Essays / Need help on writing a major essay on Global Warming (Climate Change) [4]

Thanks for the reply but you didn't address the other issue of natural causes or give advice on why to choose either side.

By the way I think I'm leaning towards anthropogenic influences for the cause of the warming.

Undergraduate / '24-hour trip from America to Syria' someone who impacted my life [3]

First off, its not recommended you start your essay with a quote, unless you have a legitimate reason to do so.

I also would have to agree with the above poster to make your sentence structure longer so it flows better. Use commas instead of so many periods.

Make more information on your quotes. Generally speaking you should have one sentence introducing the quote and then 2-3 sentences explaining the significance.

Good luck!

I hope these tips will serve you well.

Essays / My essay is on drugs - start and conclusion [3]

Hello,

Yes, your correct you need to sum up everything in an organized matter. Drugs have their advantages for people who are in need of them, but also can destroy people's life depending on the substance, how often they use and how long they have been using it for. Those are the people who choose to abuse drugs, and the physical addiction can be to strong for them to stop.

Try and rework your thesis and add all your four body points into the conclusion. Make sure the last sentence is good one the reader will remember.

Writing Feedback / I think there is too much violence in movies. [6]

I agree with syddy and think the rating system alerts you the amount of violence. Also yea the video game issue...that destroyed some of my academic life sadly...

Did you back up that increase in crime rates with a reliable source?

Writing Feedback / Some students prefer to study alone - TOEFL Question [9]

I like your writing style. I like to study alone by the way because I can focus better! :)

Book Reports / Hills Like White Elephants by Ernest Hemingway [4]

Yes, well, I'm thinking its going to be argumentative since the other two books he could choose are Othello and 1984. I don't know any details but the story is fairly hard to interpret and he said watch out for symbolism. We have to write two essays one on this story then another one on 1984 or Othello.

Book Reports / Hamlet and the Theme of Death! [7]

Do you have to do it on that topic? Vengeance is a better one in my opinion.

Book Reports / O'connor, "Good Country People" - fixing my Thesis statement [6]

I think you're thesis should be one sentence. Sorry I'm no good at creating them!

Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

Here are my first two body paragraphs:

With Chris's type of autism he communicates in a very unique way and can get overwhelmed when people talk to him. In his mind things need to be done a specific way and he does not like to take orders. If people start to ask him many questions his brain cannot interpret the information properly and he can have a meltdown. "He was asking too many questions and he was asking them too quickly." (Haddon 7) Shown here his brain cannot process the information and he cannot think what to say in response. Even if he's speaking with an authority figure his brain seizes up and he will start groaning and lie down to isolate himself from the situation since his communications skills are not developed, and this is his way of communicating. Christopher also will scream to communicate that he is not happy "I needed to keep my watch on because I needed to know exactly what time it was, and when they tired to take it off I screamed, so they let me keep in on. (Haddon 13). Many autistic children have unique ways of getting their message across; this could vary from screaming or becoming violent. When things don't go his way this is the only way he can express himself. Physical contact is another way to communicate with one another and people with Asperser's can be touch sensitive. Through this connection we can make deep connections with others, which they really never feel. "He held up his right hand and spread his fingers out in a fan. I held out my left hand and spread my fingers out in a fan and we made our fingers and thumbs touch each other... I do not like hugging people so we do this instead." (Haddon, 16) . Since Chris is special his condition makes him feel threatened if someone wants to touch him, even it's in a good way. Touching for him is very uncomfortable and could result in severe reactions. This system allows Chris to show his emotions which he still doesn't understand how they work.

Christopher does understand the basics of emotions but finds most confusing and cannot interpret what there meaning is. Somebody who is diagnosed with this syndrome often cannot explain their feeling at certain moments. Others can read emotions in one's face but that individual may not be able to distinguish what they are feeling. Since people's faces moved it was a challenge for Chris to understand one's emotions. "But it was difficult to decide which of the diagrams was most like the face they were making, because their faces moved very quickly" (Haddon 3) Chris cannot figure out what people are feeling since his brain is wired differently and can get confused when trying to diagnose people's feelings. His teacher also tried to make cards with faces on them but this did not help him very much. This limits the way he can express his own emotions ultimately be social with people. His restrictions to understanding ones emotions can also lead to violence. "And you started to shout and I got cross and I threw the food across the room...And you grabbed the chopping board and threw it and it hit and broke my toes" (Haddon 108) Since Chris doesn't have the ability to express anger he resorts to violence to show this emotion. He carries a Swiss Army knife on him at all times and will use it if tempted. Violence in association with Aspersers has been well known since it's a way they express emotions. That said violence is not linked with Aspergser's but if the right individual is provoked and does not know how to deal with emotions, tragedies can occur. Though these people have emotional handicaps some of them, like in Chris's case can understand some emotions which is a start to learning about others. "I decided to leave him alone because when I am sad I want to be left alone" (Haddon 21) Notice how Chris learns from his own emotions than rather learning from others. He has to do this since he cannot read people properly unless in rare cases like these. Many people who have this high functioning autism express themselves in a very unique way such as hitting there ears when something is so loud or have physical meltdowns when they are upset. Most suffers have amazing memories and are able to live a good life including a job they love.

Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

Yes, but I do that for all my essays. I need a unique way to show all my sub topics.

Please can you help me with this?

Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

If I said that would he penalize me of not mentioning how the syndrome effects emotions,memory, communication and intrests? Because I need to have all 4 in my thesis or he will mark me down since those 4 are the topics of my paragraphs.

Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

Hows my intro looking? -please help me with my thesis I know its bad ;(

Aspergser's syndrome is a unique form of high functioning autism which affects how the brain is wired. The difference is that these individuals cannot connect information that they learned with the real world therefore many of them have difficulty in social situations. Many of them have social dyslexia where they would feel embarrassed in a social environment and feel handicapped when trying to establish emotional bonding and social relationships. For that matter people who are diagnosed with Aspergser's have extreme difficulty starting and maintaining a social life. The syndrome does come with its advantages though, as many are incredibly bright and focus on their interests and obsessions for long periods of time. It was stated that Albert Einstein had Aspergser's syndrome since he had many symptoms and was heavily involved in physics for decades. In the curious case of the dog in the night-time, Mark Haddon illustrates the how the protagonist Chris Boone lives with this type of autism and how it affected his communication as well and how he understands emotions in addition to providing him with an excellent memory and his interests drive him face his fears and figure out the mystery. This syndrome is very unique and each one who is effected has similar symptoms.

Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

yes you're right thank you!

When I have an intro paragraph I will post it

"emotion, perception, and cognition" doesn't cognition and perception mean the same thing?

For my four body paragraphs I'm using Communication, ability to understand emotions, excellent memory and his obsessions which lead him to face his fears and find the killer.

how is that?

Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

Ok please help me out with my thesis ;) The first question is just to introduce the syndrome bare in mind.

Mark Haddon's The Curious incident of the dog in the night-time demonstrates the effects of Asperger's syndrome and how it effects the development of the brain. Christopher's case of this syndrome affects his communication and his ability to understand ones emotions, in addition it has provided him with an excellent memory and his obsessions drive him to find out the mystery.

Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

He had talked to Ms.Alexander before hand.

Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

Liebe

I didn't mean it in that way...sorry if it sounded like that.

The father only had one major outburst when he actually pounded him.

Other than that his mother left him with his father partly because she saw how well they got along.

Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

Maybe it's been a while since you read the book?

Here's an example to show that Chris was fearful of the world:

"FEARtotal=FEARnewplaceXFEARnear father= constant"- one of Chris's equations to explain fear

Overall he was patient with Christopher more and only had that one outburst.

She was very hot tempered with him and would throw things around the house. Ed would tell her she was taking it to seriously and needed to calm down.

" This is a very gripping murder mystery, as the writer Mark Haddon takes his readers inside the mind of someone who views the world entirely different than most people do. Christopher is diagnosed with autism and adores puzzles therefore is a great character to investigate the murder of a black poodle, Wellington." -Better now?

Thanks

Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

This is my symposium so far please edit it for me and tell me what else it needs:

Character Analysis:

Christopher Boone: An autistic 15 year old boy who is the novels protagonist. He is a mathematical genius, but cannot interpret people's emotions properly. Through his eyes the world is terrifying place where jokes can cause confusion and new places can lead to extreme fear. He sometimes overcomes these fears with isolation himself or working on math.

Ed Boone: Christopher's dad who is very patient with him but his dishonesty breaks up their relationship. He works as a heating engineer and took care of Chris for 2 years since his dad told him his mom died.

Judy Boone: Christopher's mother who is very hot tempered but learns to cope with Chris's disability and really cares for him.

Siobhan: A teacher who works at Chris's school. She is Christopher's friend and mentor and teaches him how society works and how he should act accordable.

