Writing Feedback / Cbest - At some point in our lives, all of us have focused some sort of rejection or defeat [2]

Pls help and correct my essay. I have Cbest this weekend.

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At some point in our lives, all of us have faced some sort of rejection or defeat. Write an essay about a time in your life when you experienced such a rejection. How did the rejection affect you?

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Most people think of rejection as a negative experience. We are quick to become discouraged when we are defeated. However, there are many valuable lessons to be learned in the face of rejection. The occasion of my rejection and humiliation was not getting into the institute of fashion designing. I suffered many defeats during the selections, but these defeats helped me to refocus my efforts and improve my performance considerably.

My sister Sara has always been role model to me. I used to follow every path she chooses. When she decided to become a fashion designer, I became automatically interested. She is creative, artistic, imaginative and passionate about fashion designing. After seeing how much she is enjoying this program I decided to follow her path of fashion designing too. I was not very good in drawing sketches so I worked hard on my drawings and didn't have a knack for color, textile detail and style. I spent hours working on a small sketch to be perfect like hers. I was not able to pass the pre-qualification test and hence, did not get into the program.

I was really disappointed, that I didn't get selected. I didn't feel like talking to anyone or doing anything. I really got disheartened and was clueless what to do next. My sister tried talking to me but I couldn't understand her point of view. My mind was clouded with all negative thoughts.

I wanted it so badly that it never occurred to me that maybe it wasn't for me. The rejection helped me realize that I need to work hard and follow my dreams and passion rather than my sister's. When I got over my self-pity, I started working towards my goal in computers. It was hard but I was enjoying and finally found my passion. Eventually the rejection became the driving force behind my success. I often speculate on what type of fashion designer I would be if I got admission in fashion designing program last year, but I am certain I wouldn't be as dedicated and focused as I am today.

Writing Feedback / The US always supported others who lost everything in natural disasters or to help build democracy [3]

Cbest essay-The U.S. is becoming a nation of spectators - Need advise

I have finished reading and mathematics sections on my CB EST. Writing test is coming very soon. I just came to know about this wonderful website.. Pls help and give feedback on my essay so that i can improve my writing skills.

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The quotation ""The U.S. is becoming a nation of spectators - people who prefer to sit back and observe rather than a nation of doers. " is a controversial one. Some people agree that the U.S. is becoming a nation of spectators and that people do not work hard, spend a lot of time watching TV and less time in getting involves in their children schools, in building and strengthening the country. Others disagree with the quotation and they feel that the U.S. is one of the strongest and developed nations who participates and help other nations in case of any catastrophe or political issues between the countries. People are much more involved in community work and politics than in any other nations. After thinking carefully I do not agree with the quotation that we are becoming a nation of spectators especially when it comes to our politics, the education of our children, and our communities.

In schools we have PTA, where parent volunteers help teachers in their every day work. Parents and teachers work jointly helping students reach their goals. For instance PTA in my son school organizes fundraisers like walk-a-thons to sponsor more programs like music, AR and field trips in schools. Programs like walk-a-thon makes children feel proud of themselves that they are helping raising money for school activities. Being born outside US, I can tell parents here are more involved in the children's life than any other place.

Being the strongest and developed nation the US takes responsibility of helping other nations in case of any catastrophe or other political issues between countries. In 2010 when Haiti was hit by a major earthquake, the USAID has provided relief, recovery and long-term reconstruction assistance. The organization called the bureau of international labor affairs have been setup since 1993 to combat child labor, human trafficking and forced labor which are still prevalent in many under developed nations.

In communities, people can petition the government on some issues to get attention. Last year my daughter's preschool teacher found out that she has cancer and she was so worried how about the cost associated with the treatment. All parents and teachers came together to help raise the fundraiser to support her. I did not see happening in my country. So many non-profit organizations are there to help and support people with all kinds of problems. We also have organizations to help and rescue animals.

In conclusion, I want to say that I don't agree with the quotation that we are becoming the nation of spectators rather than doers the US has always been there to help others who lost everything in natural disasters or to help built democracy in other countries. People work together in building and strengthening communities and schools.