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Posts by xutong
Name: ivy ma
Joined: Feb 26, 2016
Last Post: Apr 3, 2016
Threads: 3
Posts: 6  

From: us
School: purdue university

Displayed posts: 9
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xutong   
Apr 3, 2016
Book Reports / SUMMARY and RESPONSE to "Story of an hour" by Kate Chopin [2]

this is for an english class. the requirements are having good summary+good response+clear main point+clear analyses

Summary and Response

Louise Mallard is a fictional woman who craves for independence but was trapped in a society where it is not socially acceptable for her to be so. She behaves according to social expectations in front of others while she also keeps her inner thoughts alive. She has always known that deep in her heart, all she wants and needs is freedom.

The story is about Louise's emotional and physical response to her husband's death in the brief time span of about an hour. In the very beginning, the author lets us know that Louise has a "heart trouble". Easily it would let readers to believe it is a physical one-heart disease. But as the story goes on, we start to doubt if it's a psychological problem-whether she has been suppressed her individual will for years. The story begins by the process of letting Louise know that her husband has died. Then, the author described how Louise responded to her husband's death in front of other people. Her emotion in appearance changed immediately after she went back to her room. Having locked the door, Louis realized that she is finally free. Only at this time, her husband walked in the front door, leaving Louise shocked to death.

She is different than other women, at least in the fictional time period she lives in. "She did not hear the story as many women have heard the same, with a paralyzed inability to accept its significance"(Chopin, 1894, p.1). The author let us know that while she stayed relatively calm hearing the death of her husband, at the same time, "most women" would have been devastated. They would not have thought of anything besides the lost of a loved one or the loneliness they were about to go through, let alone thought of being free. She shed her tears one time, in the beginning, which makes me wonder if she had actually loved her husband at all. With the company of her husband's friend Richard and her sister, it seems only reasonable to cry a little, so she did. But soon after, she went into her room to make sure she has some time for herself and made sure no one followed her.

In her room, she sat down with a "physical exhaustion"-again, not the normal thing people would have felt. Would she be really sad, she would have not been able to breath, or feel really sad by her heart. But she didn't. The reason that she felt so physically exhausted was probably because of all the acting and pretending to care she has to show other people. Now she could see. She could finally notice all the beautiful things in the world, and all the free souls outside of this household-rain, peddlers, and sparrows.

"There would be no powerful will bending hers in that blind persistence with which men and women believe they have a right to impose a private will upon a fellow-creature." (Chopin, 1894, p.2).

Louise has a strong understanding of the relationship between female and male. She loved her husband sometimes but she knows that as long as he was there, she had no absolute sense of freedom. And when he had died, she finally found her own individualism. She finally was free. "Free! Body and soul free!" (Chopin, 1894, p.2). she kept saying, kept reminding herself that her own freedom was so much more important than the love she only gets sometimes from Mr. Mallard, than the sense of possession she always felt Mr. Mallard has on her. Now she is absolutely free of her own will. "Free, free, free!" (Chopin, 1894, p.2). She said it over and over again to herself.

But when she finally "opened and spread her arms out" (Chopin, 1894, p.2). for the new life she had in front of her, she realized that her husband was not dead. In fact, he just walked into the front door. She died of not the joy that her husband's being alive brought her, but I fear the fact that the live she's been dreaming to have was not possible anymore. In fact, the moment when she husband just walked in through the door, the self she just discovered she had has already died. There was no information gave as in the background of Louise nor how her relationship really was with her husband. But we can guess from the context that in the society Louise lives in, it is probably unacceptable for her to be free. Which is also why she pretended to be sad while her husband's friend was there and secretly relieved when she was by herself.

