Eve
Jul 18, 2009
Writing Feedback / The generation gap + Prevention vs Cure - help with these topics [6]
Yes
Thank you all :)
I'm confused: Are these two separate questions?
Yes
Thank you all :)
Eve
Jul 17, 2009
Writing Feedback / The generation gap + Prevention vs Cure - help with these topics [6]
1) "The generation gap is one which cannot be bridged." Discuss
2) "Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures.
To what extend do you agree with this statement?
1) "The generation gap is one which cannot be bridged." Discuss
2) "Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures.
To what extend do you agree with this statement?
Eve
Jul 17, 2009
Writing Feedback / Advertisements affects on consumer goods - ielts preparing [15]
You wrote that you have several reasons but you focused on only two points. I think you need to rewrite that part a bit.
like,
In my opinion, advertising is the major reason for high sales of a product for some reasons.
and in the next paragraph,
The main reason is,....
and some careless gramatical error (I know you're good at writing)
"The story delivers a desired call to drink that soft drink that people tend to drink when the weather is too hot."
Actually, it's not wrong but would it be better if you change that to which ?
I like this :)
I think you should link that two sentenses. It'll be more convenient to read. Try with the word "as"
In my opinion, advertising is the major reason for high sales of a product for several reasons.
You wrote that you have several reasons but you focused on only two points. I think you need to rewrite that part a bit.
like,
In my opinion, advertising is the major reason for high sales of a product for some reasons.
and in the next paragraph,
The main reason is,....
and some careless gramatical error (I know you're good at writing)
"The story delivers a desired call to drink that soft drink that people tend to drink when the weather is too hot."
Actually, it's not wrong but would it be better if you change that to which ?
When a product is commonly used, it becomes trustworthy for the society, no matter what quality it is
I like this :)
Considering this fact, advertisements have undeniable affects on the society about the product being advertised. They make the product preferable.
I think you should link that two sentenses. It'll be more convenient to read. Try with the word "as"
Eve
Jul 8, 2009
Writing Feedback / IELTS; SHARE WEALTH AMONG POORER NATIONS [12]
thank you trangquynh...i'm going to sit for IELTS in the coming August
thank you trangquynh...i'm going to sit for IELTS in the coming August
Eve
Jul 5, 2009
Writing Feedback / Tv's influences on culture... who can help me to correct this essay? [9]
You've made the reader a little bit confuse with subtitles and linkage words.For example,
ahmad
First bad influence
Governments usually use the media such as Tvs to generate false news to get public support.
Does it mean Firstly,for the bad influence,governments...?
or
Bad influence number 1?
You have a subtitle for the second paragraph but you went on to the third paragraph with a linking word Second
You better write like this,
Bad influence
Governments usually use the media such as .... unconscious special effect on elder too.
Good influence
Now, I will write about the benefits of media .... an eye in to the world around us.
And another thing is you should learn more of how to use punctuation signs.
In consequence, we can result effect of TV programmes can be both good and bad.
Of course against the filtering, parents should encourage their children to watch, and work with useful channels or internet sites.
Because without them there can be misunderstandings....
You've made the reader a little bit confuse with subtitles and linkage words.For example,
ahmad
First bad influence
Governments usually use the media such as Tvs to generate false news to get public support.
Does it mean Firstly,for the bad influence,governments...?
or
Bad influence number 1?
You have a subtitle for the second paragraph but you went on to the third paragraph with a linking word Second
You better write like this,
Bad influence
Governments usually use the media such as .... unconscious special effect on elder too.
Good influence
Now, I will write about the benefits of media .... an eye in to the world around us.
And another thing is you should learn more of how to use punctuation signs.
In consequence, we can result effect of TV programmes can be both good and bad.
Of course against the filtering, parents should encourage their children to watch, and work with useful channels or internet sites.
Because without them there can be misunderstandings....
Eve
Jul 4, 2009
Writing Feedback / IELTS; SHARE WEALTH AMONG POORER NATIONS [12]
Sometimes yes but err....I use to write all I have in my mind without organizing the ideas and I hate that habit. Better sort that out soon.. :)
Sometimes yes but err....I use to write all I have in my mind without organizing the ideas and I hate that habit. Better sort that out soon.. :)
Eve
Jul 3, 2009
Essays / first few lines of an essay about a person [4]
About yourself means the description about you like your name, age, family, etc. Is it your personal essay?
