Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by SV kumar
Name: sangeeta
Joined: Aug 31, 2016
Last Post: Jan 5, 2017
Threads: 1
Posts: 5  

From: UNITED STATES
School: MDU

Displayed posts: 6
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
SV kumar   
Jan 5, 2017
Writing Feedback / Essay about causes of crimes - the main reasons are the lack of education, religion and drugs. [3]

Hello Abderrahime,
[Crimes Is a serious issue that the people suffer froms.] The second part of the sentence is not complete.Crime is a serious issue.People have been suffering from it.

Try to avoid the words like, a lot, big , whatever. they weaken the idea. use particular words for expression.
Try to use other synonyms of people.aviod repeating the same word.
the people suffer a lot from those criminals who don't care about the human being. However, They Care about their personal reasons (State this point through an example.It is unclear)

There are some issues on grammar. You need to work on sentence structure such as
Whatever, those criminals wear the mask of religion to kill people and said that the religion did.(Those criminals killed the people and blamed the religion.)

Make a possible to use one tense throughout the essay.It is helpful for the flows.
SV kumar   
Dec 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / Essay; Relationship between old and young people in the modern world [3]

Hello Anna,
I am suggesting some correction. Hope it will helpful.

It is undeniable that the youth today tends to be more powerful than ...
(This sentence is unclear. make it simple and short.)

Moreover, another benefit can be taken from the internet network.
Does it mean that senior generation is not using the internet.Please state your point.

By using it, modern kids can not only communicate with ...
(This sentence confusing the reader and check the use of punctuation)

To sum up, today's generation is said to ...
(To sum up, young generation have wide range of new and advanced technology)

your essay needs clarity.
Hope it will help you.
SV kumar   
Sep 2, 2016
Graduate / Our life have some high or low point in life. Choose one point and its impact on you. [5]

I am preparing for CBEST. Please suggest me where I need improvement . Thank you guy

This is the worst experience but taught me invaluable lesson of life. It was couples of years before when my mother got admitted in hospital due to severe condition. She was a diebetic patient from last 4-5 yrs. We are expecting her recovery because she was just 50 years old and can not even imagine that she could leave us suddenly. The hardest part of the situation is that it is just before 3 days of my sister wedding.We are all including her so engaged in the preparation of marriage and she got sick suddenly. All was set for the ceremony and an unexpected disaster ruined everything. The wedding ceremony done just as a formality. Being the eldest daughter I was consoling my siblings but what I was feeling can not be explained in words.My mother died and marriage happened (we could not postpone because of some rituals). How I managed these two unremarkable situations of life was the courage inside me, I never felt before. Those7 days of my life turned me so mature,responsible and practical person. It taught me nothing is stop because of the absense of someone whether its dearest one.We have to do our duties, we are ready or not. Circumstances teach us to get ready for everything.

Though I have no words to explain my grief yet I learned how to use pain as a strength to move forward in life. My mother was not there but her dearth taught me ;don't stop in any situation, keep moving.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