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Posts by archii
Name: Rebecca Shen
Joined: Dec 23, 2015
Last Post: Dec 24, 2015
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: United States
School: Jamesville-Dewitt HS

Displayed posts: 5
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archii   
Dec 24, 2015
Undergraduate / Cornell Architecture essay: How my interests combine [3]

thank you so much! My common app essay is all about figure drawing. I don't think i have room for architecture there :( And as much as I want to talk about my interest in Cornell, I find it hard to not simply repeat information from pamphlets or their website. It's a struggle.
archii   
Dec 23, 2015
Undergraduate / Cornell Architecture essay: How my interests combine [3]

Why are you excited to pursue your chosen major in AAP? What specifically about AAP and Cornell University will help you fulfill your academic and creative interests and long-term goals? (Please limit your response to 650 words.)

I might not have realized it a few years ago, but I have prepared my whole life for a future in architecture. One of my top priorities is preserving our Earth. My friends call me a "vegetarian tree-hugger," as I always push them to carpool from cross country practices, utilize reusable water bottles, and participate in Meatless Monday. Through architecture, sustainable design can be achieved physically, and I would be honored to be a part of that movement.

As a multifaceted individual, I have always had a broad scope of hobbies. Several years ago, I found a community of sites hosted by a virtual pet website. Through countless hours of trial and error, I was able to establish my own, functional website from scratch after studying code from tutorials and other sites' page sources. This was the beginning of my investment in computer science.

Surprisingly, my newly created sites were met with success! After several years, my sites, named __ and __, collectively displayed over 1000 graphics, including premade layouts and pixel art, and received over 160,000 page views. It was the artistic content and excellent service of my sites that led them to eminence. I provided "layout requests," by which other site owners (who were perhaps unequipped with coding or layout-designing abilities) asked me for customized layouts for their own websites. When my "customers" were satisfied, I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. I realize now that fulfilling those requests have made a lasting impact far greater than acquiring the ability to code and create graphic art: I want to help others bring their imaginations and vision to reality. Architecture is unquestionably a means of fulfilling this goal, as I would turn ideas into occupiable structures.

Architecture also excites me because I am an avid artist. Drawing is my most prominent hobby, one from which I find the most exclusive of comforts: nothing beats the satisfaction of completing a piece that I've put so much thought and observation into. Drawing is like a growing plot in a fictional novel-at first the foundation is laid, and as more details emerge and build upon each other, a wonderful piece of art is created, resonating in my mind forever. Like how I used my artistic Photoshop skills to make graphics for my websites, I want to incorporate my artistic talents into my academic endeavors.

When I recently visited cities such as Pittsburgh, Boston, and New York City, I observed how the dynamics in architecture create the distinct moods of different locations. I.M. Pei once said, "Life is architecture, and architecture is the mirror of life"; I couldn't agree more. My concern for the environment, strengths computer science, dream of bring ideas to reality, and devotion to drawing can be combined into the medley of architecture. Architecture fascinates me because it defines our surroundings on both a technological and aesthetic level; architecture has always had a timeless emphasis in art and design, but now, it is increasingly environmentally-conscious and computerized in design.

Cornell University's distinguished architecture program will push me to my highest potential. The rigorous 5-year Bachelor of Architecture degree with an architecture-majority courseload would prepare me with the skills, discipline, and knowledge to become a licensed architect. I realize the intensity of the program, but I feel confident enough to pursue it; I've prepared for Cornell's rigor through working at challenging summer internships at the Air Force Research Laboratory and pulling all-nighters to finish art projects I was so engrossed in. In addition, I'm excited to bring into the program my diverse scope of skills and experiences, specifically in computer science, graphic design, and drawing.

As I walked through the studios of Sibley, learned about Cornell in Rome, and spoke with the talented Julian Pulacio, I was inspired by the spirit of Cornell's architecture department. In the studio, I observed the bustling of undergraduates and the impressive work laid out on desks; I sensed the dedication, felt a rush of comfort, and thought, I see myself here. My life is an architectural arcade: each column and arch represents my experiences, hobbies, and hopes, and together, they are leading me down the path to architecture at Cornell.
archii   
Dec 23, 2015
Undergraduate / I need help to nail my common app essay about my background for Hamilton College [2]

Dating back to 2008, Zimbabwe faced one of the worst economic depressions. Mother is a teacher at a local primary school and F ather is self-employed (You are using "Father" as a name)

My parents did not divorce and we were always happy because love kept us bound together. This line seems slightly cliche. Perhaps take out the divorce part.

