Undergraduate / Common app supplement Essay: Harvard University Supplement essay [4]

DESCRIBE ANY BOOK ,EVENT THAT HELPED YOUR INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT.
Few days earlier i posted an essay no one gave me any response of my good.Please can't any one help me this time.

I always stood as a flickering light of firefly in the dark night. During insurgency it was a benediction as doing something without doubt would get you killed. One day armies will come and indoctrinate that revolutionaries were doing wrong a next day revolutionaries will give the other end of story. Even if the situation I was born in badge me with this nature of doubt, I blame some of this to my extended study in my philosophical interests.

"Two roads diverged in the woods and I travelled the one less travelled by" But how can a traveler draw map of the journey when he has travelled just one of the roads. My intellect is a refuge of the Hindu "Bhagvad Gita" and "Thus spoke Zarathustra of Fredrick Nietzsche". These contradicting philosophies have given me freedom of varying from being attachments-free Karma-yogi and agnostic self-centric envious man. I fear that my intellectual is driven by the delusion and I will reach nowhere close to the destination. But Fear is an art of survival in a war torn village. It was my fear that kept me alive by touching anything I see anywhere. And my weary feet gets a strong stone to land when I remember "Appo Diyo Bhava: Be thy own light": last lines of Buddha. Even Buddha died giving a different teaching in his death-bed than finding from his enlightenment. So, my frailty has no meaning of wobbling and shivering at an un-travelled journey.

Peace is what I have been seeking all my life: A peace inside me and a peace outside of me. But every day I feel like I'm farthest from my destination. In this hopelessness, Infinite possibilities and infinite ways come to me and all show me a delusional utopia. But Zarathustra reminds me that Chaos will give birth to a star and I hope "super-man" which he have promised is able to bring the peace in the hollow slums inside me and in the void chaos outside me. His "Super-man" is lot more similar to my far-fetched dream, both originate after chaos just difference is one evolves inside man and other evolves outside.

But at the end of the day, I'm just a teenager and my driving wheel of thought is handled by this "I'ness": I will do this for them and that for others with my own capital utopian "I". Involuntarily, I make myself same as those authorities whom I have hated all my life. In the midst of the violent abrupt of thoughts, I stumble upon lines of Krishna "To action alone hast thou a right and never at all to its fruits; let not the fruits of action be thy motive; neither let there be in thee any attachment to inaction ." This act of altruism overcomes my own selfish alter-ego hidden in the shroud of my intellectual virtue and lends silence in my head.

My destination might be farther than I have thought but while I tremble, stumble and fall, May Zarathustra reminds me of the pristine Envy that I have to own up to. And if I reach the farthest destination where this frail body can reach May Krishna reminds me of that nothing here is going to be forever and may equanimity be in my work and my fretting self. Let my belief vanishes from the dark cloud of thoughts and in the road I see only: myself and my destination.

Undergraduate / Soliloquy-2016-17 Common Application Personal Statement Essay prompt from an International Student- [3]

Hi!I'm from Nepal.I'm trying to get into any colleges from USA. Would my essay reach the mark?

Soliloquy

Ear-hurting volume plunged into my ears and attention moved towards the TV.It was AajTak's wordy news story:free speech,hate speech;multiculturalism;marginalization;extremism;Islamophobia;anti-Semitism;terrorism;fallout from foreign policy;religion and international affairs.This high end vocabulary took my memories back to my childhood.

My father said He must be dead by now.And the pinhole of my house became lenses of reality and the road in-front became a death-ground.You must be beaten for hours and thrown like sack of sawdust.Is this a death?To die in the silence unknown forgotten in the black clouds of barbarism.What if the armies stopped at my house?There I feel my dry throat,my small tongue which swallowed the voice of my feeble breath.I see the blood clots at the middle of road and hear the howl of that silence.But What is hiding us from helping?Why cannot I speak about this bloodbath to anyone?It's because the culprits were different;government-officers killed him.A gunshot interrogated him at chest and all his life bleed out.Then,Did he bleed just to be fodder for ants and flies?

Loud TV channel reminds me of silent radio-stations where we had to hear the total death toll and curfew timetable.There News read:18 of innocent people were shot to cold blood,1000's were injured.It was Nepal's civil movement and long school break galvanized everyone to fight.We students stood with white flags,banners of "STOP FIGHT"before 100 guns.A week later my district-Chitwan-was first district where government put down their weapons of manslaughter.Power of people came to people but mothers won't get their children,orphans won't get their parents and widows won't get their husband back.Removing of rubber bullets out of corpse won't make way for shellacked soul to return.Gods were dead in those boulevard of blood-dipped pellets.None of national Magna Carta made treaty with heaven,none of souls came back.Again,Can a life be redeemed for anything?

My memories flood back to Nepal's earthquake,where many died of same hopelessness.7.8 Richter scale earthquake left 1500-students,staff and local people-with finishing rations next to the international airport where planes flew with food and water.Students divided into four teams for :lodging,food,water,sanitary-medicines.I was wrong about death all the time,death creates just fear but hunger hurts.Hunger hurts when looking at thirsty eyes and drench him with empty hopes of filling pile of empty jars.Each student survived with 2 liter of water per-day;When last two jars remained,we went to an old water spring and brought water and kept ourselves alive until help came.Then,Which life matters?ones who died or ones who survived?

Actually,I always feared and stayed back.Fear raided me:as army bunker,as child militia recruitment program of 'Maoist' revolutionaries.I just stared at a murder,just hold a banner and sealed tongue fearing guns might hear,just looked at myriads of houses razed into ground.

Patronizing myself with these events will be a lie.Many students ran form army's trucks,1000's were killed in-front of houses and many ran to survive during earthquake.Then,did they sacrifice for vain?and Boy died that night just for nothing.I cannot allow life's mount into hopelessness.That day if not that boy someone was going to die in his place,wasn't there a possibility of my death?Then,Am I responsible and Should I mourn for all my life?

Every adversity and setback enkindles the door for new opportunity.Every wall breaks and hate dies.But also,someone else is running today closing his ear and watching manslayer's barbarism.So,If I put this story to myself,it will be prejudice to my past and all the sacrifices will meltdown into a pile of debris.

Suddenly,all smoldering memories came to halt with a question.I might tell my story to the world but how can I make world Listen to me?