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IELTS TASK 2; More people want to buy famous brands. Give reason and opinion


Big B 1 / 3  
Apr 13, 2014   #1
This is an essay that i wrote for exercise just now, Please give me some recommendation on any aspects such as logic and sentences. Cheers

People preferred to buy cheap but good products several years ago. However, increasing number of people trend to pursue famous-brand items such as clothes, cars and cell phone. There are a few reason for this new development. However, I personally believe it is not a positive trend.

The following reasons lead to the pursuit for famous brand. One such reason is that it is believed those commodities are of good quality. Compared with the cell phone of other brands, people are willing to buy iphone for its multifunctional system and humanized design of operation. It also happens when people select clothes and cars. Apart from that, advertisement effect is another important factor which influences people's selection. Amount of companies spend millions of money on the advertisement by inviting celebrities in order to attract more customers. People, especially youngster, trend to buy to products which their idols recommended.

In my opinion, it is a negative development. Firstly, famous brands generally cost a lot. The cost of purchasing famous brands products such as clothes and bags are doubled even tripled for its designing and materials. By contrast, some ordinary products could be good substitutions with lower cost. Moreover, this trend may result in the increasing of criminal rate. Some robbers and kidnappers usually target people who is wealthy , especially those who wearing famous bands. The criminal are stimulated by the increasing use of famous brand because criminals believe these products worth much.

In conclusion, I believe people purchase famous-brand goods for different reasons while it is not a positive development.

i appreciate that if you can grade my article.

niesaysi 16 / 284 83  
Apr 13, 2014   #2
People preferred to buy cheap but good products several years ago. However, increasing number of people trend to pursue famous-brand items such as clothes, cars and cell phone.

I do not see any connection. I think your hook does not add worth to the next sentence.

to pursue famous-brand items

The word "pursue" is inappropriately used in the context.It should be "purchase".
OP Big B 1 / 3  
Apr 13, 2014   #3
i try to compare the past and present however it seems i missed some important info. thank you
Eva Novita Sari 47 / 72 2  
Apr 13, 2014   #4
The criminal are stimulated by the increasing use of famous brand because criminals believe these products worth much.

Hello Big B...
You write the criminal without s, I think it is singular. So, you should useis
:)
dumi 1 / 6,933 1592  
Apr 13, 2014   #5
First it is good if you posted the full prompt so that we know exactly what it expects from you and we can align our comments better with that.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,197 459  
Apr 14, 2014   #6
Make it a habit of writing the full prompt on top of your essay as it helps readers fully understand what it requires from you. Also, readers can provide you with more meaningful comments.


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