SV kumar
Jan 5, 2017
Writing Feedback / Essay about causes of crimes - the main reasons are the lack of education, religion and drugs. [3]
Hello Abderrahime,
[Crimes Is a serious issue that the people suffer froms.] The second part of the sentence is not complete.Crime is a serious issue.People have been suffering from it.
Try to avoid the words like, a lot, big , whatever. they weaken the idea. use particular words for expression.
Try to use other synonyms of people.aviod repeating the same word.
the people suffer a lot from those criminals who don't care about the human being. However, They Care about their personal reasons (State this point through an example.It is unclear)
There are some issues on grammar. You need to work on sentence structure such as
Whatever, those criminals wear the mask of religion to kill people and said that the religion did.(Those criminals killed the people and blamed the religion.)
Make a possible to use one tense throughout the essay.It is helpful for the flows.
Hello Abderrahime,
[Crimes Is a serious issue that the people suffer froms.] The second part of the sentence is not complete.Crime is a serious issue.People have been suffering from it.
Try to avoid the words like, a lot, big , whatever. they weaken the idea. use particular words for expression.
Try to use other synonyms of people.aviod repeating the same word.
the people suffer a lot from those criminals who don't care about the human being. However, They Care about their personal reasons (State this point through an example.It is unclear)
There are some issues on grammar. You need to work on sentence structure such as
Whatever, those criminals wear the mask of religion to kill people and said that the religion did.(Those criminals killed the people and blamed the religion.)
Make a possible to use one tense throughout the essay.It is helpful for the flows.