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Posts by lovemylife
Name: Pham May
Joined: Jun 23, 2014
Last Post: Jun 24, 2014
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  

From: Viet Nam
School: OU

Displayed posts: 3
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lovemylife   
Jun 24, 2014
Writing Feedback / CAUSES OF LOW PASS RATE OF PROFICIENCY EXAM [4]

Your ideas are good and it would be easier to follow if it was more organized and added more transition words.
For example
+ Intro: ...there are three main causes for this phenomenon
+ body:
- firstly, the inadequate preparation of students is the primary reason. >> + supporting ideas+ examples+ a short brief
- secondly, another reason that has added fuels to the fire is the lack of necessary facilities and professional teachers>> + supporting ideas+ examples+ a short brief

- Finally, it is intolerable exam systems leading to the low pass rate.>> + supporting ideas+ examples+ a short brief
+ in conclusion, ...
lovemylife   
Jun 23, 2014
Writing Feedback / essay: following the host country's culture for visitors [5]

Some people b elieve that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences.

Discuss both thee view and give your own opinion.

In recent year, travelling has become a popular trend throughout the world. Some adopt a view that following the culture and customs of destined country is necessary and compulsory for travellers. While opponents argue that in order to welcoming the guests, it is better for the host country to be more open to the new culture which visitors bring to. In this essay, the justifications of these opinions will be discussed.

On the one hand, adapting and following the culture when staying in another country is a basic requirement for travellers. In fact, every country has their own particular customs that the strangers should obey to express the respectfulness to the local people. As a result of this, the more newcomers respect the differences, the easier for them to have interpersonal interaction with indigenous inhabitants and enjoy new things. In stark contrast, they are subject to troubles, problems happening if they break the local regulations. For example, in some Islamic country such as Afghanistan, Pakistan, women usually wear marks and tight costumes which cover all their head and body except their eyes and only their husbands are permitted to see their face. So, it is unacceptable for visitors to try to see their faces or take off their marks unless they want to be attacked and even killed. Therefore, "when in Rome, do as Romans do" is a wise advice for the enjoyment of the new culture as well as the security to travellers.

On the other hand, it is also tremendously beneficial for the host country if they have open-mind toward the other cultures which visitors bring to. Given the handsome incomes, profits are obtainable in tourism industry. Additionally, along with the development of tourism industry, it also intensifies an increasing number of various related services such as restaurants, hotels and so on which solve the unemployment problems for local country. Thus, the authorities are recommended to welcome the differences from others in order to encourage and attract more and more foreigners come to their country.

In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, both visitors and local country should respect the differences of each other for the beneficial of themselves. However, beside be open for the visitors, the local government should have precaution on problems such as violence, pornography from visitors which may harmful for their citizens.
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