Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Faith318
Name: Fairlight McCampbell
Joined: Mar 12, 2014
Last Post: Mar 14, 2014
Threads: 1
Posts: 7  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 8
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
Faith318   
Mar 14, 2014
Writing Feedback / The Boy whose Parents were Murdered by Life [6]

though

Spelling error. Should be tough.

way as saying

Should be, way of saying.
As a story, you did an excellent job. Very well written.
Faith318   
Mar 14, 2014
Writing Feedback / Destiny and Character; "Your moments of decisions affect your Destiny" [4]

angle which is Destiny is character.

It may flow smoother if you were to say, in which, instead of which is.
Also it seems like your giving a lot of examples without backing them up completely. Try expounding on why you are using these examples.
Faith318   
Mar 14, 2014
Letters / I feel that the position offered would be ideal; cover letter [3]

and I enclose my CV in application.

It might just be me, but this sounds clumsy.
You may want to use a comma after Ms. Roberts, beginning, and Your sincerely, end. Otherwise I think you did an excellent job writing this and stating facts about your qualifications without sounding boastful.
Faith318   
Mar 14, 2014
Writing Feedback / Is homeschooling a good alternative to public education? [2]

Prompt: Homeschooling can be a good alternative to public education. Agree or disagree with statement.
Is homeschooling a good alternative to public education?
The home schooled student has an amazing advantage to public schooled students. First, parents who teach their children at home have the opportunity to customize their child's education for his needs and interest. Because of the one on one instruction early on, the home schooled child can often advance ahead of their public schooled peers. Some even graduating from college as young as sixteen. As mentioned is Bee and Boyd's book, The Developing Child, surveys show that most parents believe that they can do a better job educating their children then the public schools can (2010).

Children educated at home can adapt to social situations easier than those who receive a public education. Contrary to popular belief, the social life of home education students is very well rounded. These children learn how to relate to a variety of people and age groups rather than only relating to their peers like most public schooled students. Because of their varied social background these students are more qualified and dependable in the workforce. Growing up with more responsibilities around the home makes them more apt to take initiative. They have a higher level of respect for themselves and others, making them confident employees.

The drawback we see in home education is the reduction of income for single income families, more opportunities for conflict between parent and child, and the balancing of time commitments to teach effectively (Online Source, psychologytoday). Children who grow up in families with less income can be more creative and innovative with the resources provided. Having to work through conflict with parents gives them excellent practice in dealing with the real world conflicts they will face. Learning how to balance their time is an invaluable skill.

Having the strong and close support of their families during the crucial character forming years builds true confidence that is greatly lacking in today's society. Those that graduate early can quickly become excellent employees and employers, becoming useful members of society giving what they learn back to the world around them.
Faith318   
Mar 14, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Letter to your friend - 'we all can have some lunch together' [2]

I must have tell you about how much we all enjoyed by being at your home.

Remove the word have from this sentence.

We all loved to eat the food which was having real traditional south Indian chettinad taste.

This would be better written as, We all loved eating the food which had a real traditional south Indian Chettinad taste.

We would all love to see you all again in our place again.

Could be simplified by removing the first all, and using the word at instead of in, and not using the word again at the end of the sentence. You can just end the sentence with the word place.
Faith318   
Mar 14, 2014
Undergraduate / "Be the change you want to see in this world" ; Why APU? [4]

For example, first and foremost reason is that I am

You do not need to say both, for example, and first and foremost. Pick one or the other. Example: For example, one reason that I am... Or: The first and foremost reason that I am... You do not need the word is.

Actually, I have lots of other answers to the question "why APU?".

I agree with Dumi, this sentence is unnecessary and distracting.
Over all, it is a well written essay.
Faith318   
Mar 12, 2014
Student Talk / Hi everyone! Welcome at EssayForum thread. [414]

Hi All, I'm studying for a college test that includes two essays. One 30 opinion based essay on either a topic or a quote, and the other a 40 minute essay with provided sources to quote from and back up my arguments. The essays are each supposed to be 5 paragraphs, around 600 words, with an Intro, 3 points, and a conclusion. I'm struggling with the length. Do any of you have suggestions on how I can lengthen my essays without being redundant?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