Writing Feedback / IELTS: The tax reduction of state school for parents who have children studying in private system [2]

First of all, I want to express my appreciation for all feedbacks of members of forum give to my prior essays. I hope you guys will continue to give me a favor with this essay

Topic: Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some people who send their children to private schools contend that the amount of taxes they pay for the state education is unreasonable. However, I am utterly convinced that these taxes are absolutely essential.

Firstly, by paying taxes for public school, affluent people effectively contribute to narrowing down the gap between rich and poor. It is true that many poor families are not able to afford tuition fees for their kids to attend a course. With the the tax amount for which they pay, the rich may help a vast number of students from families with poverty background to continue their studies, and earn a better quality of life.

Secondly, the tax reduction for parents of children studying in private schools would lead to a waste of public capital. Obviously, this reduction would cause a difficulty to the tax calculation; therefore, the government would have to recruit a greater workforce in order to handle this sophisticated issue. In addition, the government would also pay the salary for the excessive officials, and this would result in insufficient investments in other crucial public sectors such as education or health care.

Many parents supporting for the idea of tax discounts claim that such tax payments are unfair for them. They point out that it is irrational to require them to pay for the taxes they do not use. Nevertheless, we also pay for the public services that we even do not experience a chance to employ like police or fire brigade. We certainly do not hope for a reduction for these sorts of taxes.

On the whole, I do believe that taxes paying for state schools are necessary to be compulsory for all members of society no matter where their children enroll in.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: CELEBRITY'S ROLE - influence of celebrities to the youth is as well positive as negative [7]

Please elegant guys in the forum give me a hand with my essay. You are welcome to leave any of your feedback or even rate my if you do not mind. All of your comments are highly appreciated. Thank you everybody in advance

Topic: Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that many celebrities nowadays are famous for their glamour and affluence, but not their hard work, and some people think that they would set a bad example for young generations. However, I believe that other people deserve to be an example of inspiration on account of their achievements.

On the one hand, a number of famous people do achieve fame without putting much effort into their life of work. These people might be known for their glamorous lifestyle and their means. In addition, some of them also derive the fame from the exploitation of mass media in order to attract the attention of audiences. A good example would be Paris Hilton, an heiress, who is famous for nothing but extravagant and dissolute style of living. Therefore, she might spread the message of a convenient life without much endeavor.

On the other hand, there is still a cluster of famous idols whose accomplishments are the adequate inspiration for young people. Actor, musicians and sports stars are conventional models of such celebrities. They always contribute their best talent, determination and ambition to the success of their job. Take Eminem, a white rapper, as an example, with his great perseverance, he has earned the name of the greatest alive performer of the black-dominant genre of music. Consequently, he is obviously an universal symbol of famous individuals who achieving the success by their adroitness and application

On the whole, it appears to me that the influence of celebrities to the youth are positive as well as negative.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: THE ADVERSE OPINION OF SCHOOL LEAVERS [3]

Please give me a favor of checking my essay and giving your opinions of improving it. All comments are highly appreciated. Thank you in advance

Topic: Many young people who leave school hold a negative attitude towards learning. Why does this happen? What are the solutions?

It is undeniable that there is an increasing number of school leavers who censure the academic systems for their school curriculum. There are several causes for this adverse belief, but a range of measures available can be taken to alleviate the problem.

There are several potential factors can be named as the causes of this situation. Firstly, a majority of graduate students suppose that they have a deficiency of virtual practical knowledge in order to become valuable employees. For example, in Vietnam, many universities provide students with primarily theoretical courses, but not support sufficient vocational units or personal skills classes, they, as a consequence, may feel baffled as they enter the over-crowded job market. Secondly, a plenty of dropouts who are lured by the deep - rooted desire of earning a life at a very young age consider schooling as a waste of time. They hold an uphold that workplace is such an optimal environment for aspiring employees that they can acquire relevant competences matching with employers' needs.

However, the negative attitudes can be handled by adopting several solutions. One measure would be for universities to modify their learning curriculums by inserting up-to-date subjects and eliminating obsolete materials. As a result, students would be increasingly interested in their studies. Another remedy is that there should undoubtedly be student counseling departments, of which the functions are producing adequate pieces of advice and orientation for students' future career path. This will help students to fully perceive their prospect jobs.

In conclusion, various options can be taken into account that tackle the problem rising among young people leaving school.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: The proportion of postgraduate students owning a computer [4]

Hello everybody, I am a newbie in this forum, please help me with my IELTS writing, score my work on 4 tasks of the test. All comments are welcome and appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Topic: The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first bar graph shows changes in the percentage of residents owning computers over an 8-year period. The second chart compares the proportions of computer ownership by education level in 2002 and 2010.

It is of note that, the percentage of people affording a computer was on the upward trend over the given period. In addition, people tended to buy a computer as they achieved a higher qualification, and this pattern had a significant increase in 2010.

In the year 2002, the ownership of computer accounted for almost 55% of population. This figure had an uninterrupted growth to about 70% in the next six years, and reached the peak at around 75% in 2010, a 5 percent rise every two years.

The proportion of postgraduate students owning a computer had a noticeable higher than those in any level of education in both years, at 80% and 90% respectively. In contrast, inhabitants without any qualifications had the lowest percentage of computer ownership at only 15% in 2002, but tripled the figure to 45% in 2010.

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