Mrs. Shears: Christopher's Neighbor who owned the now murdered dog, Wellington. Her Husband was known for having an affair with Christopher's mother.

Mr. Shears: Little is known about this character, but later on we find that he's actually a selfish man.

Wellington: A Large black poodle who was killed with a garden fork.

Mrs. Alexander: Christopher's elderly neighbor who attempts to help him.

Toby: Christopher's pet rat

Summary:

This is a very gripping murder mystery, as the writer Mark Haddon takes you inside the mind of someone who views the world entirely different than most people do. Christopher was diagnosed with autism therefore he adores puzzles and is a great character to investigate the murder of a black poodle, Wellington. His autism however creates severe problems so that if someone has physical contact with him, he would get really angry and become violent. This makes him an interesting detective since he cannot interpret people's emotions beyond what his mentors had taught him, so he must follow certain rules he learned as well as face his own fears to solve the mystery. The simplicity of Haddon's writing creates a descriptive world of what Christopher is going through. The author writes in a way that you understand how Christopher's mind works and allows the reader to understand what is going on even when Chris is oblivious. This short read will go by quickly, but the true meaning of this reading will last much longer.

Essays / "The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned [26]

Ok well I'm down to the wire now and this the final stretch.

I need to do a book symposium on The Curious incident of the dog in the night-time.

You probably know the point of the symposium is to tell my classmates wow this is great book and would encourage them to read it, without telling to much of the book.

I was thinking of telling them how difficult it is having autism and how normal everyday tasks are incredibly challenging, but even still Chris is able to find out who killed Wellington.

Please tell me what you think and tell me what I should add and stuff!

Thanks

Book Reports / Argumentative essay on 1984 - Outline [40]

Hmm my topic sparked quite the argument ;)

Undergraduate / "Want to be a doctor" - Penn State, personal statement [26]

Hopefully I can write essays like that in the future!

Undergraduate / "Experiences or accomplishments that defined me as a person" [5]

I thought I was needy ;)

Book Reports / Argumentative essay on 1984 - Outline [40]

Please disregard my last message.

How is this argumentative thesis?

The Government of Oceania controls the people very effectivly through mistrust and torture, but this is not a moral way to treat people because people deserve to live freely.

Can I talk about the paradox of the Ministries if I use this thesis?

These are my arguments but found it hard to expand upon them.

-The Ministries do have total control over the people so that anything they say people will believe and in that sense poeple seem fairly happy

-but this is not the right way to treat people because they are really believing carefully contructed lies

-Torturing people does get the Party to believe what they want
-but this act is not right and there should be other ways of manupulation if its nessary.

I'm finding this difficult and risk failing so any help on this would be appreaciated!

Thanks

Book Reports / Argumentative essay on 1984 - Outline [40]

Sorry to interrupt your discussion.

I thinking about the paradoxical nature of this novel and was wondering if you could help me think of an argument for my essay.

Book Reports / Argumentative essay on 1984 - Outline [40]

For my topic could I argue that when Oceania was practicing communism it inevitability lead to totalitarianism.

Is this really an argument though and if its not true how could I manipulate that thesis so it makes sense?

Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

EF_Sean

Thank you for your analysis. I have the tendency I guess to summarize when I don't have a deep understanding of whats going on, which unfortunately happens quite a lot. These were my teachers comments, perhaps you agree?

-at times you have some pretty solid ideas, others are lost in your lack of explanation
- Sounds too conversational
- treat all as past events

Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

Thats what I usually score but I'm trying to get into University so its not good enough. Heres the essay:

Jealously Consumes
Jealousy has been part of human existence since centuries ago, and can affect all kinds of people, from the poorest beggar to the wealthiest king. It's powerful enough to lead men to steal, lie, cheat and display other horrible acts towards their friends. The emotion has the ability, if used by the right individual to change insecure people's minds into thinking the truth. In this case the truth was deceit. Furthermore the feeling can also cloud ones thoughts so that jealousy overpowers all other feelings. In William Shakespeare's play Othello, he portrayed and developed the topic Jealousy consumes people through hatred, misplaced trust and revenge which eventually leads to tragedy. The first step towards jealousy in Othello is hatred against a Moorish general.

Hatred in this play was one of the initial emotions in the characters that lead to tragedy. Iago, who was currently third lieutenant of the army in Venice was jealous that Othello promoted Cassio to second lieutenant. This act caused Iago to hate Othello and think of a way to get back at him.

