Posts by Anaguna

Anaguna

Apr 10, 2016

Writing Feedback / Water is a valuable resource for human and government has to control the water usage [3]

Hello wiwik, here my suggestion for your essay in the third paragraph, hope you can improve your writing skill by seeing my sentences.

In the second reason, why government must control the water ...

"In the second reason, the government has to control the water usage in the worldwide since there are many factories utilizing its sources for the process of production things. For example, in the US, the highest average of using water is 6,000 liters in a day. The citizens consume much water every day and it can be a danger for lack of water supplies. "

Anaguna

Apr 10, 2016

Writing Feedback / Making bricks process. First, the clays that are served in a nature are scrapped by the digger. [2]

Writing Task 1

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram presents the manufacturing process of bricks for construct buildings. There are several stages to produce some bricks and it can be seen that the method of production mostly used temperature control machine since the bricks must be drying and cooling.

First, the clays that are served in a nature are scrapped by the digger. After that, it is filtered by using metal grid and it is suddenly rolled by the roller. Afterward, the granules are added by sand and water before it turns to the next process. This is where the process diverged, the granules can be printed by the mould or it solidified by the wire cutter. After getting the bricks, it still needs to dry it by drying oven during 24 until 48 hours. Moreover, the subsequent stage is heating the bricks in centi-degree that is ranged 200 degrees until 980 degrees. For the most completely warming process, it can be heated approximately in the range of 870 degrees to 1300 degrees. Next, the bricks are cooling in the cooling chamber and then the last stage is packaging and then it is ready to take away by the delivery cars.

Anaguna

Sep 20, 2016

Writing Feedback / Tourism as a remedium for peace between people? [4]

Hi David, here I put additional corrections for your summary:

First, you have to be careful in using "to", for instance you utilize "he felt angry and want to gave revenge", it should be " he felt angry and want to give revenge".

to + Verb 1 (to give, not to gave)

Second, if you want to say "he was seven years old", "he was 18 years old ", you can write down a variation of sentence such "he was in the age of 18 "

Thanks.

Anaguna

Sep 20, 2016

Writing Feedback / Am I hero? The Epic Ed Snowden [2]

Hi Giansy, here some corrections are added regarding on your summary in order to improve your capacity in writing.

1. You have to think twice before write down the sentence especially about the subject-verb agreement.
For instance, "Ed Snowden become" > "Ed Snowden becomes ", "he divulge the big secret of NSA" > "he divulges the big secret of NSA", "he was work" > "he was working ", "he suddenly divulge NSA confidential documents" > "he suddenly divulged NSA confidential documents".

2. For this sentence "... and has title as a traitor, a hero, but he prefer to ...", I reckon that it will be better if you just abolish the word "but" since you have been utilizing "even though" in front of your sentence. My suggestion is "Even though he has much follower and has title as either a traitor or a hero, he prefer to claim himself as an American and a citizen, just like everyone else."

Thanks.

Anaguna

Sep 20, 2016

Writing Feedback / Cars lead a sprawl of some areas, not only in urban places but also in rural and suburban range. [2]

Hi Ros, here I give corrections on your summary, hopefully it can be useful for making a betterment in your summary.

1. The sentence
"... to span the rivers and reached a long-distance locations"
This is because the word "span" should has similar type with "reach" as the verb one. (to + verb 1).

2. The subsequent sentence
"In the early twentieth century, electric cars were ... For your suggestion, you have to beware about the punctuation marks in your summary.

Thanks.

Anaguna

Sep 20, 2016

Writing Feedback / Summary Article - Indegenous 'Chola' Clothing Comes to Fashion Week [3]

Hi Fadhil, I have read your summary and I thought some corrections will be essential for improving your ability in writing.

"A Bolivian fashion designer present her local culture through...
... local women who wear traditional clothes included hat...
This is huge deal for her to show it in the international level."

Using verb + s/es: if the noun is singular then you have to add s/es after verb.
A Bolivian fashion designer (singular) presents her local culture ...
"Cholas" is known as the local women who wears traditional clothes.
This is becoming a huge deal for her to show ... (I put word "becoming" and "a" so as to make a clear statement).

Thanks.

Anaguna

Sep 21, 2016

Writing Feedback / Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job really enjoy? WRITING TASKS 2 - IELTS [2]

Hi Andika, here I give you another example regarding your introduction as my though after reading your essay. I hope it can be useful for improving your skill in writing.

Many ways can people do so as to be happy, although indeed it could be different joyful experience for any individual. A number of people believe that loving on working a certain job is one acceptable method to obtain a satisfaction, however, others are more likely to stand up in reverse that various factors are still inevitable such as entertain their selves by either watching preferred games or staying at a resort. I strongly tend to admit that the latter notion is undeniable reason on how to be perfectly getting happiness, not only because of doing a heap of pleasureful job, but also by entertaining individual necessity.

Thanks.

Anaguna

Sep 27, 2016

Writing Feedback / Be the professional photograph by using smarthphone [4]

Hello Giansy, your writing is excellent, however, I suggest some suitable words which can be used to produce well sentences. Those words are put on the second paragraph showed below:

"Smartphone cameras can give a great ... "

"Smartphone cameras can produce a great photograph, but it depends on how user uses that sophisticated technology. Using such cell phone camera is that indeed the user cannot be separated by many common problems which occur due to bad quality of the images such as the auto-focus, flash, and zoom digital. The tricks in operating that technology are believed as methods of solving the mentioned problems and it can be coped with an agility of photographer in utilizing that camera. "

Thanks