About yourself means the description about you like your name, age, family, etc. Is it your personal essay?
Eve
Jul 3, 2009
Writing Feedback / Changed in Everyday Life Caused by New Technology [4]
First, transportation: before they were using an old methods like camels, donkeys, and horses for traveling and carrying goods from their town to another town.and that is takeIt took a long time and a lot of dangerouslydangerfrom walking for days at the desert because there is a lot of w ild a nimals. So, they invented the new vehicles like cars, boats, trains, and airplanes. That is helps us to go to anywhere in a few hours without feeling of tired. For example, if someoneliving in Saudi Arabia and wants to visit his family in American or any faraway place he cannot come by his foot ,so these inventions let our lives more easier than before.
I'm not sure if one can use ":" in this paragraph. According to my knowledge capital letter has to follow ":" sign.
First, transportation: before they were using an old methods like camels, donkeys, and horses for traveling and carrying goods from their town to another town.
I'm not sure if one can use ":" in this paragraph. According to my knowledge capital letter has to follow ":" sign.
Eve
Jul 3, 2009
Essays / Essay about me and my friend who slipped into the waterfall - how to write it? [7]
Yeah Yan...you should question yourself like this "who,what,when,where,why" :)
That'll help you more easier to write.
I think Simone is talking about the high point and low point of a story. Are you Simone? Is "climax" means the high point of the story, which the part is the most exciting?
Yeah Yan...you should question yourself like this "who,what,when,where,why" :)
That'll help you more easier to write.
I think Simone is talking about the high point and low point of a story. Are you Simone? Is "climax" means the high point of the story, which the part is the most exciting?
Eve
Jul 3, 2009
Writing Feedback / IELTS; SHARE WEALTH AMONG POORER NATIONS [12]
oh! okay....I will come up with more stronger arguments next time. Well...the main difficulty I'm having when I write argumentative essays is I cannot think of strong supporting points for a main idea. I know that some of my lines are not very well reasoned but I'm still trying to get more stronger points.
oh! okay....I will come up with more stronger arguments next time. Well...the main difficulty I'm having when I write argumentative essays is I cannot think of strong supporting points for a main idea. I know that some of my lines are not very well reasoned but I'm still trying to get more stronger points.
Eve
Jul 3, 2009
Eve
Jul 2, 2009
Writing Feedback / IELTS; SHARE WEALTH AMONG POORER NATIONS [12]
Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the government of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?
In the community, there are poor people as well as rich ones. Some poor people receive help from other richer people but most rich people neglect the content ones. They just carry on with their own businesses without offering any help. as a result, poor people in a country remain penniless and if some unfortunate rich people bankrupted, the number of poor people will increase within a nation.
The same concept goes with much bigger communities, which are countries, nations and their governments. If wealthy nations do not offer any help to poorer nations, there will be less number of developed or even developing countries. As a matter of fact, the world can be exemplified as a one big family. Normally, in a family, affluent family members look after poorer ones. Therefore, as for wealthy nations, they should offer help to countries facing poverty. They are rich and have plenty of food and possessions. Should not they share some to poorer nations? It will be much beneficial in the future if nations help each other to develop.
Yet, another point to consider is that, at the side of the government of a poor country, the authorities have two choices; accept the help from outside or decline politely. First, they should check their financial condition which is country's income. If they are sure that they could cope to develop themselves, they should not accept the help offer. Thus there are other countries, with much worse conditions, which desperately need aids.
In conclusion, nations should help each other when one is in trouble. In this way, there will be increasing number of rich and developed countries in the world.
Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the government of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?
In the community, there are poor people as well as rich ones. Some poor people receive help from other richer people but most rich people neglect the content ones. They just carry on with their own businesses without offering any help. as a result, poor people in a country remain penniless and if some unfortunate rich people bankrupted, the number of poor people will increase within a nation.
The same concept goes with much bigger communities, which are countries, nations and their governments. If wealthy nations do not offer any help to poorer nations, there will be less number of developed or even developing countries. As a matter of fact, the world can be exemplified as a one big family. Normally, in a family, affluent family members look after poorer ones. Therefore, as for wealthy nations, they should offer help to countries facing poverty. They are rich and have plenty of food and possessions. Should not they share some to poorer nations? It will be much beneficial in the future if nations help each other to develop.
