aparecium321
Sep 29, 2016
Undergraduate / Transfer common app essay. I'm a freshman in community college and looking for transfer to UMass [7]
I think you spent too much time describing how you decided to become an engineering technologist. I couldn't make out what your reasons and objectives are for transferring. When you are addressing this prompt, you should get right to the point on your reasons. At the very beginning, it should be a brief introduction that reveals something about you (you can write a short description of how you came to your major, but don't dragged it out through your essay, a short dialogue, small story, event, etc.,) And at the very end you can write about your objective, like "My objective is..." You need to clearly explain why you are transferring to this particular school. Write what UMass offer that your current school does not. You talked about your disappointment with NHTI's program, but make it clear why you want to take UMass's program instead. What makes UMass's program different from NHTI's? You can talk about other reasons, like the environment, location, diversity, etc., and how that will contribute to your growth or studies.
I hope this helps. Good luck! :)
I think you spent too much time describing how you decided to become an engineering technologist. I couldn't make out what your reasons and objectives are for transferring. When you are addressing this prompt, you should get right to the point on your reasons. At the very beginning, it should be a brief introduction that reveals something about you (you can write a short description of how you came to your major, but don't dragged it out through your essay, a short dialogue, small story, event, etc.,) And at the very end you can write about your objective, like "My objective is..." You need to clearly explain why you are transferring to this particular school. Write what UMass offer that your current school does not. You talked about your disappointment with NHTI's program, but make it clear why you want to take UMass's program instead. What makes UMass's program different from NHTI's? You can talk about other reasons, like the environment, location, diversity, etc., and how that will contribute to your growth or studies.
I hope this helps. Good luck! :)
