Posts by ALDI

ALDI

Jul 12, 2016

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 (Practice) they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98 [3]

Hy yunana, thanks for your posting and now i will give you about my opinions.

You must be remembering if you post IELTS task 1 don't forget post with the picture too. It can be helping for the other people when they want give you correction in your essay.

In task 1 divided 4 paragraph.
for paragraph 1 you need "paraphrasing the question". There are need 2 -3 sentences for explain about that chart.
in paragraph 2 and 3, it is "body", There are need 7 - 8 sentences.
and last paragraph you can give "overall" about your description. there are 1 - 2 sentences only.

i am sorry if my opinion is not good. i hope it can be helping you when you make your essay be perfect. Have a nice day. :-)

ALDI

Jul 12, 2016

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 (Practice) Number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents [4]

Hy Yunana, this is first time i give contributions in EssayForum :) and i hope my contributions can give strengthen for you.

Firstly, you must be remembering task 1 in the IELTS you need 150 words for completed that descriptions. Your essay was only 148 words. I think if like this, you can get badly score.

Secondly, if you will describe task 1 and that line chart, bar chart, and etc you must know the lowest and highest. Therefore, you can compare them.

That all from me and i believe you can do the best for your IELTS. keep spirit and don't give up.

ALDI

Jul 10, 2016

Writing Feedback / The goverment should reduce the amount of money spent on local environment problems [3]

This is the first time i applying in essay forum. please, help me. :-)

The government should reduce the amount of money spent on local environment problems and instead increase funding into urgent and more threatening issues such as global warming.

to what extant do you agree?

Generally, the environment was very important because in there we can stay and live. good environment could be effected from our life style. It is good into mental, physical, and mind. The government try to repair and save with the money of country. the are efforts tried by the government. therefore, that is all just for people country.

Most people have opinions about it and not few people think the government was not consistent and commitment. They just concern with their selves. They can do something just for them selves. For example, reducing the amount of money. It can enrich someone in government area. But nothing like that, not a lot people too thinking the government is already doing the best they can do. Everyone they do something from government should be for the society.

They think if they can reduce the amount of money, it is can be saving the environment, everyone knows the environment could be saved when the government royal with money of country into repairing facilities, and etc. If every government can save and take hold priority for citizens. There are not be many corruptions in government area. it is become global warming in the world.

In conclusion, i do not agree with reducing the amount of money inasmuch as that can affect money of country. but if the government do reduce the amount of money, the must be thinking about citizens economic. The government should understand about saving money of country. there was important because money of country was the point in some countries that "grow up a country"