Yet, another point to consider is that, at the side of the government of a poor country, the authorities have two choices; accept the help from outside or decline politely. First, they should check their financial condition which is country's income. If they are sure that they could cope to develop themselves, they should not accept the help offer. Thus there are other countries, with much worse conditions, which desperately need aids.
In conclusion, nations should help each other when one is in trouble. In this way, there will be increasing number of rich and developed countries in the world.
Eve
Jul 2, 2009
Writing Feedback / True Friendship Essay (living without friends) [12]
I'm a new member here...please pardon me if my post is over criticizing.
I saw some grammatic errors in this essay but the idea is very good. Alexbig can write many points associating with friendship and choosing friends. By the way, FYI Alexbig...you should more linkage words like...Moreover, furthermore, however, etc. between your sentences. This will help the reader more convenient to read your essay.
I'm a new member here...please pardon me if my post is over criticizing.
I saw some grammatic errors in this essay but the idea is very good. Alexbig can write many points associating with friendship and choosing friends. By the way, FYI Alexbig...you should more linkage words like...Moreover, furthermore, however, etc. between your sentences. This will help the reader more convenient to read your essay.
Eve
Jul 2, 2009
Writing Feedback / Single career or several careers? Both have negatives and positives [4]
Oh! I now see my mistakes.
Thank you very much Simone.
:)
Oh! I now see my mistakes.
Thank you very much Simone.
:)
Eve
Jul 1, 2009
Writing Feedback / Single career or several careers? Both have negatives and positives [4]
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic:
The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.
Having single career or several careers is a case with many issues, which has both negative and positive aspects. Also, to be able to have several careers or to be promoted to a higher position at work, a person has to hold qualifications higher than a diploma or a bachelor degree. There fore, he or she has to attend classes for the rest of the life as education never ends.
In my opinion, attending classes while working is very tiresome because as a full-time worker, a person has to attend part-time classes like, classes at night, to achieve a specific qualification certificate. The person does not has time to rest as he has to go to classes after work, then come back home with piles of office works and lessons. Even on Sundays, he might has classes to attend. So, it appears that there won't be relaxation time for him. As a matter of fact, if he is not a person with strong spirit, he will definitely give up all he is trying and fighting. It is even worse if he is a money chaser with several career. Actually, this could even put him into madness.
However, there are always ways to solve problems. I believe that, although having several careers is good in some ways, this could drive a person crazy. Because he will has so much pressure. Therefore, the solution is to emphasise on one career and compete to get to a higher rank. The higher the position at work, the more money you are going to make. But you may indeed have to chase education to achieve promotion requirements, for example, to become a CEO, you have to have MBA degree.
Of course there are people who could deal with several careers plus further education but only a few make it throughly. Therefore, justify yourself, whether you can handle tons of works or you just want to go up slowly and steadily. Everything will benefit you in the long term.
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic:
The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.
Having single career or several careers is a case with many issues, which has both negative and positive aspects. Also, to be able to have several careers or to be promoted to a higher position at work, a person has to hold qualifications higher than a diploma or a bachelor degree. There fore, he or she has to attend classes for the rest of the life as education never ends.
In my opinion, attending classes while working is very tiresome because as a full-time worker, a person has to attend part-time classes like, classes at night, to achieve a specific qualification certificate. The person does not has time to rest as he has to go to classes after work, then come back home with piles of office works and lessons. Even on Sundays, he might has classes to attend. So, it appears that there won't be relaxation time for him. As a matter of fact, if he is not a person with strong spirit, he will definitely give up all he is trying and fighting. It is even worse if he is a money chaser with several career. Actually, this could even put him into madness.
However, there are always ways to solve problems. I believe that, although having several careers is good in some ways, this could drive a person crazy. Because he will has so much pressure. Therefore, the solution is to emphasise on one career and compete to get to a higher rank. The higher the position at work, the more money you are going to make. But you may indeed have to chase education to achieve promotion requirements, for example, to become a CEO, you have to have MBA degree.
Of course there are people who could deal with several careers plus further education but only a few make it throughly. Therefore, justify yourself, whether you can handle tons of works or you just want to go up slowly and steadily. Everything will benefit you in the long term.
