Undergraduate / TAMK UAS - I want to become an Energy & Environmental [6]

Dear, here is my brother motivation letter to apply the Bachelor in Energy and Environmental Engineering, as part of requirement together with entrance exam. In the letter, he should include following information:

Why you are applying to degree programme in Energy and Environmental Engineering?
Do you have previous experience from this field?
What is your educational background?
Have you taken any English language test, evaluate your English skills informally.

Please help me and him to check it, Any correction and suggestion are welcome!

When I was small, I have been interested in natural phenomenon such as electricity origin, desertification or environmental pollution. My teacher once suggested me to learn engineering. However, since I thought engineering is all about fixing machines, I did not want to come any further.

Begin a new life as a high school student, my mother always asked me about what subject I like to study in university or what job I like to do in future career. One day I unexpectedly slipped I page of newspaper and read that a farmer invented a new source of energy from sesame. People complimented him on the first page but it seems no further action was taken. I asked my mother the reason why they did not bring this achievement into industrial production. She joked:"This must be done by young generation engineer like you." Maybe that time she only joked but a thought appeared in my mind:"WHY NOT?"

I started to study about what an engineer do in environmental industry. I found that being an environmental engineer, I would be able to construct project for developing new sources for renewable energy, as well as carry out environmental sampling and analysis. Thus, I decided to take Energy and Environmental Engineering as my future career.

For quite a time I have been searching for universities and have found that Finland is the place where my dream will be carried out. Finland is one the leading users of renewable energy in EU and in the near future this area will continue to grow as a global industrial sector.

I am not only going to Finland for studying, but also to achieve advanced knowledge and skills for working towards my personal career goals and international training experience. By applying to Tampere UAS, I will have an opportunity to study in multicultural and multilanguage environment with high modern system university. Furthermore, I will also have a chance to gain a double degree in Germany with good academic performance. With the IELTS 6.5 achieved in summer 2015, I have been well prepared to attend the entrance examination in April 2016, to prove that I have passion and ability to become one of Tampere students.

In a nutshell, all the above reasons lead to the fact that I am eager to join in Tampere UAS. It will provide me with a solid start in life to reach the final frontier of becoming a Environmental Engineer.

Graduate / Personal Statement of MPH - Education, research & experience [8]

Hi, I am applying to the MPH program in two universities and I need help in my personal statement, which need to state my prior education, related experience and my thesis research. One is unlimited words and one require only 250 words. Below is my final draft, which is 846 words. Please help me to review it and see how I could rewrite it in 250 words for second PS.

Thank you very much.

It began when I had finished my first year university. Like most of students, eager to gain experience, I decided to join the student club and participate in different school events. I went to help all school events, from talking shows to ceremonies and parties, but not too enjoy them. After all, I "thought" that this was more about social experience, not much related to my study. Since I was studying Pharmaceutical Management, I thought that I was going to work in drug companies. In fact, I was still unsure about what I need to focus and what I should do.

Then come to the day I visited Children Aid Home as part of school event for orphanage. Like most of my classmate, However, I found very difficult to reach to children here. I do not know which disabilities they have and shy to ask the caregivers. In the first time, I had a thought that I was underestimate what is called "volunteer".

At the time when I started to give up, I met couple of exchange students from Kenya and New Zealand. I was surprised to see that they could communicate with disability children though they did not study in specialty healthcare and even more, they did not remember how many work and project that they have joined. A truly volunteer would not bother how many project that they help. They just come to do all what they could help. Two different countries with two different economic level, I never thought that they were so alike in opinion. Each minutes talking with them, I feel that I was so naïve. I started to remind myself and realized, how careless and robotically I am during volunteer. Volunteer is giving a hand willingly, but I had made it like a duty to fill up my resume. It does not mean that volunteering in NGOs or public health would not be benefit to a Pharmaceutical business student. The minor subject in business management is also a big help if I could know how to use it. I have a board interest in many field: healthcare, nutrition, diet, gardening, art and music. Why would I not use it? Rather than looking in one way, I started to open my eye and see what I could learn and what I could achieve based on my own knowledge.

I started to go hospital, clinic, nutrition department, not as "duty volunteer" or "experience seekers", but as an individual student who need to learn. I met different doctors and nutrition experts, asked to shadow the process of clinical interview to watch the reaction of participants. I went to the gym to listen and to know how people maintain their health and control their disease with diet and activities. I asked for the advice from volunteers, from a third world country to a developed country, to know the health problems occurs in real life. I joined in the business trip of my family company in furniture production, to see with my own eyes about what is behind the glory words about worker healthcare and benefit. Not all information were needed for my graduation research, but the knowledge I gained was far more than in the books.

Time goes by, I had become a different person. I went to volunteer as Science explainer in Science Centre Singapore. It was not an easy work as I thought. Half of the visitor here could not communicate in English, most are children. I met the similar problem, but I was not merely a "CV filler" before. This time, I was not only a listener, but also a guilder. I presented my knowledge in chronic disease to visitor, give them a guide in healthy eating and show the kids how to grow their vegetable at home. At the time I saw their sparkling eyes while listened to my talk, their laugh when harvested their own plan and their eager to find answer for their childish question, I feel that I found my real way.

It is not about interest or hobbies, it is what I can do it. Public Health is not only about cure the disease in poor country. It's also include making a good foundation in human and economy resources for building a better healthcare system and guiding people to live better in their environmental conditions. To do this, I cannot only go to volunteer several hours a week and sit in front of the laptop for freely online course. I need to study in system and a guide to learn how to use my knowledge in correct way.

"Better late than never", I may not study Public Health from the beginning but that would not stop me to go for healthcare way. By applying the Master Degree in Public Health in a developed country with modern healthcare system, I will have a great opportunities to develop my knowledge, as well as to be trained to gain necessary skills to successfully work and develop healthcare and nutrition project for worldwide population.