From the whole story, Louis says over and over again that she wants to be free. She sees all the free creatures while having to pretend to obey the social standard to mourn her husband's death. She was born to be free, but not at the right time.
xutong   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK I: cell-pone market share - upward trend in Nokia, Motorola, and Sony Ericsson. [2]

the topic says: selecting and reporting the main features.
so except for you analysis to which sell phone brand's percentage is going up/ down. I would add this to the beginning:
The purpose for this chart is to comparing the market percentage each top cell phone brand takes, of which ..... is going uphill while... is going down
xutong   
Apr 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Task 1 : mobile phone manufacture for two consecutive years (2005 and 2006) [2]

Hi is this a report listed under an excel chart? I don't really understand this essay. Because to me, this is not an essay at all, it is just some data analysis stuff for statics class. would you plz provide more information so that I can know what this is supposed to b?
xutong   
Feb 28, 2016
Undergraduate / 'I, as an individual, could make a difference'; GT-LEADERSHIP, PROGRESS AND SERVICE [4]

Leadership, progress and service.

Prior to my study at college, I was trained to follow the instructions made by my teacher at school and my parents at home. I did not have any chance to make my own decisions in life. College in the U.S. is a completely different place for me. During my first semester at Purdue, I came to realize that my classmates are all highly competitive and independent. So obviously, my study "method" at high school would not work any longer. I observed that my classmates are not only smart, but they also work extremely hard for their dreams and goals that they want to achieve.

The first C I ever got in my life waked me up. I have never been average in my life. I started to think how to stand out in my class and what are my dreams and goals in life. I put myself totally into school work because I crave for excellence. With all my efforts, I finally got very good scores in most of my classes during the summer semester.

In the past two years in the U.S., I was also exposed to more stories about women being underappreciated or uneducated than I have been in my past 18 years. The women in Africa would iron their breasts to avoid being raped. Malala was shot because she believed in female education. Yoyo Tu proved herself to be just as intelligent, if not more, by winning the first Nobel Prize for China. This is the first time when I realized, that I, as an individual, could make a difference. I came to understand better about the leadership, which would definitely make me take initiatives to change the world and help others. Utilizing what I have learned at college will bring goodness to other people's life. I love to learn even more in order to achieve my goal-building low cost computers for the unprivileged people. My understanding of leadership is to motivate and influence people. I truly believe in what I do and I love doing it. The maize grinder I built in our car designed for Cameroon made me realize the knowledge and technology I have learned would help me offer the services to the needy people.

I revised it a little. I realized it is still not to closed to the topic and i probably didn't really mention progress. Also, I don't know where to put my leadership experience. I am a teaching assistant right now but besides that I don't have many.
xutong   
Feb 27, 2016
Undergraduate / 'I, as an individual, could make a difference'; GT-LEADERSHIP, PROGRESS AND SERVICE [4]

The motto at Georgia Tech is leadership, progress and service. Describe how you have demonstrated this motto over the past three years.
(i don't really know how to end this essay)
(And I didn't talk about service as much cuz i particularly talked about my purdue utility project( build cars for cameroon, Africa)in my other essay)

(is my storyline clear enough??)
(Thank you so much for looking through my essay!!!!!)

Before College, I never actually put in as much work in school. Yet somehow I always get by with good grades. College is a completely different place. Something I never realized before is that at here, everyone is selected. So obviously, my study "method" never works anymore because even though people are smart, they work extremely hard because they have a goal or a dream that they want to achieve, while I didn't.

Soon, I got a C during my second semester. And I freaked out. I have never been average in my life and I hated it. I started putting more and more work into school.

I read through textbooks; I studied the notes; I do exercise questions. And I improve myself after tests. I put in work because I crave for excellence.

During the past two years in the US, I was exposed to more stories about women being underappreciated or uneducated than I have in my past 18 years. There are Cameroonian women who iron their breasts in order to not be raped, there is Malala who get shot because of her belief in female education, where there is also Yoyo Tu who proved herself to be just as intelligent, if not more by winning the first Nobel prize for China. This is when I realized, that I, as an individual, could make a difference. What I learn in university is just as useful with helping me making a difference. I love to learn even more and I know I have to understand everything in order to achieve my goal-building computers.