"During my childhood I only played with my brother and I was not used to playing with other kids of my age." <-- This sentence might sound better as: During my childhood, my brother was my best companion. You do not want to sound like you had trouble communicating with others.

In the paragraph about the Gokomere Living Rosary Association, you should emphasize more the intimacy of the interactions you felt with that activity, rather than mostly stating what you did. Although you touched on it in the last few sentences of the paragraph, it should've been done throughout that paragraph.

Your last paragraph is direct and I can feel your passion. However, the last few short sentences may be excessive and some don't flow well into the next. I like the effect they have, but you may have overdone it. If it was me, I would change it to: I faced challenges but stayed motivated. I was humbled to be in the midst of people from different backgrounds. I drew strength from these families. I became stronger.

Overall, I like how your brought together the two "types" of family you have been a part of. Your story is unique and interesting and you have impressive writing and story-telling skills. Definitely an essay that caught my attention.

If you get the chance, can you look over my Cornell essay? Thanks.
archii   
Dec 23, 2015
Undergraduate / Ever since I began high school as a short, geeky freshman, I could not wait for college WHY SYRACUSE [5]

Hey, I'm also applying to Syracuse University!

Your answer is fine, but it may sound cliche, as many students also research the schools they're applying to online. Did you visit SU? What is it about SU that is truly unique amongst other colleges?

Also this sentence needs some revision:
"Syracuse's history program is perfect for me in that it gives me the perfect education for my next step in life after college: law school. "

The word "perfect" is used twice. And, what makes the program "perfect" exactly?

I also agree with @amounenaitlho. Let Syracuse University know that you are an avid reader of their newspaper. Maybe even include your favorite article and why you liked it so much.

If you get the chance, could you also read my SU application answers? Thank you!
archii   
Dec 23, 2015
Undergraduate / 'spirit of education' - Syracuse University Questions: Hasn't been seen by anyone! [2]

Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University? (Maximum: 250 words) (SU)

Since I moved to the United States 15 years ago, I lived in a total of four states. My dad is currently a full professor at Syracuse University, the first school that has actually caught my attention out of the various colleges my dad has worked at.

Syracuse University's renowned and rigorous School of Architecture is where I dream of spending the next five years acquiring the knowledge and skills to receive the professional Bachelor of Architecture degree. When I visited the School of Architecture in Slocum Hall, I thought I would only leave with some brochures. I was pleasantly surprised when I was given an on-the-spot informational interview and personal tour of Slocum's studios by Amy Pangborn. Then, we bumped into the School of Architecture's dean, Michael Speaks, as he walked through the halls. Michael accompanied me on the rest of the tour, speaking enthusiastically about study abroad in Florence and London, recent lectures by Fei Wang, and even a competitive architecture contest that SU students won second place in, beating out other architecture firms. Never before have I had such a personal college visit, enriched by the passion and spirit of the faculty.

Undoubtedly, it was Syracuse University's spirit of education that influenced me to apply. My dad, as a professor, and the faculty at the School of Architecture, like Amy and Michael, showed me that Syracuse University genuinely cares about each individual student.

Who is the person you dream of becoming and how do you believe Syracuse University can help you achieve this? (Maximum: 250 words) (SU)

I dream of becoming an individual who can inspire people through my creative works. As an artist, I have always enjoyed seeing the faces of my parents, friends, and teachers light up when they view my artwork. However, it is critique, not admiration, that truly pushes me to never stop improving. I am extremely driven, and will stop at nothing to find solutions. There is no doubt that given Syracuse University's rigor, I will come across difficulty and criticism. Syracuse University will push me to constantly improve myself.

As a concerned environmentalist, I dream of taking part in the revolution of reversing the disastrous impact humans have had on our planet. Through architecture, I can achieve this goal. Syracuse University has had a history of setting precedents and educating renowned individuals, such as Joe Biden, who are currently creating big change.

I hope that when I become an architect, my works would be both aesthetically appealing and environmentally friendly. If and when people admire my works in the future, I would have Syracuse University to thank for helping me reach my fullest potential.
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