Unanswered [12] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by surfbort
Name: Justin Chang
Joined: Dec 28, 2014
Last Post: Dec 30, 2014
Threads: 3
Posts: 4  
Likes: 1
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 7
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surfbort   
Dec 30, 2014
Undergraduate / Duke strives for big- Why Duke [3]

If you are applying to the Trinity College of Arts and Sciences as a first year applicant, please discuss why you consider Duke a good match for you. Is there something particular about Duke that attracts you? (Please limit your response to no more than 150 words.)

More than anything, Duke seems to strive for big: the Blue Devils are the top in the nation in everything from basketball to golf; the campus size is one of the largest in the country; and it once even set the record for the world's largest cardboard box fort. Furthermore, Duke sets a standard for academic brilliance like almost no other school; their Department of Political Science is only one of the dozens of top-ranked national programs to which Duke is home. Like a kid in a candy store, I want a taste of everything, learning from as many different fields as I can; it's part of the reason why I want to join the Philosophy, Politics and Economics program. To me, Duke does the same; from the basketball court to the classroom, Duke gives a different taste of college to everybody, and in every quarter, Duke strives for big.
surfbort   
Dec 30, 2014
Undergraduate / Poop: It's only four letters, yet when combined together, provoke disgusted faces and nose-wrinkling [15]

I really wouldn't go into graphic detail like that. While it's humorous, it detracts from the serious and tragic tone you're setting in the rest of the essay- and beyond that, blecch. The readers might feel the same.

As for addressing the "why", it depends. Did you have any experiences with diarrhea that left you thinking how horrible it is, or did you know somebody with the sort of diseases you talk about? Those are just examples, if you have a backstory as to how you found out about this, by all means do it. That way you'll get that human touch in.
surfbort   
Dec 30, 2014
Undergraduate / Poop: It's only four letters, yet when combined together, provoke disgusted faces and nose-wrinkling [15]

I think you mean, "You would think that in this sanitized age"

I love how you introduce the topic, but I think your momentum peters out in the second paragraph. Just some parts of it seem confusing: Did we lose $250 billion due to poor sanitation, even though you just said our systems are the best, or does the rest of the world lose that amount? Is there a specific disease you are referring to when you say that it kills more than AIDS, or are you still talking about diarrhea? Just remember to tie your essay back to your original subject, poop, at the end.
surfbort   
Dec 29, 2014
Undergraduate / "Don't trust anyone" my parents constantly reminded me. Mexican Korean - Rice perspective supplement [3]

The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What personal perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice?

"Don't trust anyone," my parents constantly reminded me. "The moment you let your guard down could be the day you find a bullet hole in your chest." Strong words, but sadly not unreasonable. With the Mexican president's declaration of war on the nation's drug cartels in 2006, Mexico broke out into some of the worst violence the country had seen in a century; and as missionaries there for ten years, my family had front row seats through the worst of it. One particular day I was sitting in my room when suddenly the air exploded with assault rifle fire; as I later found, our neighbors had been gunned down in their own home, and the assailants were never found. Another day, gunmen invaded a rehab center near where my dad taught theology classes, killing nineteen people. By the time we moved back to the States in 2011, over 80,000 would be killed as a result of the drug war: politicians, journalists, soldiers, and our own friends. By nature, most Koreans are cautious people; the violence only served to kick that instinct up a notch in our own family. Our parents didn't allow us outside alone after dark. We raised a vicious dog who would end up biting five people by the time we left (although she was an absolute doll to us). One day a man made a threatening phone call to my dad, claiming to know our names and address; we unplugged the phone for two weeks after that, living in constant fear of a gunman arriving at our front gate.

When we moved back to the States, the biggest culture shock for me was the relatively absolute safety that we experienced for the first time. No longer did we have to check and lock three gates every night before bed, nor did we have to make a mental note of anyone who looked threatening on the street. More than anything, though, the sudden transition from anxiety to security made me realize all the more the opportunities I had missed as a result of our fears. Our precautions might have been necessary at the time, but living in constant terror is no way for anybody to live. In exchange for my cocoon of safety, what possibilities to connect with others might I have missed? Perhaps I might have made more friends, learned Spanish better or even discovered a better food cart that served tacos al pastor. The literal barricades I'd lived behind kept out not only danger but the chance for exploration, for discovery, for life. The dangers of my past life may have been unavoidable, but they can't stop me now from taking those mature risks that I could never have done then. At Rice, I want to be an example of daring to the new friends I'll meet, taking those (legal) risks that nobody else would dare, proving both to them and to myself that a period of worry should never lead to a lifetime of insecurity.
surfbort   
Dec 29, 2014
Undergraduate / "Sunday's donuts" - My dad's fight propelled my ambitions [5]

Some parts seem too affected by fancy words, or worded awkwardly altogether:
I had started to culminate a heavy aversion for the disease
I was overcome with a sense of anxiousness and familiarity to the hospital to my father's hospital
I hope to be the person that many others in my father's situation can see as a glimmer of hope during times that seem devoid of it.

Just keep it simple.

Great story, but I agree it needs a little more emotion. You talk about how certain things happened during your father's cancer; if you can adequately express exactly how you felt during those times I'm sure your essay will get you anywhere!
surfbort   
Dec 28, 2014
Undergraduate / Keeping my soul - a surfbort original for Rice [3]

Prompt: How did you first learn about Rice University and what motivated you to apply?

My first impression of Rice was a survey that ranked students there as the happiest in the nation. More than anything, that one statistic drew my attention. In my imagination, colleges weren't meant to be happy places; they were meant to be places of dreary and soulless lecture halls, constant worrying about grades, and late-night cram sessions where you study until your eyes melt into your fifteenth cup of coffee. So what made Rice students, including two friends of mine, not only enjoy their college experience but sing its praises like a new Star Wars film? For starters, the food certainly must help. Rice's dining halls have more certified chefs than any other university, which is fitting given the school's scrumptious name. The student life, too, seemed to play a key part. As an extrovert, I love making new friends; the residential colleges are a dream come true for me, as places where I can meet and hang out with so many different people at once, from all corners of the earth. And if my attending friends are any indication of the sort at Rice, the people I'll meet will make for some of the best four years of my life. A wise man whose name escapes me once gave advice that could have easily referred to my former idea of college: "What good is it if a man gains the whole world, let loses his soul?" For me, Rice is the only place where I can gain both.
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