My understanding of leadership is just to motivate and influence people. I truly believe in what I do and I love doing it. In my Purdue Utility Platform team I build the maize grinder for our car designed for Cameroon. I know how great corn flour could be because my grandma would always tell me the stories when they didn't have anything else to eat, corn flour was the best thing in the world. Knowing what they are experiencing, I know they need help.
xutong   
Feb 27, 2016
Scholarship / All about me - Letter of self-introduction for KGSP (Korea Language and Culture) [2]

insert how you made this choice and why you wanted to be a teacher at the first place On my way to goal there are many things happened to me, it were bad and good momentswhat bad and what good moments? tell me more and now I understand that after going through all of thiswhy still want to be a teaher

im sorry but i don't understand this sentence. what the financial investments? So I'm very hope that KGSP will help me to overcome this obstacle and I in turn will make every effort to meet your expectations.

actor kind of means fake or acting it out; you probably wanted to say a musical performer or a grand performer or something It was obvious that he likes his job and gets great pleasure, therefore people likes him too. Confucius said "Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life".

don't make it too much about yourself. like how much opputuniteis there are for you. instead, talk about how you can contribute to the development of south korea or the happiness of the kids you are going to teach in south korea So my next goal is to become a teacher of Korean language.wait so are you from korea or kazakhstan
xutong   
Feb 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / A brilliant leader needs extra efforts and experiences instead of the blood line leadership - Ielts [2]

Hi nsb, from the two main paragraphs i didn't really see how you chose the latter opinion. It seems like you covered the two opinions with the same amount of words.

I feel like it would be beneficial if you say in the 2rd paragraph that although talent is "acknowledged"as something a leader needs, there is no real proof.

And for the third paragraph you could put one example per subtopic to make your essay more convincing.
xutong   
Feb 26, 2016
Undergraduate / GT transfer application essay-- what interest you about your field of study [5]

I've always wanted to be a girl in hope that one day, I'll be considered equal as men. At least at my hometown, women are considered not suitable for science or engineering subjects because we are "not as intelligent". On the other side, I am fortunate to be born here in Beijing, because I have the chance to go to school, to become good at science disciplines, and to peruse something I think is so interesting and mysterious -computer engineering.

A lot of women in other developing countries or underdeveloped countries are in much worst place than I have been though. When I was working on a project for my club Purdue Utility Project (where we build cars for Cameroon, Africa at a incredibly low cost), I ran across this story where Cameroonian women iron their breasts to make them less attractive to men. They thought it is their fault that men assault them-even rape them. This story horrifies me. And it scares me even more that if I were born in Cameroon, I would have done exactly the same thing while thinking it is right to do so. Having seen a lot of female who think they are inferior to male because they weren't exposed to the same education and information I was getting, I know I need to help them.

With computer engineering, I want to build cheaper, more accessible computers for women living in underdeveloped countries or places that information is not accessible. I want them to get the information and education we are getting and let them choose what they want in their lives.

In my high school's politics class, my teacher always said "yes, we do want to help them (women in underdeveloped countries), but there is nothing we can do right now". I hate it when she says that. And I'm going to make changes happen.

//Thank you guys so much for reading my essay for me, I'll go ahead and read through your guys' too.
//I updated it a little bit if it's a little better?
xutong   
Feb 26, 2016
Undergraduate / GT transfer application essay-- what interest you about your field of study [5]

I've always wanted to be a guy in hope that one day people would stop thinking I'm not as intelligent as guys or I could not do the job guys can do. But I am fortunate to be born in Beijing, where although I might not be treated as equally, at least I could go to school.

A lot of women in the other side of the world are in much worst place than I did though.
With computer engineering, I want to build cheaper, more accessible computers for women living in underdeveloped countries or places that information is not accessible. I want them to be exposed to the information and education we are getting and let them choose what they want in their lives. I hate it when politicians say "this is a serious problem but we can't solve it right now". Their lives can't wait and their happiness can't wait.

this is what i have so far; I feel like it needs something; and i have no idea how to make it better:(( plz help
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