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Posts by prabudhakshin
Joined: Aug 10, 2009
Last Post: Aug 4, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: India

Displayed posts: 5
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prabudhakshin   
Aug 4, 2010
Writing Feedback / Communicate effectively through the use of images, not language - GRE [3]

Question

The most effective way to communicate an idea or value to large groups of people is through the use of images, not language.

Essay

While it is true that language is an effective way to communicate ideas, when it comes to larger group, communicating ideas using images has its own advantages. Had it not been images, communication crossing the borders, for example, would not have been easier. Understanding a scenario/idea on the spur of the moment also results from the use of images. Finally, unambiguous representation of an event/idea will not be trivial without use of images.

First, Image makes it possible to transcend language barriers and communicate with people of different country, differnet language and different culture. For example, a company which sells it's products round the globe can advertise it's products using images depicting the functionality of the product - a hair tonic company, for instance, can show with a series of images, how the hair grows in profusion by using it's product. Thus it does not have to advertise in different languages for different countries.

Also, Images are quickly, better and easily understood by people in comparison with a descriptive explanation. For example, a pictorical represention of how the population of a particular region has increased/decreased over the past few years will be easier to understand rather than a detailed five to ten lines of explanation on the change. Of course it is possible to communicate the same idea with a well written material but to reach a wider audience, which will comprise diverse people ranging from illiterate to educated, images are sure a better way to communicate.

Finally, something that is presented as an Image can convey the information without loss of accuracy and without ambiguity. Many times it is not possible to use language and descriptive write up to convey information unambiguously. If the information conveyed is not trivial, then it is very likely that different people will understand it different ways. For instance, for a mathematician who wants to describe a geometrical figure, it is easier and efficient to draw the figure rather than to use a language to describe it. Also he can make sure that the figure is perceived as he expected by everyone.

Clearly, use of images makes communication easier, better and hassle free. While language can not be completely avoided, it is true that image is an universal language that crosses boundaries. Rather than sticking with using only language for communication, we should start using image as another mode of communication as and when needed and wherever it is applicable.
prabudhakshin   
Aug 4, 2010
Writing Feedback / "Learning is power" - toefl-why people go to colleges or universities? [9]

I took a cursory look at your essay and here are my initial feedbacks.

>> We think about to go to colleges or universities is necessary for starting to get a job

I think this should be something like "We think that it is necessary to study in a college/university in order to get a good job"

>> For example, everybody has this kind of experience before.

What do you mean by 'this kind' ?

>> When you solved a mathemetics question, you could not solve it whole day

I feel that this sentence structure is not satisfying.

And other feedbacks also same as above.

My general feedback is you have to improve your language and try to be more fluent. Try to start with a strong introduction which has a thesis and 3 or 4 supporting statements. In the subsequent passages elaborate each statement with example and conclude with a recap of your thesis.

Good luck!
prabudhakshin   
Aug 20, 2009
Writing Feedback / Music helps people both personally and maintains the culture values of country [5]

Hi EF_Sean, GeneK, EF_Simone thank you much for your comments. I will incorporate your comments in my next essay.

@EF_Simone
What about this:

In recent times music is widely used by doctors, especially by psychiatrists and cardiologists in treating certain kinds of mental and physical ailments.

Am not very sure of what is wrong with,

>> Many people feel that music is a good companion for them when they are alone, when they travel and it acts as a solace when they are sad.

Please correct me.
prabudhakshin   
Aug 20, 2009
Writing Feedback / Music helps people both personally and maintains the culture values of country [5]

Hi guys, this is my very first GRE issue essay. Need your valuable feedback. Am not sure whether the content is sufficient or short. Please comment...

Thanks in advance..

TOPIC : Why music is so important to people?

Today, we people are living in a fast paced world and carrying out extremely demanding work that increases mental stress and gives very little room for relaxation. Since music helps people to sit and relax themselves, it is considered as important by most people. But the fact remains true that there few other people who do not find music so important because, either they do not find time to listen to music or they do not find it amusing.

Music has become a part of people's everyday routine. People listen to music starting right from their home to public buses, temples, shopping malls and all along the way till their workplace. Music helps people to forget and overcome the burden of their work and feel refreshed. For example, a menial worker

who spends his whole day doing the monotonous job may become bored of his job, which will eventually result in decreased productivity. But by listening to music during his work, he can keep himself afresh and do his job in a enthusiatic and better manner.Many employers realizing the importance of music that it will increase the productivity, allow their employees to listen to music while they do their work. People working in software companies can be cited as an example.

In recent times music is widely used by doctors in treating mental and physical ailments; especially by psychiatrists and cardiologists. Doctors believe that music help people to recover from certain kind of mental depression and heart diseases. Recent study by American Medical Council states that people who listen to mild flowing music for 10 minutes daily are less likely to develop a heart disease than who do not listen to music at all.

Many people feel that music is a good companion for them when they are alone, when they travel and it acts as a solace when they are sad. Also music helps keeping people united and maintaining cultural values. When the black people were oppressed in America, many of their social values were affected by the dictatorship. But the Blacks kept their music as a separate community understanding its importance - which helped them preserving some of their core cultural values.

In conclusion, since music helps people both personally and maintaining the culture values of the their country, music is loved and considered important by most people. People who do not understand the importance of music can be edified so they can also imbue and indulge in music.
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