Student Talk / Took the IELTS Today and didn't go as I expected :( [35]

I got 2 tables as well. I mean there was a list of age groups' responses to a questionairre about range of books and non-printed items in a local library. I have to do postgraduate and I need an overall 6.5 from each task. In writing task 1, I think I should have focussed on main features and ignore the rest of information instead of making few comparisons not to make it complicated. I think there will no other option for me but taking the exam again. Somehow, I have to prove that my English is good enough to be able to study at university. By the way, my hometown is Turkey.

Writing Feedback / I believe that police protection and good schools are the main factors to create an ideal community [19]

Is my mistake generalising this longing of constructing an ideal community for everyone? or would it still be wrong to make an introduction like that even if I did not generalise the issue.

Writing Feedback / I believe that police protection and good schools are the main factors to create an ideal community [19]

Thanks alot. See you in new threads : )

Student Talk / Took the IELTS Today and didn't go as I expected :( [35]

I am thinking to take the exam on 8th of August. Hopefully, I will do postgraduate in law. I hope you can achieve to recieve scholarship. I am sure you will achieve to write an impressive personal statement by the help people in here. You should at least try it, even if there is a little chance to achieve. I definitely will make comments on your statement if you post it here.

Writing Feedback / I believe that police protection and good schools are the main factors to create an ideal community [19]

Sean, I actually wanted to base my arguments onto my introduction, but then I have to touch different points which may make the essay longer than it should be. I think I can not just leave the statement there. What do you think about the essay in general. Does it meet the general requirement of an Ielts essay in contex ?

Writing Feedback / I believe that police protection and good schools are the main factors to create an ideal community [19]

Thank you

Writing Feedback / I believe that police protection and good schools are the main factors to create an ideal community [19]

I just have one question for Sean. Do you mean I should relate those two items I picked to the security of people after mentioning the most basic prerequisite for a strong community is security in my introduction, Then there will be connection between those items ?


I will soon bubuvio, but I first have few things to do so it might take a while. I also want to write an essay about the topic 'the age of invention'.

Writing Feedback / I believe that police protection and good schools are the main factors to create an ideal community [19]

Thank you Sean. I realise that it is not as hard when you keep it simple and support with logical arguments. There is no need to bring in extreme ideas.

Writing Feedback / I believe that police protection and good schools are the main factors to create an ideal community [19]

Lately, I am reading whatever I find, especially newspapers; also working on words and structures on others' essays and your comments.
It may sound like cheating (especially if getting prepared for Ielts exam, you know we wont be allowed to use dictionary etc) but I am also searching for the best academic word in order to express my thoughts during writing an essay to post here. Otheriwse I will just keep making sentences with the same words that I know. I have never attempted to write an essay in English before I visited here so I was a lot worse than I am now. Takes time but not impossibe.

Student Talk / Took the IELTS Today and didn't go as I expected :( [35]

Well, it is not too hard but it is easy to lose concentration because of limited time. It is not same as writing an essay in your room while having your coffee. Time goes faster than it normally does when you are under pressure. I am sure you will do well if you have previous experiences. Good luck

Writing Feedback / Advertisements affects on consumer goods - ielts preparing [15]

Thanks Eve. You are right about that 'several reasons'. I started a third argument but it did not make sense in the middle of the paragraph so I removed that.


I sometimes doubt whether I am using "as" correctly or not. That is why I avoided using "as" there.


I just noticed a mistake here as well.

Should be : As a result of this, the number of that product being sold increases.
It also appears that I couldnt connect this sentence well to the previous one.

Writing Feedback / The generation gap + Prevention vs Cure - help with these topics [6]

I would normally focus on "diverting from treatment to health education" instead of just supporting tratement or health education because I think 'diverting' is the key word there.

Or I am wrong?

Writing Feedback / Advertisements affects on consumer goods - ielts preparing [15]

I was referring to the soft drink as a subject of advertisement in that example.

Thank you those information about t'that' and 'which'. I sometimes make such mistakes.

Writing Feedback / Advertisements affects on consumer goods - ielts preparing [15]

Actually, I tried to touch that in my first body paragraph. I see that it was not strong enough.

Writing Feedback / Advertisements affects on consumer goods - ielts preparing [15]

I see. I think I have to keep asking the question 'why?' when I make statements.

Nowadays, we are so not used to get both generous and unpaid help that I want to thank you guys untill you get bored.

Student Talk / Took the IELTS Today and didn't go as I expected :( [35]

Good luck with the exam boonwah!

I hope we get a good mark trangquynh. I am just worried about the time passing. I mean I will have to delay everything to few months later if cannot pass the exam. Plus cost

Writing Feedback / Advertisements affects on consumer goods - ielts preparing [15]


Is it advertisements or real needs of people have the main affect on high sales of consumer goods. It was a topic like this, trang.


Oh I had no idea that several means at least there or more.


Yea I have seen some student essays where they replaced "several" with "many" to make the essay look formal. I see that I should avoid using it at least in the exam.

Writing Feedback / Not eveything that is learned is contained in the books [20]

Haha . My brain has a strange way of thinking. You are right. I have potential to get even the simpliest things wrong.

I thought it was generalized. Not just formal education. I mean the purpose of reading book for most people is self-development... bla bla. I know it is not a good excuse

Writing Feedback / Not eveything that is learned is contained in the books [20]

I just checked the topic again. It is as you corrected, without "the". Why does it matter with or without "the" ?

I sometimes get topics really wrong. I never seen this topic before so I did not think it would be directly related to formal education.

