JuanSebastianR
Feb 9, 2016
Undergraduate / Transfer admission essay for Georgia Tech. I need help forming an excellent essay which I lack of. [19]
Hi VANGIESPEN and everyone else,
Your feedback has been very helpful. I revised the essay, and I am now below the 2000 character count. I did not include it in this essay, but my dream is to become an astronaut for the NASA Space Program. It is why I am pursuing a degree in AE to design spacecraft, and work my way to the graduate and Ph.D. level, which will give me the necessary experience to be a potential candidate for NASA's space missions. Please let me know if I should include this information in this essay. My dream is to find or pave the way to finding another habitable planet, and I want to be a part of it here on Earth and out in deep space. Here is the revised essay:
{Beginning of essay-
I look to the skies and planets beyond our immediate galaxy for my studies in Aerospace Engineering (AE). Inspired by the successes of Neil Armstrong and SpaceX, I wish to pursue a career in the STEM field of AE that will allow me to help our space program develop to the point where space travel will become as ordinary as riding a car, just that my developed vehicles will travel light years into space, reaching new human settlements on Mars and planets located in habitable zones within our universe. This is the dream that I hope to turn into a reality through the study of this program.
Attaining a degree in AE at Georgia Institute of Technology will allow me to become an expert on propulsion systems and further research on solar electric propulsion, which has proven to be effective in deep space programs. Working with GT's Center for Space Technology and Research (C-STAR) will give me the necessary skills to implement a solution and design an effective propulsion system for intergalactic space travel. With the help of a research team, I will design and build a spaceship that will take us to other planets in a shorter time frame.
Designing an effective propulsion system will open the door to the opportunity of finding a habitable planet. With this success, we will get closer to the discovery of other life forms. There are other planets in other galaxies living in habitable zones around their sun star but getting there would take thousands of years. This newly designed spacecraft will be capable of reaching those planets and will open up the possibility of an exchange of intellect on a higher level.
Finding another Earth will get us closet to knowing the essence of our existence in the universe. Perhaps we will meet other life forms that are far more advanced. Perhaps there are other worlds that have not been habited and are able to sustain human life. My goal is to continue in this search for life beyond Earth before our time here on Earth runs out.
-end of essay}
Hi VANGIESPEN and everyone else,
Your feedback has been very helpful. I revised the essay, and I am now below the 2000 character count. I did not include it in this essay, but my dream is to become an astronaut for the NASA Space Program. It is why I am pursuing a degree in AE to design spacecraft, and work my way to the graduate and Ph.D. level, which will give me the necessary experience to be a potential candidate for NASA's space missions. Please let me know if I should include this information in this essay. My dream is to find or pave the way to finding another habitable planet, and I want to be a part of it here on Earth and out in deep space. Here is the revised essay:
{Beginning of essay-
I look to the skies and planets beyond our immediate galaxy for my studies in Aerospace Engineering (AE). Inspired by the successes of Neil Armstrong and SpaceX, I wish to pursue a career in the STEM field of AE that will allow me to help our space program develop to the point where space travel will become as ordinary as riding a car, just that my developed vehicles will travel light years into space, reaching new human settlements on Mars and planets located in habitable zones within our universe. This is the dream that I hope to turn into a reality through the study of this program.
Attaining a degree in AE at Georgia Institute of Technology will allow me to become an expert on propulsion systems and further research on solar electric propulsion, which has proven to be effective in deep space programs. Working with GT's Center for Space Technology and Research (C-STAR) will give me the necessary skills to implement a solution and design an effective propulsion system for intergalactic space travel. With the help of a research team, I will design and build a spaceship that will take us to other planets in a shorter time frame.
Designing an effective propulsion system will open the door to the opportunity of finding a habitable planet. With this success, we will get closer to the discovery of other life forms. There are other planets in other galaxies living in habitable zones around their sun star but getting there would take thousands of years. This newly designed spacecraft will be capable of reaching those planets and will open up the possibility of an exchange of intellect on a higher level.
Finding another Earth will get us closet to knowing the essence of our existence in the universe. Perhaps we will meet other life forms that are far more advanced. Perhaps there are other worlds that have not been habited and are able to sustain human life. My goal is to continue in this search for life beyond Earth before our time here on Earth runs out.
-end of essay}