Shaimaa
Dec 4, 2014
Writing Feedback / Traditional skills; keep them alive or let them die out ? [3]
Thanks for advice,Reza, you are right.
Thanks for advice,Reza, you are right.
Shaimaa
Dec 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / IEITS-It is better for people to be unemployed than people to be employed but they are not happy. [7]
It is not bad as a first attempt..
Try to rewrite the third paragraph,it is not clear enough.
It is not bad as a first attempt..
Try to rewrite the third paragraph,it is not clear enough.
Shaimaa
Dec 2, 2014
Writing Feedback / Traditional skills; keep them alive or let them die out ? [3]
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills & ways of life die out.It is pointless to try & keep them alive.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?
...
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills & ways of life die out.This is a fact that we can't change or even want to change whether we admit this or not. Development makes our life easier & more comfortable, so, we refuse to back to less developed life.
Development now involved in all aspects of life. We have a lot of examples here. In agriculture, the development helped the farmers by inventing complicated instruments. In the past, farmers were doing every thing in farming process by their naked hands using few & very simple tools. So, the new technology removed very hard works from their daily life.
In industry, also advanced machines saved time, effort & workforce as well. If we needed one thousand workers to operate a factory in the past, now we need maybe only one hundred or less to do the same work. Previously, hand-made things like clothes or carpets, for instance, were not very perfect, but by using new technological methods, they became better a lot.
Other aspect is paperwork which is about to disappear now. Bank accounts, financial deals, applications for jobs or even paper letters all of them were replaced by computerized operations & e-mails.
Also learning process changed completely. After using a wall black board & chalk in the past, now data shows & projectors. You can take lessons at any subject you want online without need to a teacher. You can get all information about definite some thing easily & fast using the internet without spending days, weeks or months search & read many giant text books.
Other two important sides are media & communications. The world was like a lot of remote isolated points, but now it looks like a small village. Any event takes place in the other part of the world you know it after it happened with few minutes or even at the moment it happens.
Generally, if we contrast the quality of life as a whole between the past & the present, of course the present wins.
Is it important to know the old traditional ways ?..Yes, I think it is important to know, just know, but it is pointless to try to keep them alive. What make us live using old ways if we have developed ones which are more comfortable ? Why do we choose to live difficultly while we can live easily with new technology ?
From my point of view, it is important to know the traditional ways to understand how our ancestors lived, how they adapted to the poor technological life & the last reason, that I think it is the most important, is how they were thinking about their life & how they tried to improve its quality bit by bit & step by step to reach the best position. I think that if we know the initial steps, that may lead us more forward to try to make our life & our kids' life more & more beautiful & easy.
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills & ways of life die out.It is pointless to try & keep them alive.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?
...
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills & ways of life die out.This is a fact that we can't change or even want to change whether we admit this or not. Development makes our life easier & more comfortable, so, we refuse to back to less developed life.
Development now involved in all aspects of life. We have a lot of examples here. In agriculture, the development helped the farmers by inventing complicated instruments. In the past, farmers were doing every thing in farming process by their naked hands using few & very simple tools. So, the new technology removed very hard works from their daily life.
In industry, also advanced machines saved time, effort & workforce as well. If we needed one thousand workers to operate a factory in the past, now we need maybe only one hundred or less to do the same work. Previously, hand-made things like clothes or carpets, for instance, were not very perfect, but by using new technological methods, they became better a lot.
Other aspect is paperwork which is about to disappear now. Bank accounts, financial deals, applications for jobs or even paper letters all of them were replaced by computerized operations & e-mails.
Also learning process changed completely. After using a wall black board & chalk in the past, now data shows & projectors. You can take lessons at any subject you want online without need to a teacher. You can get all information about definite some thing easily & fast using the internet without spending days, weeks or months search & read many giant text books.
Other two important sides are media & communications. The world was like a lot of remote isolated points, but now it looks like a small village. Any event takes place in the other part of the world you know it after it happened with few minutes or even at the moment it happens.