Yea there are lots of different types of book. I was freaked out during brainstorm :). I just wondered if the type of books meantioned in the topic include novels or etc. I could have written an essay without touching different types of book but at the same time I wanted to consider your advises so far. (making logic, brainstorm)

No no I am not putting myself down. I am just trying to fix it. I like when you guys say my mistakes directly.

Writing Feedback / Not eveything that is learned is contained in the books [20]

Than you trangquynh. Yea the topic is easy, I was not struggling with finding ideas. I just thought it might be a little tricky.
Yea that happened when I was writing about pollution too. Well I just hope it it won't happen again.
Thanks for your comments

Writing Feedback / Not eveything that is learned is contained in the books [20]

Books have been the major source of knowledge for individuals since the beginning of their educational life. However, reading book is not sufficient in itself as a source of knowledge. People also gain knowledge from experience throughout their lives.

It is now possible to attain a detailed information about any subjects in any areas by reading books. However, it can be easily forgotten if it is not supported by an experience about the information that is learned. Books cannot provide that experience. At high schools, chemical experiments are a part of chemistry classes. A student who attends to those classes can intensify the knowledge of an experimental process with putting that knowledge into practice by an experience. On the other hard, it would be more possible to forget that knowledge for a student who does not attend to those classes.

Books take the most important part in individuals' educational life, from the first level to the most advanced level. However, one who does not put the knowledge gained from books into practise, might fail in the following steps of life. In particular areas such as physic and law it is important to put knowledge into practise. In most countries law and physic graduates are not allowed to practise as a lawyer and doctor unless they intern in courthouses and hospitals for a particular period. This is because gaining knowledge from books is not sufficient in itself to be able to success in those areas. A physic student has to have experience additional to the knowledge gained from books in order to be capable of dealing with patients.

While books provide us detailed information about what we are searching for, experiences give us the opportunity to observe. I believe that observation skill is an important factor improving learning skills. Learning about a different culture from books does not make the same impression on one who visits that country and learns about that culture in place. Being in that environment and learning about that culture from the first hand is more effective than just reading about that culture.

To sum up, I believe that gaining knowledge from experiences is more effective than gaining knowledge from books. We can learn lots from books but experience is essential to intensify the knowledge.

Writing Feedback / Not eveything that is learned is contained in the books [20]

mmmm... Yes.. I should have touched 'gaining knowledge from books' in the last body paragraph instead of giving another evidence about importance of experience ? or touching it in conclusion would be enough ?

Btw, did anyone see any major gramatical or structural error ?

Thank you

Writing Feedback / Not eveything that is learned is contained in the books [20]

Thank you... I dont want to dig it as I am not expected to touch different types of book in an Ielts exam. Obviously formal education was meant in the topic.

But...
"Not everything that can be learned is contained in books" is the topic. I checked few times in different places. So I was right to consider other type of books during brainstorming and generalizing the issue ?

And thanks to everyone commenting on this thread

Student Talk / Took the IELTS Today and didn't go as I expected :( [35]

I got 6(overall) out of 9 from Ielts as I needed 6.5. Grr.. was so close :P. It seems like I will have to bother moderators for another month with my essays : )

I want to thank everyone who made effort to help me.

Trangquynh, I am looking forward to hear good news about your exam results.

Student Talk / Took the IELTS Today and didn't go as I expected :( [35]

Yea, there is another test on 8th aug. I am just not sure if I should take that one or study for another month and take the one in sept(5). I really dont want to risk it this time.

Grammar, Usage / My teacher claims my essay was too ambiguous and general.. [7]

You can give examples supporting your statements. It is actually hard to give an efficient answer to this, since we havent seen any of your essays. I recommend you to post an essay here and see what others think about it.

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Being creative rather than planning. [16]

I agree with John.


How would you give 3 arguments about this fact? ... by giving three different examples?

If I write about this fact in the first paragraph, then I struggle to start second paragraph.
How about writing about planning in the first paragraph, then writing about creativity in the second paraprah and arguing that the combination is best in the last paragraph.

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Being creative rather than planning. [16]

That absolutely helps Sean. No diggin, no confusion, thinking simple and fast. Thanks for the advise.

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Being creative rather than planning. [16]

.. change(s) rapidly .. here 'rapidly' is adverb because it is adding to the meaning of the verb 'change'

.. a rapid change .. here rapid is adjective because it is describing the noun 'change'

"In rapidly changing modern society" here ' change' is verb, not noun. That is why you cannot say "In rapid changing modern society"

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Being creative rather than planning. [16]

I think it is 'susceptible', not suceptible.

Writing Feedback / Ielts essay: living and studying overseas [6]

Thank you Simone
overall, does it seem like an avarage essay or below avarage ?

Btw, there is one more task we have to do inorder to get a good score. It is about describing graph. You know I cant draw the graph here. I think it is to examine student's abitiy to describe figures to people who cannot see it. Would you comment on those if I post here ? Maybe that would be strange.

Writing Feedback / Ielts essay: living and studying overseas [6]

Thanks both.
I will avoid using those pronouns.

Writing Feedback / Not eveything that is learned is contained in the books [20]

Thanks for the comment Sean. I decided to take the exam in Sept. instead of Aug.. I dont think I improved my writing enough to be able to get a good score. I think I have to re-write these essays I posted here. That will be better than coming up with new topics and essays without improving the previous ones.

Writing Feedback / Dangerous sports and activities - for fun, money, or for nothing [11]


I sometimes use this word instead of 'ignorance' and I was told that sounds weird : ) Ay difference between those two words ?

Writing Feedback / Travel Versus Saving Money (IELTS test prep essay) [4]

Thanks guys for the corrections.