supplied background for student to make good work in future. It is a reason why many people believe that university student should be requires to attend classes. However, outstanding of technology helped student can learn at home which do not go to classes through E - learn, facebook or learn internet. So that, others disagree, and think that attendance should be optional. If I were to choose between the two positons, I would choose the latter.

There are two points of view to this question. First, the university requested ability of learning by himself or herself. Each student need practise themselves soft skill such as work partens, choose good and mean classes. Instend of, the professor will lecture directly, you can learn in a book, through a best friend. Many celebrities, such as Bill Gates, have attained success by not attending some classes when they were in university. Therefore, this is important that you can hold much knowledge and need enhance ability of learning for yourself.

Second, social is more developer, trailing outstanding of technology make appear many websites can supply much background for student. Besides, the introduction of electronic technology which produced many equipments such as ipad, iphone, tablet... It can access internet which be stimulate spirit learning of each student. Through E - learn, facebook or learn internet, student can learn everything they need and find information in different sources. Learning at home, student can save time to make other works such as tutor, sell goods or make the works part - time.

The question always ask by the parents that with a huge knowledge which the students can be self - educated and need not attend all the lessons on campus? Nevertheless, interest is the mother of all study so that you should select the classes you like to attend. For example, in current universities, many excellent students almost have the record of skipping some boring classes.

To sum up, going to attend classes on campus is necessary. However, the students should blance time learn at home and a university which received knowledge quickly and know deeply problems.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2: WHY DO YOU NEED MUSIC? [5]

Music is know as a spiritual food without less in your life. There are many different types of music in the world and we can appreciate it everyday. It is the reason, why do we need music?

First, the world can be diminished through the medoly of music. The author will be used much notes to express his thought, his drea, ambition or his memory. Through the songs, they can be shown about glorious war, introduced about a country. For example, The Ballad of Ho Chi Minh was be composed by Ewan Maccoll which extoled about the nationl hero and the world was known about it.

Second, the music makes the life become noise and busy. Folk songs lulled the child into sleep. It is a operating song lyrics which urged the soilder stably in the battle. When you are happy, you will sing vitoria songs. If you feel sad, music will make friend with you. Thanks to music, the life have many colours, splendid and reverie.

However, the traditional music of a country is more important than the international music. Because, it is pond of a country, is symbol not to mixed with different country. On the other hand, although the instruments used have been very different and more advanced keeping in pace with technological advancements, the basic structure of the traditional music remains unique and unchanged.

In conclution, the music is very necessary in the life. Whatever it is music has been one of the major part time experiences for human beings. Music keeps everyone rejuvenated throughout his life, which proves its necessity.