Generally, if we contrast the quality of life as a whole between the past & the present, of course the present wins.
Is it important to know the old traditional ways ?..Yes, I think it is important to know, just know, but it is pointless to try to keep them alive. What make us live using old ways if we have developed ones which are more comfortable ? Why do we choose to live difficultly while we can live easily with new technology ?
From my point of view, it is important to know the traditional ways to understand how our ancestors lived, how they adapted to the poor technological life & the last reason, that I think it is the most important, is how they were thinking about their life & how they tried to improve its quality bit by bit & step by step to reach the best position. I think that if we know the initial steps, that may lead us more forward to try to make our life & our kids' life more & more beautiful & easy.
Shaimaa
Nov 7, 2014
Writing Feedback / Effect of popular events on our life [8]
Louisa Mae, I rewrote my topic & I'm waiting for your advice about it again, please.
Rebekka Fox, could you mind if you give me your comment again?
Any group of people has its special event or events.The group may be small as a family or may be too large as a whole country or even groups of countries have some similar aspects as the religion for instance.Events also could be local popular events or international popular events.Here, I will talk about popular event of a whole country.
Popular events are extremely variable, they could be happy, sad, good, bad, important, scaring,...etc.Due to the wide range of variability of popular events, they have different effects on our life according to their types.
Some happy popular events are feasts.National days may be considered as happy popular events as well.Feasts enable people to escape a little bit from daily routine of work and release tensions arise from search the livelihood.Some people prefer to travel abroad or go to beaches as a kind of change.Others may like meeting friends or visiting grandmas & grandpas.Any way, feasts' days are always time of fun & entertain and they are also good chance to restore good feelings which sometimes disappear through busy, crowded & rapid life.National days of a definite country may be the chance to tell the children about the history they don't know.
Sad & bad popular events may be natural disasters such as volcanoes & earthquakes, or human-making such as terrorism, serious problems between countries & wars.All of these bad events affect negatively economy, trade, tourism & life style.
Discovery of new valuable metals or clean sources of energy & invention of device can produce electricity with avoiding pollution resulted from fossil fuels can be included in good popular events.
Elections & current political cases can also be considered as important popular events that every one should participate in & have private independent points of view about.This type of events has a major direct effect on all people in the country because it determines the future of the country by participating in selection of suitable persons with convenient ways whose can work on the development & push the country forward.
There are also another type of events that may be popular but not every body cares about as the sportive activities.They may be a safe way to release patriotic emotions.Here, I want to give a small example about effect of this point on me personally.About ten years ago, the final match of the Football African Cup was held in Cairo, the capital of Egypt.I don't care about football matches, I'm not interested absolutely in them, so, I didn't know this information.In the day of the match I travelled to Cairo for some private affairs.Unluckily, my target was in the streets nearby the stadium.I faced many difficulties to reach my target due to the closed streets in a very crowded city with intensive security units to ensure that the match would be held peacefully.Although this event is a very cheerful to some people,it left me a bad memory.
Last but not least, popular events have variable effects on our life.We are affected positively or negatively according to the sort of the event itself and according to what extent & how it can affect every one.
Louisa Mae, I rewrote my topic & I'm waiting for your advice about it again, please.
Rebekka Fox, could you mind if you give me your comment again?
Any group of people has its special event or events.The group may be small as a family or may be too large as a whole country or even groups of countries have some similar aspects as the religion for instance.Events also could be local popular events or international popular events.Here, I will talk about popular event of a whole country.
Popular events are extremely variable, they could be happy, sad, good, bad, important, scaring,...etc.Due to the wide range of variability of popular events, they have different effects on our life according to their types.
Some happy popular events are feasts.National days may be considered as happy popular events as well.Feasts enable people to escape a little bit from daily routine of work and release tensions arise from search the livelihood.Some people prefer to travel abroad or go to beaches as a kind of change.Others may like meeting friends or visiting grandmas & grandpas.Any way, feasts' days are always time of fun & entertain and they are also good chance to restore good feelings which sometimes disappear through busy, crowded & rapid life.National days of a definite country may be the chance to tell the children about the history they don't know.
