Writing Feedback / SAT: Learning from mistakes or from our successful actions? [6]

Thank you guys so much! I will sure do all the things you said next time :)

Writing Feedback / GRE: Development of technology and the way people rely on it too much. [2]

Hey, this essay is so good considering its your first. You almost have no mistakes however, I think you should make your conclusion a little longer :)

Essays / how can i make a good introduction? essay about myself [8]

Hey, when it comes to writing an essay about yourself then I guess it should be written this way.. I don't know if its a different thing for you but I hope this helps :)

Introduction:
My name is [insert you full name] and I'm [insert your age]. There are many things about me but those are few main points I would like to mention about myself.

Middle:
One of the many things I love to do in my free time is ice hockey and I've been doing in for [insert the amount of time you've been doing it for]. I am on the team crew and I really enjoy it. Some of the things I really like about it are [insert the things you like about about it].

I have rather wide variety of pets which include a cat named [insert name], dog called [insert name], gecko who's name is [insert name] as well as fish and other really interesting animals.

The main reason why I came to this school is because of my brother. He went to this school and once I went with him to one of the events that was going on I found that I really liked this school and wanted to attend it too.

I participate in health tech class for school and my goal is to do as well as possible in in throughout the year.
My favorite genre of music is [insert genre you like] and my favorite songs and artists include [insert list of your favorite songs and artists]. I like it because [insert a reason why you like it].

The person I admire the most and found to be my role model is [insert the name of your role model]. This is because [insert a reason].

Ending:
Those are some of the many things about myself and facts about me form my personal point of view

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Famous people are bothered by the media [7]

First of, the grammar is great, and you used great vocab as well.
However, this essay could of been better if you added examples like
Justin Bieber or One Direction since the article is about celebrities and thats how you explain your point clearly.
I think that your essay is really good compared to other essays in the TOEFL however, you should add examples to clarify your point :)

Writing Feedback / SAT Essay: Do we value only what we struggle for? Kindly grade. [6]

You have used a lot of vocab, and that clearly is very important in writing an essay. However, Thomas Edison isn't the rightest example to be used in here, because his story would be better in another essay about "success after failure" and it just doesnt explain your point very well here same thing with Albert Einstein.

Anyhow, if I'd grade it I'd give it 8/12
Because it was written in a very nice form and you have arranged your thoughts in a nice order :)

Writing Feedback / SAT essay: 'Taking a bad decision is way better than the terror of indecision' [3]

This essay is so good and you added all the needed details :) If I would score it, I'd give it 9/12

Writing Feedback / TOEFL ESSAY - Technology makes people's lives simpler rather than complicated [5]

This essay is written in a nice form, and you have clarified the points well.
However, it would be better if you have added more details in the things that technology complicate since that was your point from the beginning of the essay.

Writing Feedback / Toefl- The qualities of a good neighbor - should be sociable and helpful [6]

Ok, so the idea is good but some sentences arent written in a right form so here's the correction:
Whether we have
our own resident house or rending place.

According to my opinion, if we get good neighbors who are very helpfulness and friendliness, our life would be lasting very smoothly and happily.

our neighbor was not very genial person. The right form would be: "Our neighbor was not a very genial (or caring ) person.

(, they listened radio by having high volume ) the right form is: since you are talking about you "neighbor" then he is singular so you better use "he/she listened to the radio on a high volume"

It made me so many disturbed and I couldn't concentrate well on studies.
Right form is:
That made me so disturbed and I couldn't concentrate well on my studies"

Anyway, the idea is so great and the examples too

Writing Feedback / Every movie made in a country can reflect some realities about that country [5]

For example, when we are watching a picture made in Iran.. The right form is: when we are watching a picture taken in Iran.

Starting a sentence using "Or" isn't the rightest thing so far

But everything else is totally right and written in a great form :)

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: if you had money, which one do you prefer. buying a car or going vacation [3]

This is written nicely but it would be better if its a little longer with more details and examples, anyway, good job :)