Writing Feedback / New announcements from our president [4]

You are restricting the argument to yourself. This makes you sound self- obsessed and inconsiderate, even if you are not. Think more about how others in the neighborhood would benefit or lose from the new restaurant. You have mentioned noisiness which would apply to the whole neighborhood, but I think you could elaborate more on that, and then relate it to yourself. For example-

The construction of the restaurant would mar the peaceful atmosphere of our neighborhood. I imagine that old Mr. Brown and his wife next door wouldn't be too happy with the noise. Personally, I cannot concentrate when there's noise and I know that the quality of my homework would suffer. I've talked to my friends across the street and they feel the same ...

See what I mean? I'm not saying that my example is the best example and i'm not suggesting that you should use it. But the prompt says you should use specific examples and concrete details; act as though a restaurant is actually being built in your neighborhood. Keep in mind the atmosphere of your neighborhood and the nature of the people who live there, as well as yourself.

Goodluck!

Undergraduate / The art of learning- Stanford- What matters to you most and why [6]

Thanks so much! 😄 Actually this is 250 words exactly which is the word limit. I will scan through for grammatical errors. Thanks again :)

Undergraduate / The art of learning- Stanford- What matters to you most and why [6]

This is my edit- is it any better than the first one? Thanks

Art and People- I find solace in any form of art. When my fingers glide across velvety clay on a spinning wheel, I'm reminded that I'm the architect of my life. As I make the decision between acrylic and oil paint, I stress on the importance of versatility. While I painstakingly create a henna design on my Aunt's palm, I understand the value of wholehearted hard work.

What I cherish most is the connection made when I gift someone a piece of art. Systematic deduction and insight are required to make every gift perfect for its recipient. I want the art in the individual to be mirrored in the present, so that my creation is nothing short of his or her identity. We all have common art within us, such as nature's ingenious craftsmanship that resulted in the wondrous mechanism of the heart. But what I want the recipient to see in the gift are the traits that defines him or her as a unique person. A newspaper and toothpick ballerina perfectly mirrored my neighbor's love for ballet and her obsession with recycling. My best friend's name on aluminum foil depicted his complaints about his brother getting more attention than him as well as his craze for bling.

Gifting art creates treasured memories and is just as heart- warming and thrilling as making art itself. I want the people around me to understand how much I love them, and art does a better job of telling them than words ever could.

Ill help anyone who comments with their essay :)

Undergraduate / The art of learning- Stanford- What matters to you most and why [6]

Omg thankyouu! I totally understand

Undergraduate / For me, life happened the same way you fall asleep... Slowly, then all at once. COMMON APP [6]

I had always feared becoming the "forgotten" child from all the horror stories I had heard of them becoming the screwed up member of the family- who does them refer to?

I think you can give the person who assaulted you a name- it makes it more authentic and personal
I also think that you can elaborate more on how you have changed, after all, the essay is about your identity now.
overall I think its a brilliantly engaging essay. good luck!