"Despise me
If I do not. Three great ones of the city,
In personal suit to make me his lieutenant,
Off-capped to him; and, by the faith of man...
Nonsuits my mediators For 'Certes,' says he, (Shakespeare I,I 8-11/17)

Iago was jealous because he thinks he deserves that rank much more than Cassio. Cassio only learned battle techniques from books Iago mentioned. In addition three important noble men from Venice asked Othello to promote Iago, but Othello still went with his decision. This jealousy was only the beginning of what's later to come and what was ultimately going to destroy Iago. Iago's jealousy and hatred increase when he suspects that Othello slept with his wife.

"I hate the Moor,
And it is thought abroad that 'twixt my sheets
He's done my office. I know not if't be true,
But I, for mere suspicion in that kind,
Will do as if for surety" (Shakespeare I, III 430-434).
Iago doesn't really have any proof of this happening, but he believes it anyway. His hatred for Othello made him believe this vague rumour being spread. Clearly his jealousy from previous scenes has made him gullible to believe anything Othello did, even if it was a rumour. Near the ending of the play, when Emilia realizes that Iago used his jealousy induced scheme to cause all the horrible acts he committed, she had great hate for him. ."If he say so, may his pernicious soul Rot half a grain a day! He lies to th' heart." (Shakespeare V, II 190-192). Emilia knowing that she helped her husband do these terrible deeds she blabbered out everything which then in turn made Iago stab her out of hate for the truth knowing his scheme was ruined. His evil plan was created in the first place when he persuaded people to believe him, which he used misplaced trust, to attack people's weak points.

The plays tragic flaw was caused when mistrust was used against Othello and Cassio which leads to jealousy. Earlier on in the play in Iago's soliloquy he states that Othello was of free and open nature. "The Moor is of a free and open nature, That thinks men honest that but seem to be so" (Shakespeare I, III 442-443). Iago was speaking about Othello and telling that he was an honest and open minded man, and that his plot will work to his advantage because of that. Also, Othello already knows that Iago was fairly honest since he probably worked with Othello for sometime; hence he was third lieutenant and has earned respect. Iago uses Othello's honest spirit against him so that Othello rewards Iago with a promotion to second lieutenant. "Come, go with me apart I will withdraw, To furnish me with some swift means of death For the fair devil. Now art thou my lieutenant." (Shakespeare III, III 543-546). This was a major mistake made by Othello since his trust for Iago has risen even though what Iago told him about his marriage was untruthful. Iago can now cloud Othello's mind with jealousy which overpowers his love for Desdemona. Later on, in the play when Iago proves to Othello that Cassio was indeed cheating on him Othello's jealousy skyrockets. Ironically this entire plot was created by Iago and his ability to be perceived as an honest man when his reality was full of lies. As Othello listens to the conversation of Iago and Cassio, Othello was influenced by Iago's mistrust because of what he was told earlier on about the affair. "I marry her! what? a customer! Prithee, bear some charity to my wit: do not think it so unwholesome.Ha, ha, ha!" (Shakespeare IV, I 137-140). As Othello was interpreting what was going on, he has no doubts not to believe what Iago was say earlier was true. Not only was Othello's mind clouded by mistrust but so was Roderigo's. He was also foolish and easily manipulated by Iago's false honourable nature. Iago also states that he's a fool and it's easy to gain money this way. "Thus do I ever make my fool my purse: For I mine own gain'd knowledge should profane, If I would time expend with such a snipe. But for my sport and profit."

(Shakespeare I, III 426-429). Since Roderigo was jealous of Othello marrying Desdemona he was willing to sell all his land. Then they will both to go Venice since booth of them have issues their. Both of these dishonest despicable schemes forced Cassio and Othello to plan their revenge, ultimately killing them.