Sad & bad popular events may be natural disasters such as volcanoes & earthquakes, or human-making such as terrorism, serious problems between countries & wars.All of these bad events affect negatively economy, trade, tourism & life style.
Discovery of new valuable metals or clean sources of energy & invention of device can produce electricity with avoiding pollution resulted from fossil fuels can be included in good popular events.
Elections & current political cases can also be considered as important popular events that every one should participate in & have private independent points of view about.This type of events has a major direct effect on all people in the country because it determines the future of the country by participating in selection of suitable persons with convenient ways whose can work on the development & push the country forward.
There are also another type of events that may be popular but not every body cares about as the sportive activities.They may be a safe way to release patriotic emotions.Here, I want to give a small example about effect of this point on me personally.About ten years ago, the final match of the Football African Cup was held in Cairo, the capital of Egypt.I don't care about football matches, I'm not interested absolutely in them, so, I didn't know this information.In the day of the match I travelled to Cairo for some private affairs.Unluckily, my target was in the streets nearby the stadium.I faced many difficulties to reach my target due to the closed streets in a very crowded city with intensive security units to ensure that the match would be held peacefully.Although this event is a very cheerful to some people,it left me a bad memory.
Last but not least, popular events have variable effects on our life.We are affected positively or negatively according to the sort of the event itself and according to what extent & how it can affect every one.
Shaimaa
Nov 5, 2014
Undergraduate / "Benvenuti in Italia!" - A part of who I am is Capri, Italy - FSU 2015 Summer Essay [4]
I'm a beginner,so my comment may be wrong.
You used a lot of different words & expressions to describe how beautiful was Capri.But in fact I didn't understand the relation between the beautiful Capri & your choice of Florida State University.
I'm a beginner,so my comment may be wrong.
You used a lot of different words & expressions to describe how beautiful was Capri.But in fact I didn't understand the relation between the beautiful Capri & your choice of Florida State University.
Shaimaa
Nov 5, 2014
Letters / 'I have imbued him with my teachings' - evaluation of a professor, supervisor - letter [5]
(he never takes shortcuts when it comes to coursework and special projects.)
I think here not -it-..use -they-
(He has participated actively for various social causes &...)
I think it is -participated in- ..not -participated for-
(he never takes shortcuts when it comes to coursework and special projects.)
I think here not -it-..use -they-
(He has participated actively for various social causes &...)
I think it is -participated in- ..not -participated for-
Shaimaa
Nov 5, 2014
Writing Feedback / Effect of popular events on our life [8]
I think you are right in your point of view.It is my first attempt,so it could be full of lots of mistakes.
Far away the point you criticized,I wanna know if you have other comments about using words & phrases if you allow.
I think you are right in your point of view.It is my first attempt,so it could be full of lots of mistakes.
Far away the point you criticized,I wanna know if you have other comments about using words & phrases if you allow.
Shaimaa
Nov 4, 2014
Writing Feedback / Effect of popular events on our life [8]
Our life don't miss popular events.Popular events vary from nation to nation.There are popular events which can be considered as international events.I think the only occasions that can be called international occasions are the sporting occasions such as the Football World Cup for instance.The Football World Cup is a huge competition and a giant challenge between teams from different countries all over the world.So,it can get fans and spectators from all countries whose teams participate.Long series of matches that thousands or even millions of people watch with deep contrast feelings:desire to win and fear to lose.This occasion can give us a chance to release patriotic emotions in a safe way.
[...]
Our life don't miss popular events.Popular events vary from nation to nation.There are popular events which can be considered as international events.I think the only occasions that can be called international occasions are the sporting occasions such as the Football World Cup for instance.The Football World Cup is a huge competition and a giant challenge between teams from different countries all over the world.So,it can get fans and spectators from all countries whose teams participate.Long series of matches that thousands or even millions of people watch with deep contrast feelings:desire to win and fear to lose.This occasion can give us a chance to release patriotic emotions in a safe way.
[...]
