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Posts by Big B
Name: Chengxu Ying
Joined: Apr 13, 2014
Last Post: Apr 19, 2014
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  

From: Australia
School: UNSW

Displayed posts: 4
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Big B   
Apr 19, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Canadian students graduated; 3 pharagraphs [6]

Your total words is 160+, i think you could simplified some sentences such as

even though the number of female student graduated was always higher than the number of men

even though more females graduate from the university in the whole period(it is only male and female here )

the increasing trends of both groups of students seems as likely to be similar

they had a similar increasing trend

this growth

which

According to the given information,

more spcifically
Big B   
Apr 13, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2; More people want to buy famous brands. Give reason and opinion [6]

This is an essay that i wrote for exercise just now, Please give me some recommendation on any aspects such as logic and sentences. Cheers

People preferred to buy cheap but good products several years ago. However, increasing number of people trend to pursue famous-brand items such as clothes, cars and cell phone. There are a few reason for this new development. However, I personally believe it is not a positive trend.

The following reasons lead to the pursuit for famous brand. One such reason is that it is believed those commodities are of good quality. Compared with the cell phone of other brands, people are willing to buy iphone for its multifunctional system and humanized design of operation. It also happens when people select clothes and cars. Apart from that, advertisement effect is another important factor which influences people's selection. Amount of companies spend millions of money on the advertisement by inviting celebrities in order to attract more customers. People, especially youngster, trend to buy to products which their idols recommended.

In my opinion, it is a negative development. Firstly, famous brands generally cost a lot. The cost of purchasing famous brands products such as clothes and bags are doubled even tripled for its designing and materials. By contrast, some ordinary products could be good substitutions with lower cost. Moreover, this trend may result in the increasing of criminal rate. Some robbers and kidnappers usually target people who is wealthy , especially those who wearing famous bands. The criminal are stimulated by the increasing use of famous brand because criminals believe these products worth much.

In conclusion, I believe people purchase famous-brand goods for different reasons while it is not a positive development.

i appreciate that if you can grade my article.