In Iago's final steps towards domination he gets rid of Cassio, while Othello is fuelled with false revenge, thus leading to his death. Iago has made Roderigo jealous through revenge, when he tells Cassio has been sleeping with Desdemona. "Besides, the knave is handsome, young, and hath all those requisites in him that folly and green minds look after: a pestilent complete knave; and the woman hath found him already." (Shakespeare II, I 267-270). Rodrigo finally believes that Desdemona and Cassio are having an affair he will pick a fight with Cassio which also conquers a bit of Iago's revenge since he heard a rumour that Cassio slept with his wife. Roderigo also does this act out of revenge since he loves Desdemona. So he does carry though with the plan and frames Cassio. "Beat me?/ Dust thou/ prate rouge?" (Shakespeare II, III 157-158). Roderigo successfully got Cassio fired and extinguished a bit of Iago's jealousy in the process. The next crime Roderigo commits will be his last. Iago, still fuelled by revenge plans a scheme with Roderigo to eliminate Cassio so that he cannot take Othello's place and Desdemona will not leave Cyprus. Really Iago wants both Cassio and Roderigo to kill each other since if any one of them lives it will jeopardize his plans. "I know/ his gait/, 'tis he/.-Villain/, thou diest!" (Shakespeare V, I 124). Roderigo was pumped with lust and revenge when attempting to kill Cassio since of the alleged rumours that he was sleeping with Desdemona. Iago was so focused on revenge that he kills Roderigo to hide he truth and keep his treasures. On the other hand Othello, blazing with rage and revenge heads to Desdemona's room. Once he arrives he cannot believe what she was saying and thinks she's was lying, even though Desdemona truly loves him. Her love for him was exaggerated when she went against her father word to marry him, but Othello was too jealous and it has consumed the love and truth that Desdemona was trying to show. He smothers her and then when he learns the truth he cannot take the truth of what he did and stabs Iago out of pure revenge. Not successful in killing the villain he commits suicide. "Of one not easily jealous, but being wrought Perplexed in the extreme" (Shakespeare V II 405-406). He could not take the guilt of what he had just done. Othello could now live with the lies that lead him to this horrid vengeance.

The play Othello, William Shakespeare described jealousy through hatred, misplaced trust and revenge which all eventually lead to tragedy. Initially hatred against Othello began when he promoted Cassio instead of Iago, as well as the rumours that he was sleeping with Iago's wife. Emilia also hated her husband for the jealous plot he planned. Next Iago uses Othello's open and free nature to cloud his mind with lies of the affair Cassio was having with his wife. He also gains Roderigo's trust and tricks him into thinking that he will help him be with Desdemona, since their both against Othello. Lastly, jealousy leads to revenge when Othello kills his wife even though she was truthful, Othello was brainwashed by lies and his love was overpowered. Iago's revenge was going as planned until his wife tattled the truth. Othello's revenge leads him to kill himself, because he couldn't continue to live with the deeds he committed. Jealousy was an evil emotion and one should be careful who he or she trusts, and have an independent mind which cannot be manipulated by lies.

Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

I tried my best but no matter how hard I try I always seem to EPIC fail!

Thank you for your help. I only got a 68%.

If you want I could post up my essay.

Book Reports / Argumentative essay on 1984 - Outline [40]

could someone shoot out a few more topics I could write for this argumentative essay please?

Book Reports / Argumentative essay on 1984 - Outline [40]

hmm but do the proles even listen to the BB? They don't even have telescreens but I guess they hear from it from riots and such, yea you're right.

But how can I write 4 body paragraphs on this? Keep in mind this is my first argumentative essay

Student Talk / Took the IELTS Today and didn't go as I expected :( [35]

I'm going to be taking something similar as well. Hope its not to tough.

Writing Feedback / Narrative Essay (Warning: slightly depressing)! [11]

Its a great essay IMO. How long have you been writing for?

Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

EF_Simone
well that was only part of the essay ;) its due right now and I was up all night

I'll let you know how I did!

thanks

Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

Alright here is my third attempt, please tell me what you think and edit. I will try to embed love into this as well.

Jealousy has been part of human existence since centuries ago, and can affect all kinds of people, from the poorest beggar to the wealthiest king. It's powerful enough to lead men to steal, lie, cheat and display other horrible acts towards their friends. The emotion has the ability, if used by the right individual to change insecure people's minds into thinking the truth. Even though they are only believing lies. Furthermore the feeling can also cloud ones thoughts so that jealousy overpowers all other feelings. In William Shakespeare's play Othello, he portrayed and developed the topic Jealousy consumes people through hatred, misplaced trust and revenge which eventually leads to tragedy. The first step towards jealousy in Othello is hatred against a Moorish general.

...

Writing Feedback / Similarities of Love and Jealousy in today's society - Dreaded Shakespear [42]

EF_Sean

Sorry but I don't understand you're logic here. I understand you're main points but I could not come up with enough information to prove the points. Like I said I really am a bad reader and cannot just pull great ideas out of the air like you guys.

I'm going to resort to Jealousy destroys everyone through hatred, revenge and mistrust since I think its my only option here.