Undergraduate / "Moral Strength" and real life confrontation - need help with FSU essay [7]

This is my rough draft i will be appreciative of any help i can get.

this is the prompt

For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

Vires, Artes, Mores aren't just a philosophy ,they are the essence of human behavior and how we adopt these philosophies in our lives displays what kind of character we posses. Human nature isn't plausible without Artes which is to express ones inner passion of creativity in the form of art, dance, and music or Mores which represents ones customs and traditions that allow one to embrace a concept of life to live by, but Vires is the one axiom that communicates my entire actuality into one word.

Moral strength is a phrase for explaining ones codes of ethic. Theses codes of moral judgment dictate how an individual reacts in life's many confrontations. A year ago, my best friend was dating a paragon of the perfect women. She was brilliant in every aspect, and possessed the most alluring personality. There always appeared to be some sort of minute attraction between us that neither of us admitted to. Every time that I was in her presents I was mesmerized by her gracefulness. After a period of time I didn't think I can restrain my feelings any longer and I had to express my affection for her. As soon as that realization materialize in my consciousness another one followed right after it, which was that if I announce anything it would damage or even annihilate any future friendship with my best friend, and that was unacceptable. By my evaluation of the situation I assured myself that the humane thing to do was to cease all emotions I have for her and that this action would save my relationship with my friend. That was an extremely arduous thing to accomplish but I did see it through. That occurrence demonstrates that I bear a moral compass of only right and virtuous ethics that I strongly adhere to.

Physical and intellectual strength go hand in hand. My belief is that if you can keep your body in a healthy state, your mind shall function at optimal efficiency. I engage in vigorous physical activity virtually every other day. When I return from the gym, I feel spectacular, yes I am bodily exhausted from the strain of working out, but my mind is sharp as ever. I am capable of performing any given assignment at considerable efficiency while producing outstanding work. When I do not partake in exercise, my body starts to deteriorate and I am not able to perform tasks like I used to. Therefore, to keep my mind agile I have to keep my body active, that's why my physical and intellectual strengths coincide in my life.

Artes and Mores are just as important as Vires, and those philosophies also partake in my daily life but I could not attribute them to my core personality. Vires is a true representative of my being, it displays that I carry the value of strength of great importance in my way of life. Whenever, I am put into any type of situation I will succeed in accomplishing it, and this characteristic I shall bear with me throughout all my life.

Undergraduate / 'in disbelief and shock after our win' - University of Florida essay [24]

Essay Topic

In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

"Yeah!" scream Sergey, my team member, from the stands. My teammate Howard and I have just scored five seconds later, we hear the buzzer. The stadium were quiet and everybody waits for the referees to count the scores. As I starts at the scoreboard, they announcing the scores and I see our team has grasped victory by only two points. I was in disbelief and shock; I couldn't utter a single word.

When I turn to the stands, my whole team jump up in excitement and run over to the d* screaming WE WON WOO HOO! Everybody give other high fives and hugging, exuberance emits from us because we have just won a state competition called the First Tech Challenge.

FTC is a robotics competition in where high schools create a robot to perform certain functions in a field, and after endless toils over robot, for 8 months, we have actually won first place in the whole state of Florida.

That was one of the most momentous achievements in my whole high school career. It all started back in September of 2008 when we first formed our team, which consisted of a close group of friends of mine. We received all of our building supplies and the information about the competition, next that, we went straight to brain-storming on how our robot will look and what type of functions it needed to perform. Everybody contributed ideas and after what seemed like a century of trial and error, we finally got a good idea on how we were going to build our robot, at least that what we thought. The building process meet with one failure after another; we built one segment only to see it interfere with another. Occasionally, the robot just refused to function whatsoever. This process of building continued for the following seven months until we finally finished the robot with great doubts in our mind of even coming close to 1st place. But we went ahead anyway, and it turns out that after all of our bickering, we constructed a decent machine. We took a step back, to analyze what we have created and. Doubts in even coming close to first place, crawled into everybody's mind about even coming close to first place. Regardless we went ahead, and it turns out that after all of our hard work we have constructed a decent machine.

These events will help me in my college, because they shows that no matter how much you think you have failed or how much you assume has thought me a lot about myself, all the doubts I had about the robot actually turned into a fuel that kept my mind working at optimal efficiency, so I had perceive any of the mistakes and correct them. The disbelief and uncertainty in my work sharpened my mind instead of clouding it. It proves that you should never give up, have integrity to push through all the hardships, and have responsibility to perform your duties as best and efficiently as possible, as a result, you will always be triumphant. This is the type of behavior I will bring to University of Florida, an analyzing mind that will push itself further and beyond all boundaries to be triumphant in my goals and dreams.

i will be thankful for any advice and opinions